Your worst puns

**Mikilt** · 5th July 17, 11:54 AM

There was a Jedi named Tring and while he was training, he played ukulele. He was told, "Use the force, Tring"

**MNlad** · 5th July 17, 02:54 PM

If you are lactose intolerant, you shouldn't choose creamation

The Afterburner Funeral Chapel is currently offering a two-for-one special. For the cost of one service, they will take care of both you and your cremate.

**cupojava1** · 5th July 17, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by Tarheel

I ran out of the backdoor (without my glasses on) and fell into the cistern. I should have realized that I can't see that well.

It's a good thing you didn't back into that lens grinder. You could have mad a spectacle of yourself.

**Taskr** · 6th July 17, 01:26 PM

The local coal digger of short stature and terrible disposition was well known in the community. Not many cared to associate with teeny meanie miner Moe.

**Mikilt** · 11th July 17, 03:22 PM

Hoover am I make dam puns? I Mead, I'd better Coulee it.

My, my... Three Gorges puns in a row.

**kiltedtom** · 12th July 17, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by Mikilt

Hoover am I make dam puns? I Mead, I'd better Coulee it.My, my... Three Gorges puns in a row.

Let's face it. Vacuum puns just suck.

**Mikilt** · 14th July 17, 01:15 PM

The conductor said to the band, "Okay everybody! One, two, three, one, two, three"

I said, "Hey, you can't just waltz in here and tell us to play 3/4 time"

**Mikilt** · 14th July 17, 03:32 PM

Some of these have been seen in this thread before. I borrowed them because they kind of fit.

Oh lowly pun
How I love thee
A camel with no hump
Is called Humphrey

Oh lowly pun
We do extoll
Driving highways
Takes its toll

Oh lowly pun
You make some groan
Gimme money
And leave me a loan

Oh lowly pun
You are first rate
Shredded cheese
Is really grate

Oh lowly pun
You are my friend
You get karma
Now and Zen

Oh lowly pun
You are just right for me
The ghost with the big butt
Had quite a booty

O lowly pun
You are just the best
How many people at the party?
No one could have guest

Oh lowly pun
Beautiful and sublime
The guy addicted to brake fluid
Said he could stop anytime

Oh lowly pun
You bring me such joy
Mama stood on the beach
To keep an eye on her buoys

Oh lowly pun
To you I’ll always stoop
The car driving pigeons
Flew the coupe

Oh lowly pun
I take you as a sign
I was going to get a brain transplant
But I changed my mind

Oh lowly pun
I ne’er take you for granted
I thought much about gardening
Once the idea was planted

Oh lowly pun
You I’d never shun
The angry bread in the oven
Was a hot cross bun

Oh lowly pun
You bring such elation
Noblemen pilots
Did a fly-by-knight operation

Oh lowly pun
The hour is now nigh
It’s time I advertised a sale
And finally say “Good Buy”