Need to know how polite you are to people who are....curious

[Roderick Powell]

I read somewhere that queen victoria asked an old veteran of the highland regiment if anything was worn under the kilt.as far as i can remember he replied "no madam, it is all in working order"
perhaps this is the first record of a standard polite reply.
However to be polite, it is difficult to know if the less decerning english lady is aware of the mulitude of dress regulations under which the kilt is worn, or wether she is deliberatly after some kind of sensation. In south west uk the kiltie does get female attention in different forms roddy

[OCD: obsessive collie dog]

I try to respond in an appropriate manner to the questioner, if it is a serious question i give a serious non comittal answer (e.g. boots & socks) but at times this can be flirtatious (Q. Whats underneath? A. Play your cards right, it could be you, then we can switch!) but usually humourous.

[Ursus_Maximus]

Some great responses here, polite, measured, funny, sarcastic, forceful, something for every occasion and temperament. Sounds like the beginnings of a new publication. “The Question: A kilted handbook” or perhaps an X-Marks desk calendar, “365 responses to ‘The Question’”

I don’t have anything to add to the what, but if someone were to ask “Why?” “Because Fugg’em, that’s why.”

… depending on how polite the company was of course. The you can leave it up to them to decide who ‘em is

[Starhunter451]

I had one 17yo girl come up to my soap booth at faire with here boyfriend and called my kilt a skirt ti get a reaction from him. He was indignant, and said it was a kilt. Later she yelled to me that it was a skirt. I yelled back that it was "mirt", a man skirt.
She sees my mom sometimes and sends a message to that it is a skirt.
I send back mirt.


I also have a pair of boxers that my wife bought me in Alaska that have three ducks and some words.
When asked what is underneath, I tell them tbe words on the boxers, my "Butt Quack". A couple if times I showed them. One girl's mouth dropped open.

Great fun!

[andycwb]

"That's for me to know ... and the bad girls to find out" has got some interesting responses to the right questioner.

"Lipstick" is a far tamer version of "your wife's lipstick". I'll remember that one.

"A true gentlemen never tells" (possibly followed by leaning and whispering "but I'm no gentlemen" but still not answering).

[andycwb]

I also have a pair of boxers that my wife bought me in Alaska that have three ducks and some words.
When asked what is underneath, I tell them tbe words on the boxers, my "Butt Quack". A couple if times I showed them. One girl's mouth dropped open.
Great fun!

I've got a pair of boxers with a bear printed on the back and the words "bear bum". That'd get a similar reaction :-)

[cryptoman]

If a lassie asked me The Question and I was an American, I would look embaraced and say, "you pervert." Yelling like a school girl was not my cup of tea. As I am pretty shameless but stand up for moral behaviour, I'd say: "If it was okay for you If i juggled your t-shirt and bra to have a clother look at your womenhood, than you can have a clother look at my space alien down there.

[Sir Didymous]

I'm kind of late to the question as I only recently started having time in the day where I'm not in a uniform (Insert long story about being worked to death at a dead end job, having enough and quitting). Typically before recently if I was in public in a kilt I was on my way to a reenactment and no one ever seems to asks "those questions" of an armed and great kilted highlander. But recently I have been asked the "what do you wear under your kilt" question on a few occasions. My answer to those who ask is "I am properly attired for the kilt." However today I was feeling a bit on the ornery side and a lady came up and said "Me and my old man were told by a kilted man somewhere else that men don't wear underwear with kilts. Is that true?" My reply was "It depends on the man." She got a bit of a grin and asked "Well how about you?" In turn I said "I'm not normally in the habit of discussing such things, but if you hang around I was considering going down the zip line (one of the rides at the festivities) later and you may find out." She blushed and my wife near choked on her snow cone.

As to the "skirt" thing: The closest I have come to anything of that nature, that wasn't a little kid, was a couple of teen boys. They were across the street when I was out walking and one of them wolf whistled at me. I shouted "Thank you!" as I continued walking they whistled again (only a few seconds later) to which I shouted "Once is enough! I might be cheap, but I'm not easy!"

So I guess circumstance has the most to do with things. I like goofing off, so I usually just have fun with it.

[StevieR]

[QUOTE=Sir Didymous;1184233As to the "skirt" thing: The closest I have come to anything of that nature, that wasn't a little kid, was a couple of teen boys. They were across the street when I was out walking and one of them wolf whistled at me. I shouted "Thank you!" as I continued walking they whistled again (only a few seconds later) to which I shouted "Once is enough! I might be cheap, but I'm not easy!"[/QUOTE]

That retort had me chuckling for a good five minutes. Well done mate.

[thescot]

At a Toronto eatery the waiter said, "nice skirt". I just sat down, looked at him and corrected him saying, "It's a kilt".
I'm not sure if he was smiling after our meal as the gratuity was not a good one.

. . .

I would have left a note: "Here's your tip--never insult the guy who's leaving the tip!"