Etiquette for Young Men

[crash]

I have lost count of the number of young people who have caught my wife's shoulder on their chin when they wouldn't give her room on the sidewalk.

[James Hood]

'Just began 13th year as religious education (pre-Confirmation) instructor of 8th graders in demi-affluent metro Chicago burb. Ergo, all scheduled encounters with them are in "church-y" setting.

Applying equally to age 13-14 young men and ladies...

...because few, tragic, pathetic few, have even the faintest idea they ARE young men and ladies. Or how to conduct themselves as same.

Without getting deep; foremost personal recommendations for your course:
* NEVER wear athletic /athletic-uber-casual attire to church or social occasions; learn to dress oneself
* Learn the hierarchy of the universe and defer to same; manners and politeness must be learned as much as game rules
* Do not be in such a frantic hurry ALL THE TIME. Take time to listen, form one's thoughts before blurting "something"
* BE where you are; play with your phone or whisper secret banalities to your colleagues some other time and place

Best of fortune in your noble quest.

[Laird_M]

Going back to the subject of mobile phones, texting whilst eating, or rather spilling your breakfast on the sofa, is not considered polite behaviour...
I found a meals worth of spilled food between the sofa cushions this morning cleaning up after my son...

[Angstrom]

Offering an arm to assist a woman of any age. A gentleman may offer an arm where holding hands would not be appropriate.

Kindness, patience and respect for the slow-moving elderly and/or frail. We will all be there someday.

It may be beyond the basics, but I'd add that learning a bit of ballroom & swing dance can help one be a popular guest at adult functions. There are usually far more women who want to dance -- of all ages -- than willing partners. A young man willing to take older partners for a spin on the dance floor will earn a lot of compliments. A man who can help his partners feel graceful will be popular.

Being known as "that nice young man" may not be "cool" but can have advantages.

[ctbuchanan]

@thescot pretty much summed up much of what I would have added.
My father was a British Army officer and I treasure the training I received at his side. Things like standing up when a lady enters the room. Respecting my elders by giving up a seat or holding my tongue when they were speaking. I am always disappointed at the constant use of profanity by young men today - they can hardly speak a sentence without the F- word even in the presence of women.
I might add one that I don't think I've seen yet - keeping a confidence when shared by another man or a woman. Gentlemen never kiss and tell. Trust is not easily earned and quick to be forfeit.
Great topic by the way.

[andycwb]

enlisting in the U.S. Marine Corps will definitely teach young men proper etiquette, in which arguably, they'll retain for the rest of their lives.

It seems a rather extreme means to learn a few basic manners that most people pick up from their parents and peers.

[David Thorpe]

It seems a rather extreme means to learn a few basic manners that most people pick up from their parents and peers.

Most people? I rather doubt the veracity of that assessment.

[Downunder Kilt]

Most people? I rather doubt the veracity of that assessment.

You have hit the nail on the head with your observation David

[Duke of Delrio]

I realize that I am swimming upstream with this one, but I lament the turn we have taken away from teaching penmanship. I know that keyboarding has become the lynchpin of modern communication, but few things disappoint me more than slovenly scrawled letters and notes.

On those rare occasions when a young man does respond in writing these days, the result is usually something that my third grade teacher would never have accepted. Every young man should know that responses to written invitations, notes and letters should be in a neat, legible hand . . . including the signature.

[AFS1970]

Earlier in the thread was a suggestion on how to tie a tie. However that knowledge is largely useless unless one knows when to wear a tie. I know things have changed a bit in society, but last year on my cruise I was dismayed to see what passed for formal or even casual dress in the main dining room. I was part of a few ongoing discussions on line about the lack of dressing for dinner in that setting and the folks that were defending their right to wear sandals or jerseys to dinner was appalling.