Why Do Some Take Such Offense...

[The Volusianator]

After all, no matter how much someone else tries, an offense cannot be taken unless one takes it.

We have a bingo!

[Macman]

Interesting thread. My own $.02 (and experience) though is that some people are actually giving me a compliment when they say: "nice skirt." They actually don't know that it's called a "kilt" so I don't take offense. That has taught me to always say "Thank you" when anyone makes the remark, regardless of their intentions. After all, no matter how much someone else tries, an offense cannot be taken unless one takes it. Saying "Thank you" is just being appreciative of someone who is actually giving you a compliment and a move in psychological judo for anyone who isn't.

That's my take on it too. We have a lot of tourists in our city, and every time I've been told I'm wearing a nice skirt by someone who is obviously a visitor, it's genuine. Any other time, I've taken it to be gentle ribbing, and I respond "Thanks!" in both cases.

[Bugbear]

Speaking as an ignorant person who has gotten on many people's nerves by saying "the wrong thing," I can imagine how someone might feel; receiving an angry or gruff reply to a misstated complement. Worse, someone taking my complement as a challenge to their manliness; that one kind of scares me a little.

I'm glad that many have said they would take the time to explain that it is a kilt, or simply take it as a compliment in many situations.

[Father Bill]

Speaking as an ignorant person who has gotten on many people's nerves by saying "the wrong thing," I can imagine how someone might feel; receiving an angry or gruff reply to a misstated complement. Worse, someone taking my complement as a challenge to their manliness; that one kind of scares me a little.

I'm glad that many have said they would take the time to explain that it is a kilt, or simply take it as a compliment in many situations.

Bug - I've read your stuff. There's nothing ignorant about you except like all of us in the honest sense of not knowing everything. The boors are the ones who think they do.

Always your friend,

Bill+

[Bugbear]

Bug - I've read your stuff. There's nothing ignorant about you except like all of us in the honest sense of not knowing everything. The boors are the ones who think they do.

Always your friend,

Bill+

Thanks, Father Bill.

[Mike_Oettle]

For the record, the Afrikaans dictionary gives Skotse rokkie as the equivalent of kilt. (A rok is a dress, and a rokkie (diminutive form) is a skirt. Another word for skirt is romp.)
But the growing kilt-wearing community in South Africa is working hard to encourage the use of the word kilt in Afrikaans. Quite a number of kilt wearers (especially of the more modern variety of kilt) are Afrikaans-speaking.
The pipes, incidentally, are called a doedelsak (almost the same as in German). I quite often have to respond that I don’t play the instrument.
If someone passes a remark about my “skirt”, my response depends entirely on how it was (apparently) intended. Most of the time I either just smile and say “Thank you,” or say: “It’s called a kilt.”
Only once have I walked into a supermarket and overheard a heated discussion about whether a man can wear a rok – it was in a part of town where kilts are rarely, if ever, seen, and the upstanding sector of the community is seriously concerned about moffies (homosexuals). Nobody actually confronted me, and I got a nice smile from the cashier.
A few women have voiced strenuous objections (including my daugher and her mother-in-law), but nobody has outright told me there is anything indecent about wearing a kilt.
I get a lot of smiles – sometimes that embarrasses my wife, but she can just deal with it.
Regards,
Mike

[Peter Crowe]

When the uneducated refer to a kilt as a skirt? I just started wearing kilts myself, just in the past couple months and honestly could care less if someone refers to it as a skirt, I know the difference and to me, that's all that matters.

Now maybe some of you with Scottish/Irish heritage that runs deep feel differently, just giving my .02.

Context is everything Volusianator!

For me to feel myself offended, I would have to believe that was the intention of the comment or question.

However, when you have worn the Kilt as long as I have, since the age of three (going on 42 years) and heard the intended affronts about cross-dressing (especially during childhood and adolescence as children are less sensitive to the feelings of others than adults) it can get old quickly.

I will always patiently inform and educate when someone apparently doesn't know that it is the traditional national dress of Scotland for men. While I am not so chauvinistic to believe every adult in the Anglo-sphere should have detailed knowledge about Scotland's culture, it is not too much to expect that that they know the kilt (especially when it is usually worn with otherwise male clothes) is a man's garment distinct from a woman's skirt.

Sometimes though when someone is trying to put me down or malign me for wearing the kilt, it feels like more than a personal insult, it is an attack on my homeland and ethnicity, and no more acceptable than any other form of prejudice or racist epithet.

Often I will try and ignore it, but sometimes I will feel indignant and respond accordingly.

[The Volusianator]

Gradatim Vincemus, thank you very much for your thoughts. No matter what side of the topic you fall, I can appreciate your feelings. It's been well documented the kilt thing is very new to me, it's not in my lineage at all, I truly just enjoy wearing them. I can see how over the years the questions would wear on you. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Wade

[Peter Crowe]

Gradatim Vincemus, thank you very much for your thoughts. No matter what side of the topic you fall, I can appreciate your feelings. It's been well documented the kilt thing is very new to me, it's not in my lineage at all, I truly just enjoy wearing them. I can see how over the years the questions would wear on you. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Wade

No problem Wade! My previous comments notwithstanding I have had more positive than negative experiences wearing the Kilt. I hope you have as much fun with it as I have

Peter

[Peter Crowe]

Some smart @rse once asked me what the difference was between a kilt and a skirt in an attempt to rile me and impress his wife and teenage kids, he shot off with his tail between his legs when I replied about 7 yards and a pair of balls to wear it.

Couldn't put it any better myself Redshank. Well said sir!