To kilt in modern north american society

[thecompaqguy]

Regarding wifely objections to wearing a kilt......

Since when does you wife tell you what to wear? Do you tell HER what to wear? I rather doubt it.

Mrs. Alan viewed the entire kilt thing with distaste for the first few months. It didn't help matters that the very first time I emerged from my study with a kilt on, I also had on a pouffy Ren Faire shirt. However, I changed that pretty quickly. I still got "looks" and "comments".

After a couple of months of that, after a "comment" I turned around, looked her squarely in the eyes and told her, to her face that she had no right to tell me what to wear. It wasn't her decision. I didn't tell her what to wear, if other people didn't like it, it didn't reflect badly on her, it was about ME. And to be honest, I told her in so many words that if she didn't like it she could damned well shut the hell up about it and keep her snide comments and sideways looks to herself.

She didn't like that....for about an hour. It was only a couple of months later, at the San Francisco Symphony, that another concert-goer made a comment about me being a poser, and Mrs. Alan (aka the Luminous Joan) ripped the guy a new orifice. I didn't have to say a word.

I think she appreciated me telling her exactly what I thought in no uncertain terms. For a long time I put an effort into being considerate, as in if an event was sort of "Her" event, then I would either ask, or just put on pants, to accommodate her comfort level. However, the rest of the time, if I wanted to wear a kilt, I wore a kilt. Now, the whole thing is a non-issue.

It's my opinion that if your wife doesn't want you to wear a kilt, and you really want to wear a kilt but you waffle and cry and worry and fuss about it and then DON'T wear a kilt because "she won't let you"...well, then you probably shouldn't wear one.

So my question is....Is it about the "Kilt"? Or is it about power and control within your relationship? Sure, a kilt is just a garment. Big whoop whether you wear one or not. But the "control" issue is NOT "big whoop". THAT really matters. Only you know whether that's an issue, or not.

I am going to try this today (you may see a later thread about 'separation caused by kilts' if it doesn't go well) she will dig her heels in and try to get her own way and say I should wear a suit instead (perhaps I will, but it will be a kilt suit ) and may protest and refuse to travel with me, choosing the bus instead... she came from a single parent family so no doubt always got her own way, but that will have to change... I'll post the outcome later on...

[Alan H]

I am going to try this today (you may see a later thread about 'separation caused by kilts' if it doesn't go well) she will dig her heels in and try to get her own way and say I should wear a suit instead (perhaps I will, but it will be a kilt suit ) and may protest and refuse to travel with me, choosing the bus instead... she came from a single parent family so no doubt always got her own way, but that will have to change... I'll post the outcome later on...

There's a fine line between standing up for yourself and being a jerk. There's also a fine line between being considerate and being a doormat.

I would not estrange Joan over an article of clothing. However, I WOULD put our relationship on the line over the issues of control and power. Only you know whether the "issue" is "kilts"...or whether it's that she thinks she has the right to tell you what to do.

[thecompaqguy]

There's a fine line between standing up for yourself and being a jerk. There's also a fine line between being considerate and being a doormat.

I would not estrange Joan over an article of clothing. However, I WOULD put our relationship on the line over the issues of control and power. Only you know whether the "issue" is "kilts"...or whether it's that she thinks she has the right to tell you what to do.

Well, I never took the time to work out what the 'issue' is, life is too short - You'll find the black women expect they have the right to tell you or anyone for that matter what to do, even if it sounds unreasonable. However, I put up with the rolling of eyes and broke out the Clark Tartan with the grey Argyll and waistcoat

which was well received by all this afternoon at the service - so much so, I'm going to break out the navy kilt suit next time round. I just let her think she has control and just go do my own thing

[SPS tools]

I've been kilted full time since about 2009. So much so that my Dr. commented on my riding jeans last week; I'd ridden the scooter instead of driving the truck. My nickname at the cigar shop where I smoke is 'Skirt Boy', which may sound bad but when compared to other names like, Tinker Bell or Church Mouse, not terrible.

Yesterday I trotted out my new Great Kilt, Ross Modern Hunting, with an ecru raw silk shirt, dark green hose, brogues (not ghillies), and balmoral. Well received at the cigar shop, with questions about the differences from my normal wear. When out for fish & chips with a friend, a gal at the next table requested a picture. (I'm constantly getting this request, which I usually grant.)

I travel all over the US garbed in one of my UtiliKilts or sometimes a 'fancy' tartan. I save the family tartans for dress up, church, etc. I would say that 99% of the comments I get are favorable, especially from people with fashion sense. The 1% I politely ignore; they usually end up looking like the back end of an equine.

Oh, and my standard answer to The Question: "Shoes & socks" or "Sandals" as the case may be.

[pastorsteve]

That's a good look there.

[Reiver]

Well, I never took the time to work out what the 'issue' is, life is too short - You'll find the black women expect they have the right to tell you or anyone for that matter what to do, even if it sounds unreasonable. However, I put up with the rolling of eyes and broke out the Clark Tartan with the grey Argyll and waistcoat

which was well received by all this afternoon at the service - so much so, I'm going to break out the navy kilt suit next time round. I just let her think she has control and just go do my own thing

At the Phoenix highland games I noted a few black men kilted...one, didn't meet the gent, that sat in the area reserved for 'notables' as it were.

I've also noted many good stout Black Scott's soldiers serving in Her Majesty's Scott's Regiments.

Good luck with the wife....life has its challenges....

[DrakeC]

Well, I never took the time to work out what the 'issue' is, life is too short - You'll find the black women expect they have the right to tell you or anyone for that matter what to do, even if it sounds unreasonable. However, I put up with the rolling of eyes and broke out the Clark Tartan with the grey Argyll and waistcoat

which was well received by all this afternoon at the service - so much so, I'm going to break out the navy kilt suit next time round. I just let her think she has control and just go do my own thing

Wow man, my wife would kill to have me look that good in any outfit. Hope she comes around, looks like you're doing something right to me.

[thecompaqguy]

Wow man, my wife would kill to have me look that good in any outfit. Hope she comes around, looks like you're doing something right to me.

Thanks. I tried to replicate the success of last week with the navy blue kilt suit, but it wasn't as well received... so separate kilts and jackets will be the order of the day. It's the Glasgow Rangers tartan next on the itinerary The Mrs is slowly getting used to me being kilted more often...

[DrakeC]

Thanks. I tried to replicate the success of last week with the navy blue kilt suit, but it wasn't as well received... so separate kilts and jackets will be the order of the day. It's the Glasgow Rangers tartan next on the itinerary The Mrs is slowly getting used to me being kilted more often...

Nice. I'm just starting out with the tried and true Black Watch and casual wear (probably just a button up and tie), and will branch out from there. My coats are all 10 years and 20 pounds out of style.

Good luck.

[zookeeper]

It's only a concern or embarrassing if you care what others think. I don't. The end.