Women in kilts

[Cynthia]

Well, I'll be honest. I've pretty much stopped replying to these threads. Not because I disagree with what some people have been saying about how they just simply don't agree with seeing a woman in a kilt. I do understand, I really do, and when things -- even things I disagree with (and I'm not saying I don't agree, because trust me gentlemen, I ENJOY seeing a man in a kilt especially if he's my hubby! ;) ) -- are said in a simple enough "this is my opinion" manner, I'm okay with it. I respect what is said and I will even think about it and consider what is being said.

Things were just taking on a bit of a tone that made me feel uncomfortable as a woman even though I really don't see myself as a (men's) kilt wearer although I'm sure some don't agree with my temporarily wearing a Thrifty until I get the more expensive skirts and sashes I want, not to mention I've posted about me wanting to compete at the Highland Games. I guess some might not understand how I (or others) might feel, but I was a little uncomfortable and a bit offended, wondering just how much I may have been intruding for some people.

Anyway, I do see the need for discussions and believe it or not I do enjoy seeing a lot of the differing opinions (I adore hearing from our Scottish members, for example, even if they don't say what many people want to hear).... I just don't want to see people feeling hurt, or anyone made to feel uncomfortable ,or generalizations made when the topic starts straying from the kilt to gender issues and other subjects that might set off arguments that have nothing to do with the kilt.

So no... differing opinions and discussions aren't bad... just please be careful (everyone -- this includes me, too).

I adore this board, it's been one of the best I've ever been a member of.

[DWFII]

Todd (a.k.a cajunscot) has a marvelous quote that he (and the entire Moderating Staff) here thoroughly believe in:

"Because you disagree doesn't mean you have to be disagreeable"

So you are asking is it alright to disagree here on XMTS?

The answer is...

Absolutely!

But...

You must present your thoughts in a civil, respectful, pleasant, and friendly manner.

When you debate you should try to quote sources and use "I Statements".

Then everything is Jake.

When your thoughts are presented otherwise... well then threads get pulled.... because here on XMTS we are all ladies and gentlemen.

And we will show respect for all our members.

Posts and threads that do not fit with our community and our culture are closed or pulled.

Restrictive?

yes

Old Fashioned?

absolutely!

But this construct of the computer age, this Internet forum, this amalgamation of people's thoughts and opinions from across the world, this online community whose membership includes so many different ages, religions, sexes, sexualities, races, and nationalities, is something special...

...a informative,fun, family friendly place where all gentle peoples are welcome.

Let's keep that in mind everyone!


Respectfully

Jamie

I understand and I do believe that I have kept to those standards (I have tried, at least). I absolutely agree with them and honour them.

A follow-up question if I may...

Presumably everyone who is/was participating in this discussion is/was a "volunteer." They were posting because they were interested and wanted to explore these ideas...ideas that were raised by yet other people without censure.

Additionally, not everyone has been here for years and years.

So...if a discussion is kept respectful, no ad hominem attacks, no profanity, etc....where's the harm? Who does it hurt if it goes on forever? Isn't that what a forum is for? To share ideas? To discuss, to compare, to explore other points of view?

Are some subjects or avenues of thought off limits?

Sorry, that was more than one follow-up ...all in the same vein, I trust

[Cynthia]

Questioning someone's mental health if they "cross dress" should be off limits. Whether or not you agree with it, making it sound as if they have something terribly wrong with them is too far off topic and also leads to an unfortunate situation.

Also, I have a lot of men as my best friends and many men have enjoyed my insight and conversation. I'm not the enemy and I'm not here to steal anything from anyone. I am here to research kilt information for my husband, for myself, and also to offer friendly female advice (for example, some men might be terrified of wearing a jabot -- something they might think is too frilly and feminine. I like to point out that it's quite the opposite to my eyes: VERY masculine and handsome... will those men change their opinion on a jabot? Maybe, maybe not, but at least they heard one vote for it from a woman just in case they weren't sure).

Just keep it to the kilt itself and not people/gender/sexuality/etc and I'm sure it would be okay.

[Panache]

...So...if a discussion is kept respectful, no ad hominem attacks, no profanity, etc....where's the harm? Who does it hurt if it goes on forever? Isn't that what a forum is for? To share ideas? To discuss, to compare, to explore other points of view?

Are some subjects or avenues of thought off limits?

sigh

I'm going to close this thread.

I did hope that I wouldn't have to do this a second time.

You see we have a lot of ladies that are members of this community.

We are lucky to have them.

Perhaps they belong to pipe and drum bands,

Perhaps they are Highland Athletes,

Maybe they have an interest and appreciation of their Scottish heritage,

Or maybe they enjoy the solid construction and handsome looks of the kilt.

Regardless, they are part of this community.

And we are glad to have them here!

This entire discussion is not very polite, friendly, or respectful to them.

We have had it before and nothing really comes of it , save hurt feelings.

So I am going to close it.

Everything has a price, the price of civility is sometimes silence.

Perhaps there is something we can talk about that includes everyone here on XMTS.

Respectfully

Jamie