The "Don of Fear"

[Chaps]

KC,
Not all the time, but I will wear the kilt to church a few times a year. Like you, church was the first place I wore a kilt. While wearing a kilt is definitely a sign of a refined sensibility, I am not sure I would equate it to being close to God. On the other hand, I also do not find it to be an impediment to becoming close to God. Also, if your Pastor will go to a pub with you while you are kilted, he may yet consider a "kilt day" at the church.

Grace and peace,

[MacCathail]

Kentucky, you really will get used to it in time. Honest. I well remember the trepidation the first few times. But that was over thirty years ago. The sense even now can still be in the back of my mind that what I'm wearing is a bit different from everyone else. But it really does stop being something to worry about. I've been playing pipes and doing Scottish country dancing (no, not simultaneously) for all of that period, which meant kilt-wearing at least once a week, often 4 or 5 times. That will immunize you to the fear of being the center of attention fairly quickly.

But there is one uncomfortable feeling even now. For the past couple of years I've been on the local SCD demonstration team. The "uniform", if you will, for the men is usually the Prince Charlie with the usual accoutrements. I still can't get over the feeling of being something of a doofus wearing evening dress at 11 o'clock in the morning.

[Lodrorigdzin]

Yes to everything that's been said already in this thread. On a personal note: my confidence increased as I made the kilt more my own. For instance, I ordered a kilt I was comfortable with, bespoke, and a casual 4 yard kilt. As I almost never attend formal events, I approached kilt wearing in a utilitarian sense: I chose to invest in sporran, belt etc that would make it most like everyday wear. Indeed like wearing shorts. Also, a big yes to first practice at events with lots of strangers already wearing kilts. Last weekend I attended Keltfest, where there is a lot of kilt wearing and made sure I looked "proper". Kilt the right length, not too matchy-matchy, but wearing it as if it were everyday dress. That way, it may become everyday dress. I was very pleased by the fact that I one of a select few who looked like he knew what he was doing, kilted. Those kinds of festivals, Highland games also, can be enormous confidence boosters, and it gives you the opportunity to practice being in your kilt. Funny thing is, I cycled there in my cycling clothes (The Netherlands = bikes) so I had to change into my kilt in full view of everyone who walked by the bike parking area, which was near the entrance.

As it stands, I was fully unremarkable: link to demonstrate as to why:
https://www.flickr.com/search/?q=keltfest

I've found it's easier to practice around groups of strangers who have something else on their mind.
Practice until you feel less like you've been dressing up and that also comes with personalizing your shirt, your accessories.

[Just Hugh]

The more I learn about how to wear them and dress properly the better my confidence becomes.

You nailed it right here. This website has absolutely done it for me. I also think that part of the art of wearing a kilt is knowing when NOT to - you've got that mastered already. As time goes on you'll loosen up your comfort in more and different settings. But you've got to start somewhere. . .

Starters: Highland Games, St. Patrick's Day, Tartan Day, and New Year's Eve. You can be sure you won't be alone, and you can look over other people's kit and have real life conversations that will make you more confident.

Much of MY confidence comes from knowing the answers to the questions the kilt raises. Much of which I learned on this site. I didn't want to be asked about the Sgian Dubh, and have to say, "I'm not sure why we wear it." (Or how to spell it - lol!)

Just like anything, once you know what you're doing, you'll be more confident. Read, read, read and look at the pictures here. If you have the courage, you can even post a picture of yourself ASKING for criticism. The Rabble with gladly oblige.

Good luck.

[Liam]

Hey Willow,
It probabley is a confidence thing. I love my kilt and wear it around the house at times..but when it comes to wearing it out….yikes. maybe a bit agoraphobic.

About Culloden….It was really misty and cloudy that day. Very somber.

I had much the same feeling at both Culloden and at Glencoe.

[Liam]

KentuckyCeltophile,

If a small child is standing in the middle of the mall, lost and crying, I cannot approach that child. For all the world knows I could be a pedophile. My wife could approach them, but I can't.
I cannot approach a lone young woman on the street for any reason. I would immediatly raise warning bells and appear as a threat stepping out of the faceless crowd.

?

Steve... very well said. I have tried to explain this to others, particularly women, this feeling as a North American male that you are isolated from even looking at children. Interesting, this isn't the case in other countries such as Mexico and Japan, particularly when kilted. Kids and women flock to the kilt for a picture.

