Need to know how polite you are to people who are....curious

**guardsman** · 29th January 13, 03:03 PM

A a works do last christmas I was asked the question , I said to the lady concerned what do you think , she said pants! I said I shouldnt wear them really, so I said, tell you what we can go to the toilet and you take off yours and I will do same! Sshe, taken aback said will you, I said yes , as she got up she looked at me as I casually smirked and said Youve not got any on have you. Caused a laugh and started a good night out LOL

**ploptoken** · 30th January 13, 12:39 PM

I've been wearing a kilt for a couple months and have gotten several questions, but "The Question."

Why do you wear a kilt? - Cause i like to drink and its easier than finding my pants in the morning.
Are you gay? - No, but my wife likes to wear pants.

Something i didn't think about until reading through this thread is that I'm pretty heavy into the body modification scene. I have more than a couple tattoos and piercings. The thing that gets the most attention is my ears. I have 3/4" holes through each lobe. Usually in public some girl, mostly girls, few guys will do this, will try to stick there finger through the jewelry in my ear. For some reason they believe i've given up the right to personal space.

I've gotten into heated discussions about this and my tattoos before. I've actually been kicked out of a Hooters for it. One of the waitresses started lifting up the leg of my shorts to get a better look at some of my artwork. When i explained it was rude the following exchange happened:

Waitress: Your tattoos were half exposed, i was just getting a better look.
Me: Your breasts are half hanging out, can i start tugging on your clothes to get a better look?
Waitress: That's not the same things?
Me: Yes is it, i'm just not as attractive as you.
Manager: Sir, you are going to have to leave.

I know most of you that read that would think sticking their finger in another person's piercing or lifting their pant leg is rude and probably thought that it is a very limited occurance. But it usually happens every other time i'm in public. Seriously.

With that said, i am very concerned about the same thing happening when the someone with that same attitude wants to check what i'm wearing under my kilt. Do i have the right to be confrontational with the person? Have i called it on my self because of my choice of clothing, piercings and tattoos? Should i involve law enforcement when someone takes it upon them self to flip my kilt up to check? I do know if i was curious about what was under a lass' skirt and looked under without permission, Johnny Lawdog would be fitting me with a new set of bracelets pretty quickly.

Any suggestions?

**TheOfficialBren** · 30th January 13, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by ploptoken

I've been wearing a kilt for a couple months and have gotten several questions, but "The Question."

Why do you wear a kilt? - Cause i like to drink and its easier than finding my pants in the morning.
Are you gay? - No, but my wife likes to wear pants.

Something i didn't think about until reading through this thread is that I'm pretty heavy into the body modification scene. I have more than a couple tattoos and piercings. The thing that gets the most attention is my ears. I have 3/4" holes through each lobe. Usually in public some girl, mostly girls, few guys will do this, will try to stick there finger through the jewelry in my ear. For some reason they believe i've given up the right to personal space.

I've gotten into heated discussions about this and my tattoos before. I've actually been kicked out of a Hooters for it. One of the waitresses started lifting up the leg of my shorts to get a better look at some of my artwork. When i explained it was rude the following exchange happened:

Waitress: Your tattoos were half exposed, i was just getting a better look.
Me: Your breasts are half hanging out, can i start tugging on your clothes to get a better look?
Waitress: That's not the same things?
Me: Yes is it, i'm just not as attractive as you.
Manager: Sir, you are going to have to leave.

I know most of you that read that would think sticking their finger in another person's piercing or lifting their pant leg is rude and probably thought that it is a very limited occurance. But it usually happens every other time i'm in public. Seriously.

With that said, i am very concerned about the same thing happening when the someone with that same attitude wants to check what i'm wearing under my kilt. Do i have the right to be confrontational with the person? Have i called it on my self because of my choice of clothing, piercings and tattoos? Should i involve law enforcement when someone takes it upon them self to flip my kilt up to check? I do know if i was curious about what was under a lass' skirt and looked under without permission, Johnny Lawdog would be fitting me with a new set of bracelets pretty quickly.

Any suggestions?

I'm totally with you on this. Respecting another person's rights to personal space should be equal...no matter their fashion choice. A kilt (or tattoos) is NOT a gimmicky license for others to sexually assault you. That waitress should have been fired.

I have only once had a woman attempt to peek...she was drunk and I made it politely and cheerfully but utterly clear that she was not invited. She stopped right away.

