Kilted Hero in Ottawa

[Dreadbelly]

no, no, no, hard to soft, soft to hard. oh, now you've got me doing it.

So, got your point, ha. In my years as a martial arts instructor I incorporated what someone referred to as "environmental kung fu". (My style is actually a Japanese form.) The idea is that the weapons are all around.
Example: a) one of the sectarian groups in Ireland charged into a pub intent on some killing. They had automatic weapons. The patrons started throwing bottles, glasses and ashtrays at the armed men. The men retreated. (NB, if the Irish are going to waste guinness on you, you're cause is already lost.)
b) not to encourage you when you've toned down your violence so much but..frying pan to a robber. Yeah, you're already there. Peace.

I have my own fu, and trust me, it works just fine. I call it my "F*** You Up Fu." It involves a lot of applied physics and some detailed anatomy. An example. A frying pan in motion will remain in motion till forward motion is arrested by a human face. What goes up, must come down. Should my knee happen to be where a body is falling, a body in motion will disperse momentum is all sorts of interesting ways. A body in motion is a weapon. When grabbed by the hair, or other natural handles, a human being makes for an excelent blunt object, perfect for smashing other human beings. Picking a human being up by hooking two fingers in to their nostrils and grabbing them by the balls with your other hand allows them to be thrown like a paper airplane, but they clearly lack aerodynamics.

It might not be pretty, it may lack aesthetics, and fancy form, and it will never look graceful or catlike, but it is a quick and dirty way to get the job done and done right. My fighting style is my own, and is perfectly suited for my excedingly short frame, stockly build, and extremely low center of gravity.

And best of all, I learned most of what I needed to know, not by studying Bruce Lee, but by watching the Three Stooges.

[davedove]

And best of all, I learned most of what I needed to know, not by studying Bruce Lee, but by watching the Three Stooges.

That's not as funny as it sounds. Some of the things the Stooges did to each other, if they had actually done what it appeared they were doing, would be severely disabling.

[Dreadbelly]

That's not as funny as it sounds. Some of the things the Stooges did to each other, if they had actually done what it appeared they were doing, would be severely disabling.

Who said I was being funny?

All jokes aside, I grew up in projects, ghettos, reservations, all sorts of places unfit for human beings to live, yet they do. Do you really think I would be typing here today had I chose to be gentle? The only person looking out for me up to this point has been me. And that has meant fighting dirty. Not all of us are so fortunate to have civilized upbringings. Not all of us have loving fathers and mothers. Not all of us have spent our childhoods sheltered and nurtured. This is no slight on anybody here, just a sad statement on how life is. I can't say I am proud of everything I have done, but I can say I am still here.

As it's been said already so very well, the only time you find "fair" and "fight" together is in a dictionary.

[Archangel]

Musashi teaches whatever you are good at should become your martial technique. I was watching the sheep shearer at Fergus last week and somewhere through the process I started thinking I wouldn't want to fight this guy. He controlled every movement of the animal and cut its wool.
My friend from Glasgow is a master of "anawtha". Karate, Kung fu, judo, anawtha.

[davedove]

I was watching the sheep shearer at Fergus last week and somewhere through the process I started thinking I wouldn't want to fight this guy. He controlled every movement of the animal and cut its wool.

SO true! Especially not any kind of grappling! Having grown up around animals, I know how hard they can be to control if you don't know what you're doing. I imagine if that guy got ahold of you, he could pretty much make you do whatever he wanted.