Etiquette for Young Men

[Manxstralian]

"I don't open the door because you are a lady, I do so because I am a gentleman."

That's how I was taught as well.

[TheOfficialBren]

That's how I was taught as well.

I, too, was taught this as a wee boy.

[piperdbh]

One language-related proposal from me: unless you're conversationally employing a simile, leave "like" out of the sentence. I, like, know that's, like, really hard to, like, do, but if you, like, practice it, it becomes, like, normal speech. And learn some vocabulary. "Cool," "stupid", and the other 5 descriptors that most young people (and some not-so young people) use in everyday spoken English are not enough. The vocabulary one chooses to use hinders, in my opinion, that person's intellectual processes, thereby stunting his/her ability to adequately and accurately think about him/herself and the world he/she inhabits.


edited: Okay, that's two language-related proposals.

[ohiopiper]

Men, even very young boys who are going to grow up to be men, should introduce themselves with a handshake and some amount of eye contact. And not a dead fish handshake.

Address people with respect. Your elders are "Sir" or Ma'am", nobody is a "Hey, you". Before someone gets on a high-horse about respect being earned, it has as much to do with their perception of you as it does the perceived respect you show them.

Do not dress like a slob. Pants have belt loops for a reason. If they have no belt loops, they are women's pants. Wear a belt. Around your waist. Wear proper shoes with socks (or kilt hose). Flip-flop type footwear is for showering in facilities of questionable cleanliness to prevent athletes foot. Period. Shirts come in two basic types. Those meant to be tucked in and those meant to be worn un-tucked. Learn the difference. Excessive jewelry means you have just wasted your rent money, gas money, utility money or perhaps your parents money. Shame on you for being irresponsible. Wear a watch, wedding ring if applicable, and one or two other pieces if desired. Even Mr. T sold his gaudy mess.

Carry a wallet. Fumbling around in your pockets for basic things like money and I.D. is irritating to you and frustrating to those of us who have to wait behind you in line at the bank or store.

Eliminate street slang from your vocabulary. If your boss needs "Urban Dictionary" to have a conversation with you, you will soon be a former employee.

Cursing may be fine (or not) in your circle of friends, but do not let it become so much part of your speech that it interferes with conversation among more polite company.

There is nothing wrong with being the best dressed person in a room. There IS something wrong with being the loudest person in the room.

Think for yourself. Learn to gather information from context and conversation. Observe how cause and effect work in the real world, not how your group-think educators tell you it should in Utopia.

Take responsibility for your actions. If you screw up, admit to it and figure out how and why you screwed up. Don't make the same mistake twice if you can help it.

Learn to dress for specific events and occasions. Bermuda shorts and T-shirt are not acceptable for Sunday dinner with friends and family.

Expect to work your tail off in life. Work with your mind if you're able. Work with your back if you're able. Just don't expect anything for free. You are entitled to NOTHING.

Be as civilized as possible as often as possible. When you've had to live in a completely uncivilized environment, you will appreciate civility.

There is no dichotomy between manliness and civility. The medieval knight was the epitome of both. Polite to the Nth degree, mild mannered enough to be almost feminine in his behavior, was also the knight who on the battlefield was equally in his element surrounded by crushed bodies, severed limbs and screams of the dying. Politeness and manners are not "sissy".

[Manxstralian]

Men, even very young boys who are going to grow up to be men, should introduce themselves with a handshake and some amount of eye contact. And not a dead fish handshake.

Address people with respect. Your elders are "Sir" or Ma'am", nobody is a "Hey, you". Before someone gets on a high-horse about respect being earned, it has as much to do with their perception of you as it does the perceived respect you show them.

Do not dress like a slob. Pants have belt loops for a reason. If they have no belt loops, they are women's pants. Wear a belt. Around your waist. Wear proper shoes with socks (or kilt hose). Flip-flop type footwear is for showering in facilities of questionable cleanliness to prevent athletes foot. Period. Shirts come in two basic types. Those meant to be tucked in and those meant to be worn un-tucked. Learn the difference. Excessive jewelry means you have just wasted your rent money, gas money, utility money or perhaps your parents money. Shame on you for being irresponsible. Wear a watch, wedding ring if applicable, and one or two other pieces if desired. Even Mr. T sold his gaudy mess.

Carry a wallet. Fumbling around in your pockets for basic things like money and I.D. is irritating to you and frustrating to those of us who have to wait behind you in line at the bank or store.

Eliminate street slang from your vocabulary. If your boss needs "Urban Dictionary" to have a conversation with you, you will soon be a former employee.

Cursing may be fine (or not) in your circle of friends, but do not let it become so much part of your speech that it interferes with conversation among more polite company.

There is nothing wrong with being the best dressed person in a room. There IS something wrong with being the loudest person in the room.

Think for yourself. Learn to gather information from context and conversation. Observe how cause and effect work in the real world, not how your group-think educators tell you it should in Utopia.

Take responsibility for your actions. If you screw up, admit to it and figure out how and why you screwed up. Don't make the same mistake twice if you can help it.

Learn to dress for specific events and occasions. Bermuda shorts and T-shirt are not acceptable for Sunday dinner with friends and family.

Expect to work your tail off in life. Work with your mind if you're able. Work with your back if you're able. Just don't expect anything for free. You are entitled to NOTHING.

Be as civilized as possible as often as possible. When you've had to live in a completely uncivilized environment, you will appreciate civility.

There is no dichotomy between manliness and civility. The medieval knight was the epitome of both. Polite to the Nth degree, mild mannered enough to be almost feminine in his behavior, was also the knight who on the battlefield was equally in his element surrounded by crushed bodies, severed limbs and screams of the dying. Politeness and manners are not "sissy".

I agree with everything you've said here, but would add one thing: Don't mistake kindness for weakness.

[TheOfficialBren]

I work in entertainment. I swim with sharks regularly...and some of those sharks those are counted among the "good" guys!

I can say that my honour and integrity have hurt me professionally on several occasions (although not every occasion).

I have been lied about and lied to. I have been stolen from and others have also attempted (unsuccessfully) to wrest my work (unjustifiably so) from my hands. I have faced false accusations (and been exhonerated). I have dealt with underhanded businessmen/women. I have been screwed-over, disrespected, manipulated, and deceived. I have dealt with some of the most dispicable of humanity's offerings. I have been jerked-around, kicked-around, and any other kind of hyphen-around that you can think of. I have declined offers from some of the tops in my field because I would not lower myself to meet a standard that was unacceptable. I have seen lunacy treated like brilliance. I have seen brilliance met with the proverbial sound of crickets chirping.

When only the dishonourable and those lacking integrity occupy a position or field that field or position is damned from the outset. Thieves will continue to steal, liars to lie, and lesser men will shrink themselves smaller and smaller--and because no one stood up to challenge it their toehold becomes a stranglehold.

My advice would be for young men to be man enough to remain honourable, and thus be men.

[aonghas]

Swimming with sharks Wow what a "cool job"
What kind of sharks are they, do you need special equipment to do the show eg "chain mail suit"?
Are there different types of sharks in the pool at the same time?
Just terribly impressed with this, good on you

Off topic but interesting

[Carlo]

Swimming with sharks Wow what a "cool job"
What kind of sharks are they, do you need special equipment to do the show eg "chain mail suit"?
Are there different types of sharks in the pool at the same time?
Just terribly impressed with this, good on you

Off topic but interesting

And I thought Bren meant it in a metaphorical way. Still interesting though.

[Grizzly]

All boys grow up to be men, but not all men grow up to be gentlemen.

[aonghas]

I think that is what he meant.