Wedding advice

[ForresterModern]

First of all, what color are the bridesmaids' dresses going to be?
Second, if you insist on having them match with a color of your kilt, and that you will be designing your tartan yourself with that in mind, I would recommend that the bridesmaids' dress color be an accent color in your tartan kilt rather than the main color, just for some variety of color on the dais at the reception and in the wedding pictures.
Third, you may need to realize that if you design your own tartan, have to pay the premium to get a minimum woven and then made into a kilt, that kilt may cost nearly as much as your wife's wedding dress, and then you have to add in the cost of the PC or Argyll, etc... rental or purchase.
Fourth, if you are going to order a run of custom designed tartan you are going to have to leave enough lead time for the weaver (likely Dalgleish) to get it through their backlogged queue of similar special orders, then get through the queue of the kilt maker and back to you, something which could take 6 months to a year or maybe longer, depending on a lot of variables.
Lastly, as others have mentioned, do you really plan on wearing this wedding kilt (expensive proposition and a lot of work) at any other times in your life? Are you a new or established kiltwearer?


I am just wondering if all of these factors have been considered before committing to custom design your own tartan for your wedding kilt to match your bridesmaids dresses----not to slight the importance of your wedding, and having everything just so for your eternal love, to me it seems like a long run for a pretty short slide, especially if you do not plan on wearing it frequently for the following years (til your body habitus changes, which it will eventually). As others have said I would get the color of the dresses then try to find an existing and relatively available tartan that has some significance to you and also has color similar to that in the dresses, and have the kilt made out of something easier and less expensive to acquire and that, because you have made the effort to find a relationship to the tartan, you will be more likely to wear. Or at least not feel so bad if it languishes in the back of your closet unworn, because you did not drop a big dime in having it made just for the wedding.

One man's O. Good luck with the wedding plans.

jeff

[MacLowlife]

1) Brides in some places know and expect that men in the wedding party will wear something to coordinate, such as vests, ties, cummerbunds, maybe even colored jackets.
2) Chances are very good that an existing tartan will match the colors she has chosen. If you look beyond registered clan tartans to district and fashion tartans, your choices will be even greater.
3) Making your kilt will be a big deal- assuming you are going to bespeak a traditional kilt- and ordering a custom run of tartan will complicate it by several orders of magnitude. Are you a stock size or close to one? Has someone told you about the many sources of kilts made to stock sizes?
4) This is the most important thing. You have come to a kilt site. While many people here immediately understand the wedding colors idea and many share your desire to make someone happy by wearing a tartan designed just for your wedding, the one thing we ALL agree on is that a kilt ought to be a comfortable garment, not some costume that you will wear stiffly and awkwardly. In order to make sure of that, it is probably good to get a kilt as soon as possible. Whether or not that is the kilt you will be married in is less important. It is the kilt you will learn to wear a kilt in. You will learn about admiring looks, swish and swing, and where your kilt-waist is.

Last, GOOD LUCK. Be patient, loving, kind, adventurous, and dependable, and be patient some more.

[room2ndfloor]

Search yielded no similar question so here goes:
Future Wife and Family have requested I wear a kilt at my wedding. Undecided at first, I'm going along because I think it will be classy and relevant to our Celtic heritage (also highland pipes are a big part of me).
I will be designing my own tartan. I will not be asking my groomsmen to wear kilts.
The only problem is that my wife would like the main color of my kilt to match her bridesmaids colors.
I find this a little perplexing as I don't think the groom should be matching the bridesmaids colors in any other wedding setting. I can't find any photos of wedding parties where this is done. Is it acceptable or is it reducing the kilt to a 'dress' item? Or am I over thinking this?

Thanks in advance for any constructive advice.
-c

**************************************************

Designing your own tartan? That's going to be a lot of work, time, and expense. You must be planning a long engagement, dear friend.

Speaking as one who has processed a truckload of wool from the sheep's back all the way into bridal bedspreads, I appreciate the creative challenge of designing a tartan for your own kilt. It seems to me that a personal tartan is an impressive expression of your individuality, rather than homage to your Celtic heritage.

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't find it fitting for the groom's kilt to match the bridesmaid's dresses. It's downright emasculating, playing Ken to her Barbie. The reverse would be fine by me; that is, if your lady chose a couple of the colors in your kilt, and outfitted her bridesmaids in those colors.

Your mileage may vary.....................

[Baldybrown]

Giving a groom advice about his wedding attire is one of the more useless occupations of a fool. So here's my advice, Look your bride-to-be in her beautiful eyes and with a firm chin, and stern voice say, "Yes dear." This comes from a man who's been married for almost forty years. When you've been married for forty years, you'll look back on this moment and thank me. (course, I'll be dead so I won't give a $h@t!)

[CMcG]

<snip>
I will be designing my own tartan.

...

