The usual problem

[Caddy One]

I may have mis-read the part of the story about not wearing your kilt as a costume and then I read more and it is stated that Halloween is one of the times you would wear your kilt......IMHO the kilt is not a costume and it would be a disgrace to the kilt and anybody Scottish or Scottish descent........I could ramble on but........enuff said.....and if I did mis-read the post please correct me.........

[Phil E. Begg]

Yes, Caddy - that was exactly the point I was making, sorry if it was unclear. SHE was okay with me wearing one only at those times when it could be considered "costume". But I refuse to treat it as such, therefore I won't wear it *only* at those times - if I am not wearing it on other occasions, I won't wear any of my kilts "only" on Halloween, at the Games, or Hogmanay.

Until we break that impasse, I won't wear any of them.

Thanks everyone for the support and the suggestions. It really does make a difference, and I can continue the debate with my better half in good spirit!


Phil

[Kid Cossack]

What about wearing a kilt around the house? Yard work, home office work, that kind of thing? Initially, my wife was fine with me wearing a kilt around the house, "but you're not going out in it!" So I wore pants when we went out together, but kilts around the house, and sometimes when I'd go out on my own, and gradually she came around. Best of luck in finding the right balance between the garment you love to wear and the wife you live to love.

[Caddy One]

I did read it wrong......My apology sir.........thanks for gettin me straight........and by the way ........The Next Round Is On Me..........

[Riverkilt]

I can't imagine the situation reversed..."Honey, you shouldn't wear pants so often, it not right that women wear pants."

Gotta be some fear at the core. Fear drives power and control. Maybe the guys are right she needs to "please" daddy and mommie and fears their disapproval.

And the ideas of immersing in kilt culture nearby are great. Take her shopping with you to the retail stores in Manassas and Old Alexandria and any others.

If you're sure, as mentioned above, that you look good in the kilt - are wearing it right - not looking the fool, then its HER issue, not yours.

It is a BIG change and change frightens many people...despite the fact that they're spinning through space at an incredible speed while standing on plates of rock floating on hot lava.

Ron

[CactusJack]

My wife also loved the fact that I'm kilted- at first. And then I started getting all kinds of attention of the feminine kind and she got all jealous. Maybe your Mrs. is jealous as well.

Ditto, I spoke with my wife about this last night to try to get the female side of this problem and she pretty much said the same thing.

[muirkirkca]

In-laws can be very nosey, gossipy and intrusive and can get very upset if you try to put them in their place. Best of luck in managing this matter but persistence may win out in the end.

[Big Mikey]

In my brief time as a member of this fine forum, I can not count how many stories I have read just like this one.

Phil, I think you will not go wrong taking the previous advice that has been offered.

What your situation reminded me of this morning is the premarriage meeting my wife and I had with the minister. He did not want to know specifics but he wanted to know whether we had discussed children, careers, finances, religion and such other things that can affect a relationship.

Choosing to wear the kilt is a lifestyle change no different from many others such as smoking (starting OR quitting), drinking, exercise, diet, hobbies, etc.

When there is potential for affecting both lives in a partnership, an informed discussion is warranted.

In my own case, my wife always knew that at some point in my life, I wanted a kilt to honour my granparents. It was she that saw a story on tv detailing Utilikilts and it was she that suggested we stop at their store on a trip through Washington.

Little did she know that she was creating a monster. On my part, I always ask her opinion on an item before purchasing. If she doesn't like it or if she thinks it won't look good on me, I pass.

The point of this spiel is to offer you support and to encourage any "lurkers" to consider their partners when making the leap to a better way of life. Good luck.

[pdcorlis]

Snip...

I wore a kilt to dinner... once with the in-laws (they thought I had gone crazy in the desert)...

Snip...

She claims that it is only out of concern for me - she doesn't want me to be embarassed...

Ok so - all the usual disclaimers regarding credentials and distance diagnosis etc, etc, etc. Sounds like a case of tranference to me. Go easy and go slow. If she is out with you when you're kilted she will slowly see its really no big deal. Crowds of strangers will not gather in the public square to scorn or mock you. Occasoinally you will get a kind comment and life will go on.

If you want someone to get over their fear of snakes you don't start by throwing them in a room full of snakes - you start by showing them a photo of a snake...

Good Luck!

[Fox]

Was the change of mind due to the views of the n-laws and that they may be giving her a hard time about it?

Yeah, I'm no Psychologist, but this is the point that stood out to me as well. Some sort of approval thing with the parental units.