Wedding Wear

[Jock Scot]

Speaking as one of those who is under 50 and trying to learn "proper dress", I can tell you it's because society doesn't care about what's "proper" any more. You older fellows apparently were taught somewhere, or picked up the rules of etiquette along the way. But for us younger folks, we were raised in a time where etiquette was (apparently) not important. It's not like they teach this stuff in school. And it seems that your generation failed somehow to pass along your knowledge to mine. Nowadays people expect the rental/hire companies to know the rules for formality (it's their business, after all!), so if these companies are responsible for bad information, shame on them. For normal people who do not attend enough formal functions to have been exposed to proper etiquette, why would you have expected them to know all the rules? Many of us are trying to learn from you older and wiser gentlemen, and we appreciate your help on these issues. But I can't help feeling a little defensive when being labeled as "too ignorant to know better", even if it's an accurate statement. You may not have intended it to be demeaning, but surely you can understand how your statements could be taken as such, especially from the folks who are genuinely asking for help.

Okay, you do raise a valid point that there are actually some that really want to learn about kilt etiquette and on the whole there are those that really have taken the trouble to give help where they can. No one, as far as I can see, is intending to be demeaning any more than any one is intending to be sensitive, or defensive. BUT we all have our little ways and emails have a way of camouflaging, or, magnifying comments, in a way that is not really intended either by the poster or the receiver, or both; that is they way it is I suppose.

For those that are trying to learn please bare in mind the times that good advice has been given and that advice has been rejected in a not very diplomatic way. So its a two way thing.

Anyway, YOU keep asking and I/WE will keep the advice coming. How about that? .

[Tobus]

Anyway, YOU keep asking and I/WE will keep the advice coming. How about that?

Sounds like a deal!

(Sorry... reading my post again I sure sound like a whiner. I didn't mean to come across that way.)

I can't speak for others, but I'm trying to take all the good advice to heart, rejecting nothing. But it sure seems like this whole issue of "proper dress" is a big onion. I keep peeling back layers, only to find more layers.

[mull]

[QUOTE=Jock Scot;856868]

I was only having a spot of fun!! Honest! I was doing the "grumpy old man bit", that is all. I had hoped that the smiley face would give you the clue that our conversation was in jest. I hope that no harm has been done, certainly none was intended and none has been done over here!

Jock,
No harm done, I am happy to not have inadvertently offended you.
Joe

[MacLowlife]

Of course Jock's advice is good advice, but I wonder if this might be one (OR TWO) time(s) when a little something over the top is acceptable- the Father of the Bride, even a surrogate father of the bride, is entitled to be very dressed up and might even be able to carry off being overdressed for a daytime wedding, i.e., wearing the great whacking plaid and all of that. The trick is, for that third wedding (where you will be an ordinary guest), to show just how understated a gentleman in a kilt can be.

Ummm Paul, were you in that picture? I saw a lady and then didn't notice what else was there.

[Jock Scot]

Sounds like a deal!

(Sorry... reading my post again I sure sound like a whiner. I didn't mean to come across that way.)

I can't speak for others, but I'm trying to take all the good advice to heart, rejecting nothing. But it sure seems like this whole issue of "proper dress" is a big onion. I keep peeling back layers, only to find more layers.

Tobus you are complicating things by having two onions! If you really want to understand kilt attire throw that American dress code "onion" in the bin! Gently and with great respect, of course. KEEP THE SCOTS KILT ATTIRE "ONION"!

Assuming that my advice is fairly sound, what is complicated about my original post on this thread?What is there to make that advice complicated? Remember the US Onion is out of commission! So what makes that advice complicated?

[Tobus]

Oh, I wasn't talking about the advice in this thread being part of the confusion. It makes good sense. I was just thinking about another thread where the discussion was on strict rules on sleeve length and jacket cuts and proper ties, but then the answer on color coordination seemed to be that it's a free-for-all.

It's good advice to toss out the American dress code onion and focus solely on the Scots kilt attire onion. That's probably the source of confusion for those of us trying to learn: conflicting/confusing rules between the two.

Some rules seem universal, meaning that they can be applied to kilted attire or non-kilted attire (and some of us don't even know these rules, having never been exposed to them even though we've been wearing p***s all our lives). Other rules between the two onions seem to be at odds. So there's a lot to learn, and again, I thank the older experienced gentlemen for sharing their knowledge.

[Jock Scot]

Tobus. We are being rude here as we have hi jacked this thread. Sorry every one.

[AJWatson]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your advice and sorry if my question upset anyone as being ignorant. Like Tobus I am just looking to learn the etiquette and thankful of the advice of experienced members.

I have checked with the brides and my sister and uncle are expecting the PC and the bride for the 3rd one thought it was sweet we checked and would welcome the kilt. I will wear my Argyle jacket and daywear sporran.

Thanks for the interesting debate.

Andrew

[Standard]

Happy kilting AJ. As always here on XMarksTheScot please don't forget the photos!

[gordontaos]

I for one sincerely appreciate the advice. I had not considered that wearing the fly plaid would possibly upstage the Bride. You have certainly saved me from a serious social faux pas!