Private Groups

[Rufus]

I had no idea "off topic was members only" how can you tell?

If you try to get into the forums without logging in, then it won't even appear on your computer. Most guys here probably have things set to log them in automatically, so they haven't seen this.

[Xcop]

Hank,
I really think that your attack on JohnAllen was totally uncalled for. It reminds me of your infantile attack of the Alaskan gang a few weeks ago.
There are some wonderful people in this forum; each and every one unique. I personally choose not to be associated with people who are so narrow minded such as yourself. This will be my last visit to X Marks the Scot. To those who I consider friends, I will miss having you as part of my life.

David

[bear]

I just re-read all the posts in this thread and can't find the attack.
As a matter of fact, my last post came across harsher than Hank's, harsher than intended. I hope no offense was taken there because none was meant.

I just re-read Hank's last post again. It's a stretch but I can see how, if one was inclined to, one could read a nasty attitude into Hank's post.
Personally, I read it first as compassionate. He apologised, offered suggestions as to where he might find help with such personal issues, and asked JohnAllen not to take the message too harshly.
I honestly don't see an attack.

XCop,
I'm trying to see both sides in this. Please stick around and hash it out. I think you might be leaving for something that was not intended as an attack.

[Graham]

I don't know how many times I've said this but we really do need to be a little less sensitive on a board like this.

Misunderstandings so easily occur without the benefit of personal contact, be MUST make allowances for that.

I really think that men who go about publicly wearing a kilt need to be thick skinned.

Xcop, I cannot see that Hank has committed any great sin here and since you and I were not privy to the private communication that went on with John and Hank, how can we be in a position to judge.

My advice is - let it go, don't let it become a bigger issue than it needs to, that was where the Alaskans went wrong, comeon, it's not worth it.

[highlandtide]

Hank,
I really think that your attack on JohnAllen was totally uncalled for. It reminds me of your infantile attack of the Alaskan gang a few weeks ago.
There are some wonderful people in this forum; each and every one unique. I personally choose not to be associated with people who are so narrow minded such as yourself. This will be my last visit to X Marks the Scot. To those who I consider friends, I will miss having you as part of my life.

David

I cant for the life of me figure out where I attacked JA. Xcop if you think my "attack" of the Alaskan crew was infantile so be it. Seems you have some pent up frustration that you just now vented. I cant figure some of you guys out sometime. JA asked me in a PM if I would make a private forum just for him so he could discuss some issues he was having. I said no and then he posts on the open forum the same thing after I had already said no. I address this and I am the bad guy? I give him other options and I am the bad guy? I am narrow minded b/c I dont want this forum to be the Dr. Phil show? Whatever...

[bikercelt1]

Criminetely guys! Lighten up! X-cop, don't get in a snit over other peoples problems. JohnAllen and Hank will work it out or they won't, but it's their deal. Don't deprive yourself and the rest of us of this relationship over somebody else's "conflict".

Like Bear, I read over the post's several times with a critical eye. I can see where Hank might be considered abrupt or overly emphatic, but I think he's doing a great job. Particularly in light of the recent conflict. I also can understand why JohnAllen might want to make his suggestion known to the group. I thought the dialogue that followed was reasoned and gave an opportunity for all of us to reach out and grow a little. I think it has been well handled up to this point. If there is something I missed here please let me know.

I think Graham put it best, "men who go about publicly wwearing kilts need to be thick skinned".

Jamie

[RockyR]

I better weigh in on this. I had not been able to get on for a while so I did not see all this comotion.

I don't see where Hank or anyone else attacked me at all. Easy XCOP stay here, I think you went too far in your comments about Hank, way too far. As far as Alaskan. I don't know enough about that situation and I am staying clear.

No one here as offended me. No One

Bear was a little sharp, but so what?? I am not offended. He is just trying to convey his view.

I am not thin skinned. I said I was dissapointed that hank thought my post was unneccessary, but I was not offended. I think carefully before I post so if I think it is neccesary, I don't like the comment that what I have to say is irrelevant. I don't care if all of you disagree. Matters not to me one fathom. but just don't say it aint necessary. That turns people away from posting in my view.

