Cheese? A soap menagerie? Flamboyant choices in handbags? Dice humor?
Mickey, you are so my people!

Great stor(ies)!!!

My TSA experience in January:
Well, I like to experiment with hair dye and hair cuts so I don't look much like my drivers license, which started the red flag.
Then my travel companion Julie had some sort of internal implant that set off the machine.
I didn't pack my liquids correctly, bag searched, then I did. NOW I understand why they offer the private room for the pat down. It was a groping that would have gone beyond any of the kilt checks from that earlier post. Afterward, I had a martini while basking in the afterglow (granted, I would have had one anyway, but I digress).
Anywho, flying, good times!