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Thread: Your worst puns

  1. #521
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    I went to see an optometrist the other day because it seems my eyes are failing. The doc. didn't seem to be too concerned and sent me on my way. Last time I visit a place called C.F. Eyecare.
    " Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly." - Mae West -

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  3. #522
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    The middle class sailed the bourgeoisie .
    Last edited by Mikilt; 17th July 17 at 05:09 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  5. #523
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    The new gentlemen's club situated near town had locals who partook sneaking out on the one road toward it, which the local Pastor dubbed "the route to all evils".

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  7. #524
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    Conversations with my girlfriend are always one-sided. But I don't care because she's spatial to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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  9. #525
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikilt View Post
    Conversations with my girlfriend are always one-sided. But I don't care because she's spatial to me.
    I felt spatial once. Someone pointed out I was not. I was beside myself in disappointment.

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  11. #526
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taskr View Post
    The new gentlemen's club situated near town had locals who partook sneaking out on the one road toward it, which the local Pastor dubbed "the route to all evils".
    As opposed to the imitator shows in Las Vegas, the route to all Elvis.


    JMB

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  13. #527
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    Tubie, the puppy, was having quite the time being house broken but his littermate wasn't perfect either. Which, on coming home to a little mess often had the owners wonder; Tubie or not Tubie?

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  15. #528
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taskr View Post
    Tubie, the puppy, was having quite the time being house broken but his littermate wasn't perfect either. Which, on coming home to a little mess often had the owners wonder; Tubie or not Tubie?

    A friend of mine is a fisherman. He got a job where he could scale to new heights. After a few days, he decided he was finished.
    "Life may have its problems, but it is the best thing they have come up with so far." Neil Simon, Last of the Red Hot Lovers, Act 3. "Ob la di, Ob la da. Life goes on. Braaa. La la how the life goes on." Beatles

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  17. #529
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    A fisherman is someone who is reel good at telling tall tails.
    " Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly." - Mae West -

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  19. #530
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    Quote Originally Posted by MNlad View Post
    A fisherman is someone who is reel good at telling tall tails.
    And also fish sceals.

    (For those who aren't aware, "sceal" is the Gaelic for "story" and is pronounced similarly to "scale")
    Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
    Some days you're the bat, some days you're the watermelon.

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