Reaction to you Wearing a Kilt

[Baeau]

I think all of us who may have been married for some time, in my case 33 years, are now living vicariously through your experience! I am now wondering if I would have worn a kilt on a first date. What would have happened if I had done so with my wife? Would she even have become my wife?
It is definitely a risky move, but you are just dating and it's supposed to fun, and you might just find a young lady who loves a bit of surprise and adventure! Best of luck and let us know what happens.

Date,......Date,.....Date?? I think I did that about 36 years ago, can't remember. Seriously, my wife (at that time) would have been put off. A very shy young lady. Didn't know how to deal with outlandish / flamboyant people (I do not/never did fit either adjective). She stayed away from anyone that dressed to stand out in the crowds. Now, she's fine with me kilted. That said, she can, now, split a man's head at 20 paces with her tongue.

[ibrew4u]

\
One lovely lady, some years ago, when it was time to advance our relationship said forcefully, "Leave the kilt on."

After 28 years of bifurcated marriage, I kilted up and received the same instructions.

[Bluethunder90]

I am laughing my socks off at this reply!

So can I ask kindly? How many more dates are going to founder, before you change course?

Lol! That's a very good question and is the reason I sought advice from the Kilted community

[Bluethunder90]

Lad, if your natural inclinations run a woman away, why would you want to spend time with her, since it would be difficult to be yourself? Having spent 46 years with a woman whose reaction to my natural inclinations is usually "Great! Let's go!", trust me, it's more fun.

You have a very good point.......

[ForresterModern]

Why not ask her out to a very public place where a kilt would not necessarily be seen as out of place? If there is a kilt night in your area, a nice gaelic pub, perhaps even a daytime date to a highland games where the kilt would not be out of the range of expected dress. I think a girl might get a bit put out if you showed up kilted to a first date at a nice dressy restaurant or somewhere where she would be expected to be alone with you, as the kilt might be a bit too much "up front" with your percieved masculinity, if you get my drift.
Riverkilt is right that in a general gathering it would not be unusual for you to garner unexpected attention from some interested and interesting parties who you were not specifically there with, but on a planned date with a woman who is not already aware of your tendencies toward kilted dress (be it frequent or infrequent) it may come off as presumptuous. With that one I would run with Jock. (That's a first Jock, something we agree on my friend). But I also agree with others that if you are a committed kilt wearer it should be mentioned if not frankly shown early in the relationship enough to verify the lady's acceptability with being seen out and about with you in the kilt and comfortable with her role in that regard. Else it does not bode well for the lady or the kilt in the long run.

[OC Richard]

This thread is interesting and thought-provoking, and it's made me go down Memory Lane and think of my dating days. (My wife and I recently celebrated our 30th, it's been a while!)

I did a lot of dating in my University days but honestly I can't remember giving the kilt issue much thought.

Most of the girls were aware I was a piper before we started dating, and I met one girl at a Highland Games, both of us kilted!

I sometimes dated fellow Scottish Country Dancers, Scottish fiddlers, people part of our local Scottish community. Kilts are just part of it.

Outside that community, part of the thing was my approach to kilt-wearing. Like most pipers I usually only wear the kilt when I'm playing the pipes, or back then when doing Scottish dancing. Also I wear Highland Dress when attending functions where a suit or tuxedo are called for (not owning a suit or tux).

So the girls I dated knew that if we were attending any formal event I would be in Highland Evening Dress. They loved it!

But I wouldn't be kilted for any ordinary sort of date, so the "first date kilted" thing usually didn't happen.

I recall an odd first date: we had set up the date, and it was after a gig I had, a high-paying gig where they wanted me to appear in Full Dress (feather bonnet and all). She said she wanted to come along on the gig, to see me play, so the start of our first date she helped me put on the full plaid (difficult to do by yourself). After the gig I changed into ordinary clothes for our dinner-date, so it wasn't a "kilted first date" per se.

