Etiquette for Young Men

**Cygnus** · 16th September 13, 07:45 PM

I've recently been asked to put together a "crash course" on etiquette specifically for teenage boys. Since members of the rabble tend, for the most part, to be polite and "cultured", I thought this would be as good a place as any to ask what you would include in such a course.

I was thinking things like writing an email, writing a thank-you note, tying a neck tie, table manners, appropriate use of mobile devices, etc.

So, what would you include? What do you see in today's "whipper-snappers'" behavior that could be improved?

Thank you, in advance, for your suggestions!

**Blake Roth** · 16th September 13, 08:22 PM

You might wish to try the Art of Manliness website. I've been subscribing for a time now and I would opine that nine-tenths of the material is very, very good and in agreement to what many of us on xmarks would hold as ethos. Simple etiquette, such as the tie tying, table manners, dress formality and hat protocol, that you require is certainly covered. Hope that AOM will get you started, and best of luck with your course.

**Father Bill** · 17th September 13, 03:14 AM

This is marvellous. The appearance we present leaves the first and critical impression. Personal grooming and as mentioned, "hat protocol" are high on my list. I had a fellow visit our home with this hat on, and his lame comment as we sat down at a formal dining room was that he should leave it on because his hair wasn't tidy that day. Wrong on both counts and I've remembered it for twenty years even though I've not seen him since.

I'm delighted that you actually know some young men who want to know! Bon chance, et magnifique!

**Kiltboy** · 17th September 13, 03:24 AM

One of the most powerful (yet overlooked) pieces of ediquette is The Greeting. Eye contact, handshakes, addresses/titles, first/last names, etc. First impressions are still important.

**Tobus** · 17th September 13, 05:01 AM

Since this is tailored to young men, I would say that the most obvious piece of etiquette many of them lack (and the most noticeable trait when someone actually does have it) is speaking respectfully to others, especially their elders. A simple "sir" or "ma'am" goes a long way when addressing someone in a respectful manner.

**KenB** · 17th September 13, 05:14 AM

+++ Father Bill.

Hat etiquette and table manners.... these are big issues to be addressed. Also personal grooming.

I was raised by parents who always had meticulous manners. My mother always said that you don't need a fortune or grow up in money in order to have "proper manners".

I'll finish with, "shine your shoes." Nothing looks so shabby as a gent wearing a beautiful suit with shoes that are scuffed and not shinned. 'nuff said! But I could go on.

**Father Bill** · 17th September 13, 05:35 AM

Yes. I'm hyper-fussy over my shoes. I do not like the more recent trend towards leather that doesnt really shine, but at the very least they should be evenly clean.

**Laird_M** · 17th September 13, 06:29 AM

Shine yer shoes, BE TIDY!!!, not everyone understands 'textese', don't use 'epic' for everything, how to sit correctly so you don't take up a whole 3 seater sofa to yourself...

(as you can tell, I have a 'young man' at home myself...)

Please post details of your completed course so the rest of us can throw it at our kids...I mean persuade them to peruse its well put together instructive philosophy

**Chas** · 17th September 13, 07:21 AM

When I was growing up, the importance of 'please and thank you' was emphasised to me again and again. The equation was simple - people expected to hear please and thank you, if they did not, they would think you were rude and judge you accordingly.

The other thing is correctly addressing people (mainly men). There are roughly four groups -
Those who you call Sir,
Those who you call Mr Johnson,
Those who you can call George,
And finally those who you address as Oi, you old fart!

Once you have worked out the correct term of address and added the appropriate please or thank you - You are easily half way there to getting what you want.

For most teenage lads the problem is getting the right parents to start with, because all the really important stuff in life is learned before we go to school.

**TJ Kelley** · 17th September 13, 07:37 AM

Good luck on your assignment Cygnus.

Kilt boy hit the eye contact... one of the things I find most lacking w/ the neighborhood boys.

One of the things i chime in on with my son and his friends is respect for females and being a gentleman.
My boy has it half licked, with 2 older sisters. But several of his friends are a only child or come from a house full of boys.
I find lack of respect for girls, tops my list and is a frequent conversation when all the boys are together.