Wow, sorry to hear about all that. I feel your pain on the car thing. I live in an area that's quite infested with deer, and I've had at least 6 major deer strikes in the last 10 years which required extensive repair to my vehicles (not counting minor strikes). Never had one totaled, though. My greatest fear is hitting one and having it come up through my windshield.

I think the most damage from deer strikes is usually done when the driver loses control and runs off the road or hits other vehicles. Hitting the deer itself will indeed cause damage (all of my major strikes were at 65-70 miles per hour), but keeping the car on the road after the strike is the important part! Some people end up careening off the road, rolling over, hitting fences or trees, etc. And that's usually what causes the worst injuries and damage.

How big was the deer you hit?