[DyerStraits]

Not surprisingly, you're getting lots of sympathetic responses and great advice on this issue, which has been discussed here numerous times before (don't get us started of the issue of Kilts In The Workplace--you'll never hear the end of it). There is essentially a "How And When" to Highland Wear, and we've all found it in various ways. So will you. In a way it relates to my mantra "Wear It Proudly, Wear It Properly, Wear It Like You Mean It". I wear my kilts to the office, to the Opera/Symphony, to play golf, for tinkering on my bicycles, knocking around on the weekend, dining out and all other manner of social events. But I suppose you have to pick your spots--while I did recently wear a kilt to a wedding where the bride was of Scots-Irish heritage, I did NOT wear it recently to attend a Bar Mitzvah (as to whether or not it is appropriate for wear to church services, that to me seems to not be a moot point, for reasons both obvious and subtle). My girlfriend was mildly worried when I kilted up to spend Christmas day with her aunt and uncle and their "sept" of the "clan" (which was silly considering her dad is part-Scottish), I got nothing but delighted compliments all around (you know you've got it right when both the parents AND their kids think you look cool) and her niece couldn't stop photographing me, so there you go. Like public speaking, the more you do it, the more confident and proficient it gets--and the more receptive your audiences become.

[TheOfficialBren]

There is a time when wearing your kilt is appropriate and a time when it is not. When another culture is being featured (like DyerStraits' Bar Mitzvah) I would not wear the kilt. Church is usually a no-go for me (our city is full of stuffy neo-cons, many ironically of Galice descent).
There are few occasions that present themselves as appropriate in my city (Bakersfield, California).

I was a guest at the Irish Heritage Club here last week. I wore my kilt. Yes, I know. Kilt=Scotland Not Ireland but the yahoos here usually intermingle the two. I was emphatically told to not wear my kilt there again. I shall not patronise their club again. They were rude, flat-out. Ironically, many are members of our local Scottish society and the founder used to be an avid kilt wearer until he founded his Irish club.

Too bad. I probably know more about the history and heritage of the Gaelic peoples and Highland dress than their entire club combined and would be an asset to them. Oh, well. Maybe I'll start my own club.

[DyerStraits]

There is a time when wearing your kilt is appropriate and a time when it is not. When another culture is being featured (like DyerStraits' Bar Mitzvah) I would not wear the kilt. Church is usually a no-go for me (our city is full of stuffy neo-cons, many ironically of Galice descent).
There are few occasions that present themselves as appropriate in my city (Bakersfield, California).

I was a guest at the Irish Heritage Club here last week. I wore my kilt. Yes, I know. Kilt=Scotland Not Ireland but the yahoos here usually intermingle the two. I was emphatically told to not wear my kilt there again. I shall not patronise their club again. They were rude, flat-out. Ironically, many are members of our local Scottish society and the founder used to be an avid kilt wearer until he founded his Irish club.

Too bad. I probably know more about the history and heritage of the Gaelic peoples and Highland dress than their entire club combined and would be an asset to them. Oh, well. Maybe I'll start my own club.

Spot On, Bren. To a notable degree it's a judgement call. Even here in the Chicago area, one often get's the ol' "Why are you wearing a kilt?" reaction ("The dog ate my pants"). It's that "Only On St. Patrick's Day" mindset, which is a bit understandable, but also a bit misguided of course, and unavoidable as your example shows (I once had an Irish-American neighbor emphatically tell me that the Irish don't wear kilts; not sure what type of rock he crawled out from under, or what type fell on his head)--it's not strictly a Special Occasions garment historically or otherwise, but that's where people most frequently see them. All the more reason to judiciously kilt up whenever and wherever you like.....

[KentuckyCeltophile]

There is a time when wearing your kilt is appropriate and a time when it is not. When another culture is being featured (like DyerStraits' Bar Mitzvah) I would not wear the kilt. Church is usually a no-go for me (our city is full of stuffy neo-cons, many ironically of Galice descent).
There are few occasions that present themselves as appropriate in my city (Bakersfield, California).

I was a guest at the Irish Heritage Club here last week. I wore my kilt. Yes, I know. Kilt=Scotland Not Ireland but the yahoos here usually intermingle the two. I was emphatically told to not wear my kilt there again. I shall not patronise their club again. They were rude, flat-out. Ironically, many are members of our local Scottish society and the founder used to be an avid kilt wearer until he founded his Irish club.

Too bad. I probably know more about the history and heritage of the Gaelic peoples and Highland dress than their entire club combined and would be an asset to them. Oh, well. Maybe I'll start my own club.

Didn't the Scots immigrate from Ireland to Scotland way back in the day? Curious… maybe they left Ireland because they couldn't wear their kilts? j/k!!! (If any Irish people are offended…I'm from Kentucky. There ya go. I've just handed you an opportunity for an EASY comeback.)

I'm getting more courageous but now I'm having trouble finding appropriate venues to wear it. There are a mumber of Celtic festivals within a 2-3 hours, but month or two away.

KC