The "Don of Fear"

**KentuckyCeltophile** · 15th May 14, 02:24 AM

Since I was a in grade school (age 10 or so), I have had a romanticised idea of tartan clad Highlanders, with their kilts gently swaying in the breeze as they lean against their glimmering claymores. I developed a deep love and admiration for all things Scottish at an early age. Now, in my 30s, I have seen the Highlands, fought the swarms of midges, felt the crisp, cool mist from Loch Ness, and stood where men of my heritage died at Culloden. It gives me a chill to think about having been there. I found, once again, that deep admiration of the land of my ancestors. Granted, it may still be romanticised, but this same admiration sparks a feeling of pride--of identity. You don't have to be of Scot heritage to know what I'm talking about.

Yet, despite this pride and admiration, I find it difficult to wear my kilt even in appropriate settings for fear of criticism, snide remarks, and negative attention. Let's face it. Kilts stand out and you will get attention, positive or negative.

For instance, my wife wanted me to wear my kilt to our family Christmas dinner last December. I can just feel the tension thinking about putting on my kilt--I call it the "don of fear."

I didn't wear it to to our Christmas dinner, but did wear it to our Christmas Eve service at church (11pm at night, candle-lit, sitting in the back). I'm not ashamed, but it is alot easier to hide in a crowd. That's why I'm drawn to Xmarks. You blokes seem unashamed to don that tartan and even raise a leg like a conquering chieftain.

I doubt that I am alone. Can anyone else relate to this feeling--the "don of fear" (being afraid to wear it)? Maybe most of you have grown past this fear and proudly sport your colors anytime of day. What can you say for the rest of us? Can you share any stories of your first time wearing your kilt?

**Father Bill** · 15th May 14, 04:21 AM

Hi Kentucky!

For myself, there are times when it just wouldn't work. An extreme example: if I wore it to officiate at a funeral, the family and guests might wonder what on earth was going on, and my role is to bring comfort and a focus on God and the deceased, not a focus on me. (Only once did I wish I had worn it to an interment - I was called in by a funeral director from out of town and when the old widow arrived, she was a Scottish lass from Aberdeen with a fabulous brogue. I think it might have brought her comfort as it would look "right" to her, but as we had not met, I didn't know who she was in order to do that. Now I ask!)

At the other end of the spectrum is attending a Scots' Lodge so-called "Scottish Appreciation Night" or Highland Games. There the kilt is the norm and my comfort level is extremely high because, as you have noted, I fit in.

In between those extremes there's a sliding scale. What I've realized is that as I wear my kilt more often, it inches a bit further up the comfort scale, but there's still very definitely a breaking point.

Your judgement is your guide. Don't listen to anyone who disparages your courage or your ability to decide, but do be open to moving up the scale if indeed that happens.

Bill+

**Kiltedjohn** · 15th May 14, 04:40 AM

I do have those same feelings. I love wearing a kilt, but there's no escaping the fact that it is very conspicuous.

The more often you wear it, the more confident you will feel. Comments are generally very positive, though there is inevitably the odd quarterwit who will make a silly remark!

For me the real problem is that my wife doesn't like the attention it gets. I would probably wear it much more often if I had only myself to consider.

**Matty Ross** · 15th May 14, 06:18 AM

Think about Matty, Passing through the streets and stores here in Northern Utah Kilted, Every Day!

**Guinness>water** · 15th May 14, 07:19 AM

Hey Kentucky,
we are right there with you brother. You just have to be brave and ignore all the laughing, finger pointing and behind the back picture taking.

Once you get over the hump and the people you are around often expect you to be wearing the kilt, it gets easier. My church folks get "mad" at me when I show up wearing pants!

One of these days, when I'm out of the Texas wind machine, I will go full time kilted. There is just too much pride and fondness for the history, culture, and style not to.

**McRoy** · 15th May 14, 08:10 AM

As a former reenactor, and now Steampunk enthusiast, I am very used to wearing assorted costume attire from suits of armour through various military and police uniforms et all, so I am not bothered by wearing something out of the ordinary, nor the reactions of idiots. I wear what I like and bugger the rest. After all what we choose to wear is ours alone. One only needs to look around and see what passes for so called "normal wear" to realize our dress is really not unusual at all. I'm new to the kilt but look forward to wearing it with pride wherever and when ever I deem it appropriate. Thankfully we do not follow the norm. No one else has the right to decide what you wear allowing for some social occasions where perhaps a costume might detract from it, ex: as a Concierge with a uniform requirement at work I obviously am somewhat constrained by what I can wear, but that is a choice I made when I accepted the position. Over all, wear it and wear it proudly. Your fears are likely unfounded in any case as I am always impressed by the positive reactions of the general public whenever I've worn a costume in public regardless of how far off of the norm it was.

**tpa** · 15th May 14, 08:17 AM

If your wife wants you to wear it, go for it. What others think does not matter, your wife is the priority. Wear it proudly and wear it often and the fear will go.

I wear one most days and when I don't for some reason or another I usually find a reason to regret not having worn one.

In almost 60 years of sometimes frequent and other times occasional kilt wearing I can only remember one negative comment and a few cheeky ones. Mind you memory has never been my strongest asset.

**Guinness>water** · 15th May 14, 08:24 AM

"For instance, my wife wanted me to wear my kilt to our family Christmas dinner last December"

You dont know how awesome it is that your wife supports and encourages you to wear a kilt. That should make it SOOOO much easier. My wife has absolutley no interest in Scottish/highland things and thinks it is stupid that I wear a kilt. Try getting over that hump.

'"I'm not ashamed, but it is alot easier to hide in a crowd. "

Strange feeling but, it is easier to wear a kilt around strangers rather than family. You can blow off a strangers comments but family approval goes straight to the heart.

As others have said, most comments from others are good ones. They like the colors, history, or how cool it is to see someone actually wearing a kilt that they have only seen in pictures.

**Cardinal** · 15th May 14, 08:43 AM

Consider seeking out Scottish Games to attend. Make it weekend trip with your supportive wife! Plenty of fellow kilties there, and it should help you ease yourself into the pond, as it were.

Cordially,
Patrick