Panache and the Curious Affair of the Gin and Tonic

**BobsYourUncle** · 1st August 08, 08:31 AM

“How do you do. I am Madam Pleater, Head director of the MHICE. As to what happened and how to put things right, well that shall take some explanation as Captain Panache mentioned. But as to who is responsible for the complete unraveling of the universe and negation of the entire Space/Time Continuum that’s easy... “

“It was Grant.“

To be continued.[/QUOTE]

Oh, do go on. [Chin resting on hands, shifting to the edge of his seat]

**davedove** · 1st August 08, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by Panache

“It was Grant.“

That's it! Somehow the disorder that is Grant's mind has imposed itself onto the fabric of the universe.

**McClef** · 1st August 08, 09:22 AM

I suspect that this seeming disaster was engineered after the the mind of the (*alleged*) perpetrator was affected by a surfeit of rubber chickens.

AKA "firm buttock syndrome."

However we await the evidence which will no doubt be unveiled in due course...

**Colin** · 1st August 08, 09:36 AM

more tea while we wait, Trefor?

**starbkjrus** · 1st August 08, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Panache

snip...
Arlen sobbed ...snip

A lad from Glesga?!

Reality really HAS checked out.

Originally Posted by Panache

snip...

“It was Grant.“

Oh my. A Tapioca fueled darkness has descended upon us all...

**McClef** · 1st August 08, 11:37 AM

Always up for a good cuppa Colin!

**pdcorlis** · 1st August 08, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by Panache

We sipped our of Darjeerling and nibbled on scones with lemon curd and red current jelly.

But But But... no clotted cream? Things are more dire than I suspected!

**Coemgen** · 1st August 08, 08:21 PM

Hmmm …

Reason does appear to be taking a lunch break at the moment.

**Arlen** · 2nd August 08, 08:39 AM

Oh no! Not Grant again! How will we ever make it through?

**Panache** · 10th August 08, 10:41 AM

Gentle Readers,

I sincerely apologize for the great lapse in installments of this strange tale I have been relating. My Publisher, having been contacted by Grant’s solicitors, made it known that until certain details were resolved to the satisfaction of all parties concerned they preferred that no further chapters be presented.

It is was with great pleasure that I received word from my editors at the Publishing House of XMTS this morning that indicated that all proprietary issues pertaining to Grant had been concluded to the gratification of all. Thus I may continue as long as I follow certain guidelines and instructions. These include:

That no mention be made whatsoever of the incident in the Hamilton Pub where Grant tried to persuade a young lady to perform what is commonly known in the vernacular as a “kilt check”, the fact that this person was the foremost ranked woman highland athlete in Ontario, and that she was able to score a 12:05 position when she grabbed Grant and hurled him into the muddy street.

I am also forbidden to relate the details concerning the Den Mothers of Brownie troop #134, what Grant asked of them, how they pursued Grant through the streets of Burlington, cornered him in a dark alley, and pummeled him with his own rubber chicken.

No references concerning “Bobbo the parakeet" or the sour cream will be related.*

Finally Grant has been given permission to manufacture and sell the “Grant Disguise Kit" TM: Featuring blond curly wig, vinyl molded pert buttocks prosthetic , and rhinestone tiara (Pudding and rubber chicken not included). This should be available in more disreputable toy stores for the Christmas season, much to the delight of future psychotherapists who will reap an unprecedented bounty as they try and dispel the childhood trauma induced by this product.

I hope to continue my narrative soon.

Your Humble Servant

P.