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28th June 17, 06:42 PM
#501
Neuter your dog. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of curs.
 Originally Posted by Alan H
Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.
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The Following User Says 'Aye' to Mikilt For This Useful Post:
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29th June 17, 02:06 PM
#502
"Pound of curs.." What's it called when you've got a pun in a pun? Kind of like breaking the fourth wall in films. Well done. 
JMB
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The Following 3 Users say 'Aye' to Blupiper For This Useful Post:
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1st July 17, 04:25 PM
#503
A friend of mine stubbed her toe today. I tried to console her.
(Name changed to protect the punned upon)
Where does Susan bathe?
In the stub
What does Susan drive?
A toe truck
What does Susan wear when she dances?
A toe-toe
There is a book about Susan's toes. It's very well red
Susan really gets a kick out of her furniture
Originally Posted by Alan H
Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.
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The Following User Says 'Aye' to Mikilt For This Useful Post:
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1st July 17, 05:51 PM
#504
I can't remember if this is a repeat. It doesn't show up when I search
A guy I know got fired from his job as a beekeeper. He got fired because he'd space out and walk away from the hives. He was a daydream bee leaver.
Originally Posted by Alan H
Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.
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The Following 2 Users say 'Aye' to Mikilt For This Useful Post:
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4th July 17, 09:20 AM
#505
Hear about the mortician? His car blew a casket on the way to work. Later that day, he died from a coffin fit.
(I know. This subject is a little grave. Maybe I should let it rest.)
"Life may have its problems, but it is the best thing they have come up with so far." Neil Simon, Last of the Red Hot Lovers, Act 3. "Ob la di, Ob la da. Life goes on. Braaa. La la how the life goes on." Beatles
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The Following 2 Users say 'Aye' to kiltedtom For This Useful Post:
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4th July 17, 10:14 AM
#506
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail
Originally Posted by Alan H
Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.
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The Following 2 Users say 'Aye' to Mikilt For This Useful Post:
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4th July 17, 10:41 AM
#507
To boldly expectorate is a spit infinitive
Originally Posted by Alan H
Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.
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The Following User Says 'Aye' to Mikilt For This Useful Post:
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4th July 17, 10:58 AM
#508
Originally Posted by kiltedtom
Hear about the mortician? His car blew a casket on the way to work. Later that day, he died from a coffin fit.
(I know. This subject is a little grave. Maybe I should let it rest.)
Maybe he wouldn't have blown a casket if he re-hearsed more often
Originally Posted by Alan H
Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.
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5th July 17, 09:58 AM
#509
Our local mortuary is offering a new prepaid funeral package. They call it their layaway plan. They have a casket selection that is to die for.
" Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly." - Mae West -
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The Following User Says 'Aye' to MNlad For This Useful Post:
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5th July 17, 10:04 AM
#510
Originally Posted by MNlad
Our local mortuary is offering a new prepaid funeral package. They call it their layaway plan. They have a casket selection that is to die for.
If you are lactose intolerant, you shouldn't choose creamation
Last edited by Mikilt; 5th July 17 at 10:10 AM.
Originally Posted by Alan H
Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.
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The Following User Says 'Aye' to Mikilt For This Useful Post:
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