The only problem is that my wife would like the main color of my kilt to match her bridesmaids colors.
I find this a little perplexing as I don't think the groom should be matching the bridesmaids colors in any other wedding setting. I can't find any photos of wedding parties where this is done. Is it acceptable or is it reducing the kilt to a 'dress' item? Or am I over thinking this?

Let's start with the designing your own tartan thing. I've done it and it's a lot of fun. It's also a lot of work... not to mention the time involved from concept to to custom weave. Leave yourself more time than you think you need with that one.

If your wife "would like" your kilt to match the bridesmaids' colours and you don't think it should, then you need to negotiate that one carefully. When a bride is adamant about something then only a fool would say no. But if she is merely suggesting that, then you could discuss it with her and perhaps offer to match your flashes and tie, or your vest instead.

I've never seen photos of a wedding party where the man's kilt matched the bridesmaids' dresses. Traditionally, I don't think that would be acceptable. Personally, I would be wearing my clan tartan or an appropriate district tartan, but my lass is gung ho for tartan and would want the same thing.

[MacLowlife]

Those of you who have never done so may need a bracing drink first, but googling "match colors groomsmen" is like turning over a really big rock. Very quickly "color of dress" evolves into "your colors". This is not something the average man has been brought up to expect, much less understand or embrace. In some parts of the world, it remains pretty foreign, but in the land of the Wedding Industrial Complex, no detail is too small and no masculine allegiance too important once She starts thinking.

But The OP specified Constructive Advice and I believe patience and acquiescence are crucial. After that, more acquiescence.

Are any gay X Markers planning weddings or recently married? Did both parties wear kilts? either, neither? At the risk of sounding like the ignorant buffoon I am, do most gay weddings feature attendants? You may not cure my buffoonery, but you can help my ignorance.

I have seen one wedding that included a "bride's dude", along with her bridesmaids. He was somehow distinguished from the groomsmen, but I forget how.

[Downunder Kilt]

As many have said, to design a tartan, have it custom woven, then made into a kilt, takes time, I have had several custom weaves done and minimum time has been 3 months, then the kilt maker, just short of two months. And that was me not even having to design the tartan. Having been down the wedding road twice, I know how many times a bride can change her mind on things like colours. I would hate to see you design and commision a tartan, then two or three months down the track, the colour scheme of the wedding party changes. Be very, very careful.

There are a lot of tartans already out there, so have a careful look around, before going the most expensive route. As a poster said, talk with your betrothed and see if you can work something out with existing stock tartans.

[AFS1970]

When I got married 18 years ago, I wore my own tartan which has light green as the dominant color. The Bride's Maids wore Kelly Green dresses, and the Groom's Men wore ties and cummerbunds to match that color. As I was in a kilt, I did not wear a cummerbund, but I did forgo the traditional black tie and wear the Kelly Green one. I also wore Kelly Green flashes to match.

Now, I think the only reason this worked was because my tartan is a green one, but there was no specific effort to match either to the other.

[pascs]

I do agree with what others have said above. There are certainly so many existing tartans that you should be able to find one that would match in with any colours you chose, or using a tartan to give the colour palette for others to wear.
Sort of depends if you have the intention of wearing the kilt again or if its just going to be a one off. But designing your own tartan would be something very special.

From Scotweb's website it quotes about $1000 for a custom weave kilt and about 3-4 months to have it made. And my brother was quoted less than that by his local kilt maker for a custom design that he's planning to have made.

For my son's 21st we bought him a kilt from a good quality kilt shop in Scotland in our family tartan. The kilt itself cost about $600 and took 3 months to have made, the time scale was mainly due to the huge demand over the summertime for kilts.

Considering the cost involved with a wedding, I dont see the extra cost for a custom designed kilt being that huge an amount more than standard. Obviously there are much cheaper options if buying or hiring a kilt in an existing tartan.

I think if you took an existing tartan and made some colour changes then you'd have a very unique tartan which would have great significance to you.

[Meggers]

4. When in doubt, it is the bride's day, not anyone else's.

In this particular case, I sort of disagree here.

I know grooms want to keep the peace but, my goodness, since when did the wedding day become the day when only the bride makes important choices? I understand keeping the peace but a wedding is for TWO people--not just the bride.

I say sit down with your wife-to-be and perhaps, IF YOU WANT to use your clan tartan or a tartan that has meaning to you, then gently voice that to her. If the bridesmaids dresses are already chosen and the color is picked, then perhaps it's too late, but if not, then the bride should be open to your suggestions.

remember, IT IS YOUR DAY TOO!!!! Not just hers. Wedding decisions should be made together. Im sure your future wife loves you a lot (why else would she be marrying you!?) and would be willing to sit with you and at least come to a happy medium. If you are ok with matching the bridesmaids, then go for it! But if it makes you uncomfortable, you should try to find a way where it suits you too. It's your day as well.