It's those closest to you who can be the biggest stumbling block.

[Riverkilt]

What other people think of me is none of my business...unless I wanna go crazy trying to outguess them.

Memories of my late mother, well into dementia but still hypercritical. I visited her wearing a kilt and was asked in a scolding tone why I was wearing "that." Just smiled and told her it was her clan tartan. Then she smiled and asked all sorts of questions about it.

Guess I was lucky to run the gauntlent of my buddies in my home group of Alcoholics Anonymous. You want some kilt comments, wear a kilt to an AA meeting where everyone knows you well....WHEW!!

Work probably took second place with a lesbian coworker the most aggressive in comments and disapproval.

After Mother, AA, and Coworkers not many kilt comments phase me. In fact, sometimes I have to catch myself so as not to seem too bored with the same old comments. And, of course thanks to this board, I have many ready responses.

Kilt acceptance isn't up to me - I've already accepted kilts. Kilt acceptance is up to others and they have the right to accept or reject them. No matter to me.

Ron

[Aggie]

My 2 cents.....life is too short to let the attitudes of others decide what style of clothes your going to wear. How you wear your clothes is a very personal expression of your own unique personality. If you decide to wear a kilt (traditional or modern)(special occasion or all the time), you will add your own little twist on it that will be totally you. Don't let others determine your personality for you.

[Mr. bone]

I'm fortunate that my wife loves me in my one and only kilt. she even gives me kiltchecks to make sure i'm "Proper"! If funding were available I think she would buy me a casual package from USAK that I've had my eye on.

My Youngest son, just shakes his head and goes along with it. He expects that I will do something out of the norm. My oldest has never seen me in it yet, and my daughter hates it.

haven't worn it to work yet, possibly at an upcominng radio function for our local foodbank. But my co-workers already think I'm weird. That's probably a plus!

[Spc. Scott]

That's a rough situation that I haven't had to go through. On the upside there is a lot of good advice and encouragement in this thread. I wish you the best of luck and that everything works out for you.

[Tommie]

Somewhere back in this thread i said "as the song goes-I hope you dance".
If you don't know what i mean than Google the lyrics to that song and see if the words apply to your life.
The first time i heard it i knew that is how i have allways been.
I never take the easy path because the harder one is usally a lot more exciting.
I never follow the crowd because more than likely where they are going i have allready been there.
And i will not wear pants just to make family or anyone else feel comfortable.
If they want comfort let them get thier own kilt.

[auld argonian]

I really only wear the kilt part time...I am not and, in my particular context, don't see much point in trying to be a full time kilt wearer. In a way, I think that this attitude has actually helped several of the folks around me accept my wearing it more readily. It has become clear to them that it's a piece of clothing...I haven't joined a cult or decided to change my gender or gone off the deep end...it's just another piece of clothing that I wear when I feel like it. I'm not getting "in their faces" nor am I trying to "stick it to the man", "make a statement" or "weird them out".

I have a couple of friends that have expressed their opinion that they don't like it so I don't wear it to any of their events. Oddly enough even though I'm not wearing it, they still ask about it..."Are you still wearing that kilt?" Yes, thank you, I do still wear it but since you seem to disapprove of it, I'm not wearing it today because I'm here at your party and I don't see any point in forcing the issue. I have obviously made the decision that their friendship is worth more than a particular item of clothing and maybe they will realize that and it will make them stop and consider what their attitude about my kilt wearing means to me.

I think that one can't gain any ground here by being petulant, stubborn, bullying or unreasonable. A reasonable person can retain their own identity without having to impose conditions on other people with whom he has relationships. "Take it or leave it" doesn't go down well with anyone, does it?

The difficulties that some of us encounter in the pursuit of our kilt wearing should teach us a larger lesson. When someone doesn't "get it", we would rather that they took the time to stop and ask us why we chose the kilt, what our reasoning was, what it means to us and how it makes us feel rather than just summarily rejecting the kilt and, by extension, rejecting us. We should only all try to remember to stop and try to ask the pertinent questions before we form an opinion.

Proceed carefully in matters of this type...there's always a way to sort these things out so that at least basic respect for the other is maintained.

Best

AA

[Tetley]

...I have a couple of friends that have expressed their opinion that they don't like it so I don't wear it to any of their events. Oddly enough even though I'm not wearing it, they still ask about it..."Are you still wearing that kilt?" Yes, thank you, I do still wear it but since you seem to disapprove of it, I'm not wearing it today because I'm here at your party and I don't see any point in forcing the issue. I have obviously made the decision that their friendship is worth more than a particular item of clothing and maybe they will realize that and it will make them stop and consider what their attitude about my kilt wearing means to me....

I have to say that while I understand what you are saying here and totally respect your point of view on the matter, personally, "I don't give a damn", to quote that famous line.

Should anyone tell me that they would rather I did not wear a kilt, or anything else, to visit them or see them or attend one of their functions, well I would interpret that as them not wishing to have me visit them. As being unable to accept me as I am. To me there are no shades of grey here, either you accept me as I am or not at all.

Harsh?

Perhaps, but there are many more people out there who will accept me for what I am without reservation to whom I can offer my friendship and receive theirs rather than the half-hearted, conditional friendship that tries to restrict the bounds of friendship.

But there again, I could well be described as a curmudgeon at the best of times

Mark

[auld argonian]

Should anyone tell me that they would rather I did not wear a kilt, or anything else, to visit them or see them or attend one of their functions, well I would interpret that as them not wishing to have me visit them. As being unable to accept me as I am. To me there are no shades of grey here, either you accept me as I am or not at all.

Mark

...well, to expand a bit on the relationship with these particular friends...I've noticed a very interesting effect going on. They are well aware that I wear the kilt to other events...some of these events are connected with other aspects of my life and involve a lot of folks who run in, shall we say, somewhat different social circles...so I'm wearing a kilt to the opening of a new wing of a museum but I'm wearing jeans to their barbeque. There appears to be a bit of jealousy creeping into their reactions to this...it's like they now assume that I'm dressing down to come to their events. I try to be a nice guy but do I enjoy this wee bit of needling that seems to have evolved here. I'm getting them to reconsider their attitude and I don't have to do or say a blessed thing.

As a professional photographer, I've made a halfway decent living out of shades of grey. Don't know if I can apply good old Ansel Adams' (another AA!) Zone System to life but I can say that mine would be a lot less interesting without the shades of grey. I could think of nothing more boring than sitting around with a whole bunch of people who thought identically to me and I'd be out a lot of great relationships that have made me laugh and broken my heart If I ruled out the shades of grey.

Maybe I look at the kilt as a sort of Rorschach Test and find the way that everyone reacts to it to be interesting.


Best

AA

[Derek Conley]

I have to say that while I understand what you are saying here and totally respect your point of view on the matter, personally, "I don't give a damn", to quote that famous line.

Haha! Bravo!

[Galb]

I do wonder if new kilt wearers wore a traditional tartan kilt,or even a modern tartan kilt,it would receive the same reaction? I suggest that a non tartan modern kilt is, sometimes, a step too far for some people to get their head around in the early stages of kilt acceptance.

This is exactly what I was going to say. When people think kilt, they think tartan. They expect to see an array of colors in a nice design. Even with me, I would never wear a solid color kilt. It does not appeal to me in the slightest. To me, a Scottish kilt is tartan material pleated. I think most people share that same outlook. That being said, there are those that have trouble accepting even the most traditional of Scottish kilts. They just don't see it as an acceptable garment unless attending a specific event where one would be worn.