Let the Pun begin!

[Big Mikey]

If an eskimo sits on the ice too long does he get polaroids?

[Ozman1944]

The Dyslectic Atheist;;;
Doesn't believe in Dog..........

[Ozark Ridge Rider]

The Dyslectic Atheist;;;
Doesn't believe in Dog..........

You left the rest of it off: The dyslectic atheist who was afflicted with insomnia. He used to lay awake nights wondering if there is a dog.

[BEEDEE]

From the movie Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (though the punchline is a lot older):

Captain Aubrey: "Do you see those two weevils, Doctor?...Which would you choose?"
Dr. Maturin: "Neither. There's not a scrap of difference between them. They're the same species of Curculio."
Captain Aubrey: "If you had to choose. If you were forced to make a choice. If there were no other option."
Dr. Maturin: "Well, then, if you're going to push me. I would choose the right-hand weevil. It has significant advantage in both length and breadth."
Captain Aubrey: "There, I have you!...Do you not know that in the Service, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?"




Then there was the dictator who wanted to conquer the world, but was delayed while counting the feet of his soldiers. His was a toe-tally tarrying regime.

[LANCER1562]

Confucius say "Duck who fly upsidedown have quack up".

[FinsUp]

Did you hear about the Midget psychic who ran from the cops?
Now they are looking for a small medium at large.

[Oldhiker]

Did you hear about the Midget psychic who ran from the cops?
Now they are looking for a small medium at large.

groan... I like it

[Jaggy thistle]

A Scotsman is visiting USA goes to a Indian reservations sees this sign(wisest Indian in world ask him anything if he cannot answer you win 20 dollars)so he pays his dollar and asks who scored the winning /goal in the 1989 Scottish cup final ? Ally Macoist said the Indian Scotsman goes awyay shaking his head his wee money making scheme wrecked . He is back in USA 5 years later sees the same sign , he wonders if the Indian will remember him so he goes up to the Indian with his hand raised and says how . The Indian says Diving header !!

[Kilted_John]

Confucious say "man who runs from car will get tired."

[BEEDEE]

...........and always remember that A DAY WITHOUT PUNS IS LIKE A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE, THERE'S GLOOM FOR IMPROVEMENT!

Brian