More than anything, curiosity is the order of the day.

I did a gig and chose to wear my kilt. My lead guitarist in my live band is from Osaka, Japan. Kilts are not the norm. He was totally puzzled by it and didn't know how to react...until there was some attention from a pretty blonde girl after the show. THEN he loosened up about it.

I don't wear my kilt for the attention but attention, wanted or not, is an inevitable side-effect. Even in Scotland, the kilt DOES get noticed. It may raise eyebrows or conjure a homesick mist or kindle pride or arouse bedroom eyes.

Wear your kilt with honour and respect and you'll exude those character traits.

I, personally, feel a bit taller in my kilt. I know that it's all in my head but that doesn't diminish he experience.

**masonpiper** · 31st January 13, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by ploptoken

With that said, i am very concerned about the same thing happening when the someone with that same attitude wants to check what i'm wearing under my kilt. Do i have the right to be confrontational with the person? Have i called it on my self because of my choice of clothing, piercings and tattoos? Should i involve law enforcement when someone takes it upon them self to flip my kilt up to check? I do know if i was curious about what was under a lass' skirt and looked under without permission, Johnny Lawdog would be fitting me with a new set of bracelets pretty quickly.

Any suggestions?

About 16 years ago or so, I was Piping on St. Pat's Make a bunch of Money Day. I was in the middle of the pub and a female at the table behind me reached under my kilt, squeezed and then patted my behind. I turned around and she was red and her table mates, also female, were pointing at her and laughing. After the set, I put the pipes up and walk to their table, sat down and ran my hand almost all the way up her leg and sqeezed her thigh and patted it. She ran outside and grabed the APD officer that was hanging outside the bar and claimed I sexualy assaulted her. The cop asked me to stand up and took me outside to question me. I told the story and said I thought it was and invitation. Cop asked her if she grabbed me and when she said she did, but it was different, the cop said I will arrest him if you want, but I will arrest you too. So was it and invitation or did you sexualy assault the piper?... Lo and Behold it WAS an invitation.
I do not recomend that approch though, later I was talking to the cop and she said I took a really big/stupid risk. I would have gotten off, but it would have taken lots of time and money to do so

I now just respond "you have to ask my wife" and if anyone reaches, I talk to the boucer and if they connect, I make a call to LE.

**TheOfficialBren** · 31st January 13, 01:48 PM

Thanks for sharing your story, masonpiper.

**masonpiper** · 31st January 13, 02:13 PM

you are welcome, just a cautionary tale, I thought it was a cool response, but it almost got me in trouble

**TheOfficialBren** · 31st January 13, 02:37 PM

I think that, though risky on your part, she won't repeat the mistake.

**Zardoz** · 31st January 13, 03:29 PM

I once had a similar thing as happened to Masonpiper in a pub I frequent. I got a firm over the kilt butt grab from a woman and returned it in kind, and she got mad. A couple minutes later I get approached by the bouncer, who I know. He asked if I 'groped' a woman, and I said No, I grabbed her butt, but only after she grabbed mine first, I figured she'd like to see what it was like. So he went over to her table and told her to stop manhandling the other partons

But just to be clear, I was mildly annoyed, but did not think I was sexually assaulted, battered or violated in any way. I just thought it would be fun to grab her *** back.

Since I wear a kilt basically all the time and like to hit the pub I've had women get a little 'handsy' a lot, and I have almost never had a problem dealing with it myself, with a response level (usually nothing) based on the original action. And I certainly would not get the police involved in it, at least not if I wantd to show my face it that bar again! When I read one of y'all talking about calling the cops because a girl lifted your kilt, I see a vision of some weeping guy in a kilt telling a cast member of Law&Order:SVU about how the bad lady tried to touch their no-no place.

**opositive** · 31st January 13, 07:13 PM

cthulhu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great-cthulhu.jpg

(most people do not get this--so i resort to something more pedantic)

**ploptoken** · 31st January 13, 10:16 PM

Thanks for sharing your stories. With the little faith i have in humanity, i'm really shocked it hasn't happened to me yet. Most of my friends don't believe the level of rudeness from random strangers until they go out with me in public. Usually a bar or party will flick some switch that causes people who haven't even said "Hi" to me to violet my personal space and actually lay hands on me thinking its all in good fun.