Need to know how polite you are to people who are....curious

[MizzouScotsman]

I have been wearing a kilt for about two years now and wear mine whenever I get the opportunity. I have to deal, as I assume you all do, with the odd questions and comments.

My question is..how do you handle when someone asks you "What's under the kilt?" Or when they think it's "funny" to say that you are wearing a "skirt". Are you polite, do you "play" along with the comment jokingly? What do you do? I am sarcastic at heart and I do not say what first pops into my head because it will be sarcastic. I also know that these people do not run into the kilted very often if ever, so I'm trying to bear with it.

Any advice or help would be appreciated.

[Zardoz]

Well, I try to be polite, and have some fun with it. I've got a big mental file of responses to those sort of questions, so basically I'll try to tailor the response to who's asking and how the questions are presented. Smart*ss questions get a sarcastic retort, polite queries get a polite answer etc...

[xman]

I too have a tendency toward sarcasm which isn't always the best thing with strangers, but not so much while kilted. I'm keenly aware that I'm noticed in the kilt and that I represent the kilted community so I'm usually more polite while kilted. It has made me more civil.

When the subject of underwear comes up from women I almost invariably turn it right around on them. "Why what are you wearing"?
From men I ask why they're so interested. It puts them on the defensive and I've got plenty of room to manoeuvre from there with, "Where did you hear that"? and "Ah yes, the old wives tales". I never answer.

The skirt thing ... I accept it. A kilt is a skirt. I don't care. Someone called it a dress? Whatever. I'm confident enough to wear it, I'm comfortable enough in my own skin. I don't need anyone else's validation. I appreciate it if it comes and say "thank-you", but I'm not about to get my panties in a bunch over it if it's the opposite.

[Zardoz]

yeah, never give 'the question' a staight answer !

[MizzouScotsman]

I too have a tendency toward sarcasm which isn't always the best thing with strangers, but not so much while kilted. I'm keenly aware that I'm noticed in the kilt and that I represent the kilted community so I'm usually more polite while kilted. It has made me more civil.

When the subject of underwear comes up from women I almost invariably turn it right around on them. "Why what are you wearing"?
From men I ask why they're so interested. It puts them on the defensive and I've got plenty of room to manoeuvre from there with, "Where did you hear that"? and "Ah yes, the old wives tales". I never answer.

The skirt thing ... I accept it. A kilt is a skirt. I don't care. Someone called it a dress? Whatever. I'm confident enough to wear it, I'm comfortable enough in my own skin. I don't need anyone else's validation. I appreciate it if it comes and say "thank-you", but I'm not about to get my panties in a bunch over it if it's the opposite.

That is why I tend to fight my sarcastic tendencies. The questions usually come from work and that is no place to get sarcastic. Some of the questions are actually genuine (usually the older people that I work with) as some have never seen a kilted person before. I wear it to work as often as I can get away with but there are over a thousand people where I work so some have never seen me in the kilt. My office is dedicated to my Scottish heritage so those in my unit know the story, thank God.

The skirt comment comes a lot of times from the opposite sex, so my ego interprets it as harmless flirting. I have mentioned a time or two that I have heard it called a Scottish skirt.

I've also seen some men at various Highland games wear T-Shirts that are overly responsive to what is under the skirt. I think the only T-Shirt I've worn is one that simply states "Real Men Wear Kilts".

Thanks for the reply

[CDNSushi]

The best answer I can give is, that it depends on who's asking, and how. I will entertain all manner of honest and sincere questioning with a great deal of patience, when asked politely... And I will generally be very polite with children. Sarcasm would not be appropriate.

If I get any inkling however, that someone may be taking the p***, then all bets are off.

[Jock Scot]

In my rather long time in kilt wearing I have never been asked the "question" and the last time I met the skirt question would have been in about 1951 in the school play ground where the question was answered with a biff on the nose.

I find that visitors are very polite and very interested in the tartan, why the kilt is worn at the height that we wear it at and, are'nt you cold?------those are the top three questions. As the questions are, in my experience, always asked respectfully and with almost always a smile I have absolutely no hesitation in answering with a smile.

[John_Carrick]

I often wear one for hill walking and people commonly express concern that I shall suffer at least some form of exposure.
People in Northern Ireland are very polite and rarely say anything. People in the South of Ireland are more curious but always nice.
Anecdotally, young women in England seem positively concerned about my choice of attire - "But why? I don't understand".
Another common request is from overseas tourists who wish to photograph me - perhaps one should get a grant or tax break from the tourist board.
John

[KenB]

At a Toronto eatery the waiter said, "nice skirt". I just sat down, looked at him and corrected him saying, "It's a kilt".
I'm not sure if he was smiling after our meal as the gratuity was not a good one.

But mostly, I am polite; try to be courteous and just smile and nod.

[Chas]

The trick is to work out in a few milliseconds, what their intention is. Is it benign or are they out to make you the victim of their wit.

Genuine interest can happen to anyone at any age. The human animal is curious by nature and people will ask questions. Questions should be answered at the same level at which they are asked. Smiling, when answering, is always good.

On the other hand, I treat malicious questions as a verbal assault and will respond in kind. I turn the conversation, so that we are not talking about me but are talking about him.

Me: I'm straight - Please don't come on to me. (At this point he can walk away with only a little loss of face. If he doesn't walk away, his world is about to implode).
Him: I am not coming on to you.
Me: THEN WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN MY DICK? IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL US ALL, OR ARE YOU GOING TO COME OUT TO YOUR FRIENDS FIRST?

The damage is now done and there is no way he can recover from it. All his protestations come to nothing. I am not saying it is nice or polite or proper, but maybe, just maybe he will think twice before having a go at a random stranger.

*Please, no one think that this gay-bashing - it is not. It is a way of dealing with straight, young men, who have consumed too much alcohol.*

Smile and fight fire with fire.

Regards

Chas