advice for a funeral...

[cryerelizabeth]

I have a funeral to go to in a few days, and I don't have anything decent to wear other than my kilt. I was wondering if any of you xmts'rs out there have any advice as to what I should wear with my kilt. It's not going to be an increadibly formal funeral.

[Jay]

Honestly, don't wear the kilt. Within 10 seconds of your arrival it will be all about you. I know this isn't your intent but, unfortunately, this is the outcome.

Basic dress pants can be picked up at Target or Walmart for $20. Add a tie to your existing collared shirt and you are funeral ready.

[cryerelizabeth]

ok, but I'm not planning on having a really flashy kilt outfit

[Zardoz]

yeah it's an important event, so don't wear your best!
Nothing says "I care" like some 20 dollar slacks from Walmat

[robthehiker]

Honestly, don't wear the kilt. Within 10 seconds of your arrival it will be all about you. I know this isn't your intent but, unfortunately, this is the outcome.

Basic dress pants can be picked up at Target or Walmart for $20. Add a tie to your existing collared shirt and you are funeral ready.

I don't think a woman wearing a kilt would attract the attention that a man wearing one would.

[Zardoz]

I don't think a woman wearing a kilt would attract the attention that a man wearing one would.

Good point there!

I have unfortunatly had to attend a few funerals since I started wearing the kilt pretty much full time, usually just as a viewer, but I've spoken at one, and was a pallbearer once. I have never felt that my clothing was a 'distraction'. Everyone I know expects me to be kilted, and since I rarely attend the funerals of strangers, most folks are not suprised to see it.

My Dad always says the the only required clothing at funerals is a white shirt and dark tie.

[Tobus]

This is just my personal opinion, but for a female, any skirt as short as a kilt would be inappropriate for the solemnity of a funeral.

A plain-coloured dress or skirt/blouse (below the knees) is more appropriate. Ankle-length is even better, especially since it's winter. And I know it's terribly old-fashioned to modern women, but I would even encourage black leggings or pantyhose beneath the skirt.

IMHO, it doesn't matter if it's cheap or not; what matters is that it's respectful and subdued. A funeral is really not the place for sporting tartan or bright colours, bare knees, etc. (unless you're a piper, or there was a specific request for you to appear kilted).

But then again, that's just my opinion, and I'm sure the manner of dress will vary by location, local culture, family, religion (if applicable), etc. But consider this: you'll never stir up trouble by dressing too plainly or conservatively at a funeral. You may, on the other hand, stir up trouble by dressing too loudly or inappropriately.

[McMurdo]

I have experience with kilt wearing to a funeral. A few years ago a friend from work lost his wife. I wore my kilt to both the viewing and the funeral. He was glad that I had worn my kilt and her family who had flown in from Scotland the morning of the funeral were very happy to see a gent in a kilt and said she would have loved it.

That being said I think it is a very personal thing and if you wish to wear the kilt just ensure you are wearing it for the correct reasons and in the correct level of formality. This is a similar outfit to the one I wore:



This is what I wore to my Uncle's memorial service a few years ago:



I think if you are wearing the kilt to a funeral wearing a jacket and tie is appropriate. If you feel like taking off the jacket once you arrive then you can always do that, however I feel that an outfit that is taken down a level of formaility does not do any service to the family, to the general public's conception of kilt wearers or to the departed. So I would be careful about how I choose to dress up the kilt if I were to wear it to a funeral. Another thing to consider is how colourful you want to be. I went rather subdued in both cases, however for some cases you could go more colourful, it all depends on the funeral and who it's for etc.

[cryerelizabeth]

I'll see if I can put something together.

[Chas]

This question (or very similar) comes up every few months. And I will say the same thing, as I have said in the past:

You can't wear what you haven't got.

At a wedding where there could be 6, 9, maybe 12 months to plan or save money for a new outfit. Whereas a funeral is a week, 10 days, three weeks tops. There might be no time or money to buy something new and special.

I have seen men, who had been picking strawberries, walk off the fields with mud on their boots and their knees and their hands and follow the hearse. Each and every one of them was no less respectful when they stood in church to mourn a dead collogue as was the Mayor stood beside them in his robes and chain of office.

It is the attitude you wear that makes the difference, not the clothes.

Regards

Chas