Non Kilted Airport Fun

[Sammac]

Now, what color hose would go with that?

[Mickey]

The Hello Kitty would go so nicely with the wallpaper I set on his phone...

To explain further, about two weeks ago my phone started beeping at me at a regular interval. I couldn't figure it out (my phone apparently will make waffles if I set it to do so, but all I do is an occasional call and texting.. it confounds me). So without really thinking it through (it was morning and I wasn't at my peak performance) I asked for help on facebook. Her people advised me to try google... DUH. Problem was solved.

So, armed with yet more knowledge that when it comes to my phone, I'm a moron, she set my wallpaper to Hello Kitty, and changed my ringtones, knowing that I'm too stupid to figure out how to change them, and too lazy to just read the owners manual. She's a real wit. Good thing that I have very little pride or self respect!

As far as hose... I'm torn between my purple and claret Lewis. I thing perhaps the purple would be best, should I ever wander around with this laptop case... (That would be never again!!) lol

[kc8ufv]

Try flying with a set of bagpipes and convincing TSA it isn't a very expensive ivory and silver mounted pipe bomb. I usually get the one who wants to play Dirty Harry, with his more realistic and grounded associate shaking his head. Head shaker is the one who eventually lets me get on the plane. Every time.

And the stories I could tell about flying commercial in my former occupation... Lets' just say that if TSA had been around then, I'd have witnessed the implosion of a LOT of overloaded brains trying to cope with my checked luggage.

Wouldn't the easy solution be to blow them up?

I know the frustration of dealing with TSA. Last week, the reps at LAS didn't understand that I don't like my epipens going thru the X Ray.

[ohiopiper]

Quote:
Wouldn't the easy solution be to blow them up?

Yes and no. When I travel with them, my pipes are completely broken down and the reeds removed to plastic bottles to prevent damage. While I could slap them together and get some sort of sound, it would likely be one best not heard. I refuse to contribute to the gaggle of people playing untuned pipes in public. You have no idea how often I play and people come up and confess they've never heard bagpipes they liked until then. They had NEVER heard the instrument played in tune. A shame, really.

[madmacs]

As far as hose... I'm torn between my purple and claret Lewis. I thing perhaps the purple would be best, should I ever wander around with this laptop case... (That would be never again!!) lol

I was thinking the pink with a lime green checkerboard top would set it off nicely... or if you wanted to go really avant-garde, maybe sky blue with the lime green checkerboard top?

[CDNSushi]

Many, many years ago, flying with a friend of mine from Quebec to Alberta, security just about had a heart attack when my friend's bag went through the x-ray. They frantically started taking his bag apart... Turns out he took 6 cans of maple syrup in his carry-on... And on their TV monitor, it looked VERY much like 6 grenades all neatly lined up in the bottom of the bag.

As for me, when we were moving to Japan, it took us 20 minutes to get through security because even after they went through my bag, couldn't find what they were looking for, x-rayed it again, STILL couldn't find what they were looking for, I finally asked them. They said they thought I had a switchblade in there. Switchblade?!? I haven't owned a switchblade in years! Turns out, it was my mezuzah. Then, I had to open it, show them the scroll inside, and explain what the heck a mezuzah was.

Lesson learned: always put your mezuzot in your checked baggage.

[Mickey]

I can see where pipes would drive them nuts. My guy went nuts on soap and cheese. Pipes would have made his head explode!

A mezuzah I can see being an issue as well. My wife is Jewish raised and the first time I saw one I was confused too.

One trip that really stands out for me was about 15 years ago when I was government. My partner and I missed our flight out of DC and needed to rebook. He put his arm around me and said "Me and the Missus need new tickets". The next thing we knew, we were escorted to a locked room where they put our checked baggage in an MRI type of machine which eventually kicked our bags across a room against a mattress lined wall. Then while scanning our carryons, there was great concern. Radio calls brought more people. After about 20 minutes, another radio call was made. A very high level looking guy shows up and after about 5 more minutes, he opens a plastic bag, pulls out my partners G.I. Joe box (he collects them) and announces that "It's just the guy's dolly".

Seems they had immense issue with the fact that the G.I. Joe in question had a die cast rocket launcher with die cast rockets. They thought they were real.

Then they ran a patch over my briefcase handle and stuck it into a machine which the LED display showed RDX and PETN (we specialized in munitions). I won't elaborate on what followed.

The GOOD part of all of this is that on our way to the airport, we stopped in a Surplus store that was having a massive sale on AK-47 bayonets and expended, training hand grenades. We both had a basket full of both, intending to flip them on Ebay, but a long winded customer in front of us made us drop our intended purchases to try and make the flight (that we missed anyway). Had that not happened, I can only imagine the 7th circle of hell that we would have been in that night.

If that trip would have happened today, I think we both would be in a gulag somewhere. We were almost sent to one as it was.

That was actually one of my better flights during that time.

[Alan H]

I"m laughing so hard that the neighbors are going to wonder what's going on.

[brewerpaul]

Ok here is the mix for granola that had the TSA stumped last summer on my trip to Seattle. They re-ran this stuff through the xray about 3 times before they decided it wasnt explosives.

Ok here goes the rather ad lib version of what to use. It is more an experiment each time but a very tasty one. Jennifer, my gf, usually starts with equal amounts of peanut butter, almond or cashew butter, honey and molassas. We make alot so 1 cup of each. Warm them together in a sauce pan so they are a bit liquid and will mix with the grains. Now the rest is really totally up to your taste. We dont use the carob or chocolate but stick with dried fruit and such. So in a big bowl put in raw oat(not the steel cut Irish teeth breakers), sun flower seeds, flax seed, chopped almonds or any other kind of nut you might like. Bits of dried fruit are really good in this too. Pour in the liquid mix from the sauce pan and get your hands into it mixing it all up. Press it into a pan and let it sit in the fridge a day. This stuff wont really set up into bars or anything so just break off a bunch and put it in zip locks and pack it with you. Ive had some in my car for 4 months and it hasnt gone bad at all. Mostly find a good natural food store with bulk grains and nuts and fresh ground peanut and cashew butter and use your imagination. Because of the complex carbs of the molassas and honey it kicks in with an energy boost that wont flash and crash you. The grains just keep the energy in you going.

[LitTrog]

90% with you, 10% at you, with a margin of error +/- 80%.

Sir, you are not the wind beneath my wings, but you are my anti-gravity boots.

Thanks for almost getting my butt chewed in a meeting.


Tyler