Wife does not like me in a kilt

[Downunder Kilt]

There is a reason why Horace Rumpole refered to his wife as "she that must be obeyed" and you better believe it

[CDNSushi]

Seeing the photos, I really can't see why anyone would say you looked like a dork. The kilts may hang a little long, but clearly you're already keenly aware of that fact -- after alterations, I'm sure both outfits look amazing... But anyway, I think I may have an idea as to what's going on with the criticism from the wife.

My own wife (even though she fully supports my choice of kilted attire) knows that I can be a very stubborn and determined man, and if I get an idea into my head it can be very difficult to dislodge it... I suspect that one major objection that some women may have with their men wearing kilts, is the fear that it will become the ONLY attire they will ever wear henceforth. This may even be a reasonable fear because I also own T-shirts and underwear that are literally 20 years old that I will refuse to throw out...

Anyway, my point is this. Perhaps it would go a long ways if you were to assure your wife that your new-found interest and hobby in no way changes who you are, and that it doesn't mean that you'll all of a sudden start wearing your kilt 24/7, swilling scotch and learning the bagpipes (even if you DO want to do all those things)... See if you can make some kind of compromise with your wife regarding when/where/how often she can expect you to wear your kilt... Once that has been established, I suspect that things may proceed a little smoother. Also, once she gets used to the idea, if you need to change the original compromise, it will likely be much easier to do at that point.

[triumph]

CDNSushi; I do have a set of bagpipes, very much an amateur. I have also done my family genealogy from Scotland. This Kilting is something I guess will just take time and I hope she will come around. As to going someplace local where kilts are worn, there just is not any place close within a 100 miles. Thank you all for your words of wisdom

[The Wizard of BC]

f150k,

You have received quite a few responses. Some tongue in cheek, some sincere and some bordering on rude and intrusive.

But I was talking to my wife about this. She is a very smart women. Her comment to me was that from a woman's standpoint it may not be that she does not like you in a kilt.
It may be that she is feeling protective and does not want others to think bad of you. She may be afraid of what others may say or think so gives you the impression that it is her disapproving.

As some others have said. If it is possible, find a place where there are others in kilts. Once she sees that you are not the only one she may relax the "protect him from harm" attitude.

But in the end this really is something you need to talk to her about. I'm afraid that an on-line forum will just make matters worse. Forums don't make good "Dear Abby's" as you can see from some of the replies.

[Bill aka Mole]

I've only been wearing kilts for the last 8 months, and not full time. If you'd like to see what a dork looks like in a kilt, please ensure that those who may have a weak stomach do not look and that you remove all food and beverage from your computer area before you look here: Dork in kilt.

I'll be here all week, try the veal! Cheers!

[BroosterB1]

Hummm....maybe a new thread "Dork in Kilt" Pics I'm sure a have a few that qualify.

as to the OP, maybe your wife is just boring? Boring folk do not suffer us dorks well. Embrace the inner dork... least you are not wearing a pocket protector or your Ed Hardy jeans around your knees....

[MacBean]

I am new to kilting, we are on vacation and I thought or hopped that I could try wearing my kilts. My wife is not very enthused with my kilting, she said I look like a Dork and made a crack about cross dressing, so unless I go to Celtic Games by myself, I not sure but I think my kilting days have been short.

First off, you have some nice kit there; well done! I'd agree with other comments about simplifying a bit (no bonnet, get different hose). The next more difficult bit can be deciding when and when not to wear which pieces. The doublet, though lovely, is really very formal for most occasions in the USA (if that's where you are).

For me, I tried wearing a kilt first at our Christmas dinner. The festivity of the occasion made it flow more easily. Vacation? I wouldn't wear it then myself. As for the dorkishness, there's an element of truth in that I think, but if you wish to wear the kilt, I think you have to get past that. I think the vast majority of people think kilts look very fine; it's probably just a question of getting used to it, and picking the right occasion to get her used to it.

Ever consider taking her to Scotland? (not to wear the kilt, but just to gain an affinity).

[Teufel Hunden]

My wife is not very enthused with my kilting, she said I look like a Dork and made a crack about cross dressing

I can understand women not liking a man in a kilt (though it is only the rare 3% of women who are this way), as it's just a matter of personal preference. I liken it to the non-kilt outfits my fiancee doesn't like to see me in.

But the cross dressing crack, I always wonder about people who say things like that. Have they never heard of an entire country called Scotland? Never seen various movies involving LOTS of kilt wearing, specifically Rob Roy and the like? Did they sit through those films thinking, "Man, bunch of cross dressers in this movie...." Ignorance annoys me quickly and easily.

I do have a question I hope you don't mind, how did this never come up before in 44 years of being married? Were you always interested in highland wear and just never got around to it, or was it a recent thing? I always wonder that when these types of threads come up.

In my experience (girlfriend, not wife) it matters quite a bit what type of kilt and how I wear it:

- My lass doesn't much care for modern kilts (Utilikilt et al.).

Mine is the same way. She'd rather I be in at least smart casual, with the very minimum being a polo shirt. Modern solid color kilts, especially leather ones, are almost completely unacceptable to her. I don't particularly care for them either, so it works out.

[thescot]

One other note: arguing logic and reason with a woman is not usually very productive. Women are by nature more emotional than men, and this whole thing is definitely emotion-laden. While my wife likes kilts, she only wants me to wear one at Scottish events. Heck, it would take me several years to work through my wardrobe like that!

On the other hand, while watching Celtic Thunder on tv the other night, she did mention--again--that she liked the "dressed down" look for lack of a better term. The guitar player had a black jacobite shirt, dark hose, and boots. I don't have a jacobite shirt anymore, but I have determined to wear a much more casual outfit soon just to please her. She said I tended to dress like an "old man," what with the tweeds and dressy stuff. I draw the line at pushed bown socks, but I have been known to wear hiking boots, so I may just buy a new pair of ankle boots and try out a different shirt or sweater.

Can't hurt.

And yeah, Todd, the aviators are always cool!

[Sharkman]

I'm sorry to hear that your wife isn't too happy about your wanting to wear the kilt. they look great as far as I'm concerned.

I have to say that my girlfriend has told me she won't go out with me if I'm kilted and although I'm bothered by that a little it will not stop me wearing the kilt.

I long ago quit caring too terribly much what other people think about what I'm wearing or doing. I suppose I may have cared a bit when I was younger, but I've been following my own tune for decades.

As a matter of fact this Saturday here in San Diego at Balboa Park they are celebrating Tartan Day and it is being sponsored by the House of Scotland located in the park and I will be going there kilted for the first time and representing Clan Campbell!!
I'm encouraging all of my local kilted brothers from X-Marks to meet me there. I'll be wearing the Black Watch Kilt, white Clan Campbell t-shirt and tan Marine Corps Baseball Cap. Well, maybe I'll wear my Balmoral, anyway I will be having some pictures to post afterwards.

The Highland Games will be here in June in Vista, Ca and I'll be there helping out at the Clan Campbell tent, so stop by and say hi if you are going.