[Jock Scot]

Why not ask her out to a very public place where a kilt would not necessarily be seen as out of place? If there is a kilt night in your area, a nice gaelic pub, perhaps even a daytime date to a highland games where the kilt would not be out of the range of expected dress. I think a girl might get a bit put out if you showed up kilted to a first date at a nice dressy restaurant or somewhere where she would be expected to be alone with you, as the kilt might be a bit too much "up front" with your percieved masculinity, if you get my drift.
Riverkilt is right that in a general gathering it would not be unusual for you to garner unexpected attention from some interested and interesting parties who you were not specifically there with, but on a planned date with a woman who is not already aware of your tendencies toward kilted dress (be it frequent or infrequent) it may come off as presumptuous. With that one I would run with Jock. (That's a first Jock, something we agree on my friend). But I also agree with others that if you are a committed kilt wearer it should be mentioned if not frankly shown early in the relationship enough to verify the lady's acceptability with being seen out and about with you in the kilt and comfortable with her role in that regard. Else it does not bode well for the lady or the kilt in the long run.

Oh I don't know Jeff, I seem to recall that in about 2008/9 we came very near to agreeing about something! Perhaps it was agreeing to disagree on something/everything?

[Bluethunder90]

This thread is interesting and thought-provoking, and it's made me go down Memory Lane and think of my dating days. (My wife and I recently celebrated our 30th, it's been a while!)

I did a lot of dating in my University days but honestly I can't remember giving the kilt issue much thought.

Most of the girls were aware I was a piper before we started dating, and I met one girl at a Highland Games, both of us kilted!

I sometimes dated fellow Scottish Country Dancers, Scottish fiddlers, people part of our local Scottish community. Kilts are just part of it.

Outside that community, part of the thing was my approach to kilt-wearing. Like most pipers I usually only wear the kilt when I'm playing the pipes, or back then when doing Scottish dancing. Also I wear Highland Dress when attending functions where a suit or tuxedo are called for (not owning a suit or tux).

So the girls I dated knew that if we were attending any formal event I would be in Highland Evening Dress. They loved it!

But I wouldn't be kilted for any ordinary sort of date, so the "first date kilted" thing usually didn't happen.

I recall an odd first date: we had set up the date, and it was after a gig I had, a high-paying gig where they wanted me to appear in Full Dress (feather bonnet and all). She said she wanted to come along on the gig, to see me play, so the start of our first date she helped me put on the full plaid (difficult to do by yourself). After the gig I changed into ordinary clothes for our dinner-date, so it wasn't a "kilted first date" per se.

Several years ago I started taking pipe lessons with the local pipe band (my under-grad degree is in Music, so it wasn't that big of a leap for me) but I eventually drifted away from it. Recently I've had a desire to start up lessons again

[OC Richard]

Several years ago I started taking pipe lessons with the local pipe band (my under-grad degree is in Music, so it wasn't that big of a leap for me) but I eventually drifted away from it. Recently I've had a desire to start up lessons again

Let me offer what encouragement I can. I've been playing the pipes over 40 years now and it's been a wonderful journey.

Your musical background is, as you mention, an advantage. When I'm out playing and somebody comes up and says something like "aren't bagpipes really difficult to play?" or "I heard that bagpipes are the most difficult instrument" I tell them all musical instruments are more or less the same. I once had two students, one was an excellent pianist and the other was a mediocre guitarist. The pianist became an excellent piper and the guitarist became a mediocre one.

An old guy told me, many years ago "an instrument is merely a mechanical device. The music is in the person."

The learning curve gets steeper the older the beginner is, like in any other field. Few adult beginners get really good, the ones I know about have the following in common:

1) prior in-depth musical experience
2) fanatical dedication
3) ample practice time (these people practiced 2 to 6 hours a day)
4) excellent instruction

If that last is not to be had locally, a piper who has played in, say, a Grade One or Two pipe band and/or competed in Solos at a high level, I would turn to Skype, for example Neil Clark in the Highlands, ex-Scots Guards piper and excellent teacher.
http://www.falkirkpiping.com/

BTW bothersome for legit musicians, little bagpipe music is written how it sounds!

Sorry for the offtopic post! Well except for the fact that us pipers often meet people when kilted for gigs, which gets over the "first date kilted" problem.

[macmanjim]

Take her to a Scottish Games event. Then wearing the kilt won't be as odd if you will.