I am Vietnam vet that came home to an ungrateful nation. I have been all around the world and in more countries then I can remember, mid east, orient Europe, Africa, many Pacific and Atlantic Islands and South America and almost made it down under but only got as far as Singapore. So To be thin skinned would not fair well for this old salt.

Ditto to the remark that if your gonna wear a kilt in public you better have a case of skin thickner near by!


Hank did not offend me but he clearly did misunderstand me. I do not want a private forum for me. That would be silly. I am not in need of mental help, I am not in need of pastoral counseling on kilt wearing. ...

But I do want to discuss Kilt wearing realted to family issues with members only.

I am intersested in ALL MEMBERS only being able to post messages in private. PM leaves every one else out so that is not good. and I feel like writing an unsolicited PM can be intrusive

I do think the capability to form groups for some discussions are beneficial. Even on a board like this, We get more comfortable with diuscussing "some issues" with some more then others. It does not mean we want to exclude anyone. For example, wearing Kilts from a biblical perspective can only be addressed by people who see it as a spiritual issue. So for others to jump in and start bashing that perspective as they do at toms is counterproductive to those who really want to know in a group setting. That's just an example. Not my issue. As long as those who are not interested in that perspective are respectful or just read then no problem. But Hank has said pretty much no bible here so if it could be discussed in a group format for those wanting it, it seems it would alleviate the concerns Hank has for heated debates on politics and religion. I am a Christian , a very conservative Baptist. Everything I do and wear is with the concern for glorifying Christ. So even wearing kilts is an issue that requires,me to ask What does the Lord Say concerning this?

I know others have the same concerns but not all. Every time I tried to share wearing non bifurcated garments from a biblical perspective at toms' even though I was supporting it, I was attacked or snipped at. So those who really were interested, And I got enough private emails to know several were) got short changed. because the bible was ridiculed. so it stiffled the exchange of what is a very important issue for some.

Because of the nature of this thread, and because of the limitations on private discussion, I am forced to express this here Hank so please do not delete this.

The Bible says
"For whatsoever you do in word or deed, do all to the Glory of God.... "

I undersatnd your view Hank and respect that you run a tight ship. Enough said?

Never mind though. I will use the off topic area for any issue I don't want non members to see.

Thank you all,, Now can we get on with the Joy of wering a Kilt? I have some very good news to share and I hope it is an encourgement to all of you.

"First understand OTHERS then try to be understood.! SO I am working to understand you when I don't...

See you all in Kilt land..

[Graham]

John, I for one am glad that your humble attitude has compelled you to 'put matters right'.

We have all seen how little matters grow very quickly here, such is the nature of the beast (BB's).

I am not in need of pastoral counseling on kilt wearing. ...

This is what we are here for, to encourage those who enjoy kilts and get to know one another a little more in the process.

As far as Christianity and kilts go, if you've not seen it you might like to read my article on this site: http://www.xmarksthescot.com/articles_id.php?id=1

I'd appreciate anything you have to add on it.

[RockyR]

John, I for one am glad that your humble attitude has compelled you to 'put matters right'.

We have all seen how little matters grow very quickly here, such is the nature of the beast (BB's).

I am not in need of pastoral counseling on kilt wearing. ...

This is what we are here for, to encourage those who enjoy kilts and get to know one another a little more in the process.

As far as Christianity and kilts go, if you've not seen it you might like to read my article on this site: http://www.xmarksthescot.com/articles_id.php?id=1

I'd appreciate anything you have to add on it.

Thank you, I will check out your article for sure-- what I meant by that remark you quoted is that I am not a basket case. Do I need help and encourgement-- You bet. That is why I sought you out Graham!

Thanks!! You kilted old Goat!

[Hamish]

This type of arguement/disagreement has all but sounded the death knell for other forums. For Goodness sake, my brothers, grow up or get a life and do not let the same happen here!! Those of us who are not (knowingly) involved in these bouts of fisticuffs will not want to visit if this is to continue.

If you don't like the venue and the way it is run, then don't return to it. It is that simple.

I believe Hank is doing a very difficult job, and doing it well. This site blossomed at an alarming rate and he coped with it far more effectively than I could ever have done. Thank you Hank.

Ham.