To kilt in modern north american society

[thecompaqguy]

There's a fine line between standing up for yourself and being a jerk. There's also a fine line between being considerate and being a doormat.

I would not estrange Joan over an article of clothing. However, I WOULD put our relationship on the line over the issues of control and power. Only you know whether the "issue" is "kilts"...or whether it's that she thinks she has the right to tell you what to do.

Well, I never took the time to work out what the 'issue' is, life is too short - You'll find the black women expect they have the right to tell you or anyone for that matter what to do, even if it sounds unreasonable. However, I put up with the rolling of eyes and broke out the Clark Tartan with the grey Argyll and waistcoat

which was well received by all this afternoon at the service - so much so, I'm going to break out the navy kilt suit next time round. I just let her think she has control and just go do my own thing

[SPS tools]

I've been kilted full time since about 2009. So much so that my Dr. commented on my riding jeans last week; I'd ridden the scooter instead of driving the truck. My nickname at the cigar shop where I smoke is 'Skirt Boy', which may sound bad but when compared to other names like, Tinker Bell or Church Mouse, not terrible.

Yesterday I trotted out my new Great Kilt, Ross Modern Hunting, with an ecru raw silk shirt, dark green hose, brogues (not ghillies), and balmoral. Well received at the cigar shop, with questions about the differences from my normal wear. When out for fish & chips with a friend, a gal at the next table requested a picture. (I'm constantly getting this request, which I usually grant.)

I travel all over the US garbed in one of my UtiliKilts or sometimes a 'fancy' tartan. I save the family tartans for dress up, church, etc. I would say that 99% of the comments I get are favorable, especially from people with fashion sense. The 1% I politely ignore; they usually end up looking like the back end of an equine.

Oh, and my standard answer to The Question: "Shoes & socks" or "Sandals" as the case may be.

[pastorsteve]

That's a good look there.

[Reiver]

Well, I never took the time to work out what the 'issue' is, life is too short - You'll find the black women expect they have the right to tell you or anyone for that matter what to do, even if it sounds unreasonable. However, I put up with the rolling of eyes and broke out the Clark Tartan with the grey Argyll and waistcoat

which was well received by all this afternoon at the service - so much so, I'm going to break out the navy kilt suit next time round. I just let her think she has control and just go do my own thing

At the Phoenix highland games I noted a few black men kilted...one, didn't meet the gent, that sat in the area reserved for 'notables' as it were.

I've also noted many good stout Black Scott's soldiers serving in Her Majesty's Scott's Regiments.

Good luck with the wife....life has its challenges....

[DrakeC]

Well, I never took the time to work out what the 'issue' is, life is too short - You'll find the black women expect they have the right to tell you or anyone for that matter what to do, even if it sounds unreasonable. However, I put up with the rolling of eyes and broke out the Clark Tartan with the grey Argyll and waistcoat

which was well received by all this afternoon at the service - so much so, I'm going to break out the navy kilt suit next time round. I just let her think she has control and just go do my own thing

Wow man, my wife would kill to have me look that good in any outfit. Hope she comes around, looks like you're doing something right to me.

[thecompaqguy]

Wow man, my wife would kill to have me look that good in any outfit. Hope she comes around, looks like you're doing something right to me.

Thanks. I tried to replicate the success of last week with the navy blue kilt suit, but it wasn't as well received... so separate kilts and jackets will be the order of the day. It's the Glasgow Rangers tartan next on the itinerary The Mrs is slowly getting used to me being kilted more often...

[DrakeC]

Thanks. I tried to replicate the success of last week with the navy blue kilt suit, but it wasn't as well received... so separate kilts and jackets will be the order of the day. It's the Glasgow Rangers tartan next on the itinerary The Mrs is slowly getting used to me being kilted more often...

Nice. I'm just starting out with the tried and true Black Watch and casual wear (probably just a button up and tie), and will branch out from there. My coats are all 10 years and 20 pounds out of style.

Good luck.

[zookeeper]

It's only a concern or embarrassing if you care what others think. I don't. The end.

[Alan H]

Thanks. I tried to replicate the success of last week with the navy blue kilt suit, but it wasn't as well received... so separate kilts and jackets will be the order of the day. It's the Glasgow Rangers tartan next on the itinerary The Mrs is slowly getting used to me being kilted more often...

I SUSPECT....of course, I don't know..only you know, but I SUSPECT that varying the outfit is irrelevant. It's not whether you've matched up the brown hose with the tan waistcoat above the Clark tartan, or whether you have black hose with your black sporran on with the MacFidgetty tartan.

It's just another kilt. Another damn kilt. And you're a black man and black men don't wear kilts , and it's just plain wierd, and you're just trying to draw attention to yourself, and you make her look bad yadda, yadda, yadda.

Now, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe when you get all the stuff styled just *So*, you get the seal of approval, but when you don't nick that outmost edge of Perfect Style, you get stares, comments and sneers. I guess it's possible.

But I would venture to guess that any kilt will meet with disapproval, simply because it's a kilt and >>insert her reason here << that's bad. If that's the case, then trying to put together the Ultimate Ensemble is kind of pointless and just avoids the core issue.

[DrakeC]

It's just another kilt. Another damn kilt. And you're a black man and black men don't wear kilts , and it's just plain wierd, and you're just trying to draw attention to yourself, and you make her look bad yadda, yadda, yadda.

I’m a standard Alabama white guy, so my life remains generally easy in spite of my quirks, but I can possibly understand where thecompaqguy's wife could be coming from. I work with a young black lady who "bucks the trend" with her fashion and musical choices (cowboy boot-shoes, yodeling, and opera). In discussions with her on the topic, she admits that she catches grief from people in her own family/community for "stepping out of line". According to her, southern black women experience considerable peer pressure to conform to the expectations of the community. I can’t pretend to know that I would have the confidence to “go my own way” if the pressure to conform were too high, but I hope that I would always have the strength to own and live my own choices. I truly believe that in order to be a person of good character, one must have the confidence to be who they are and allow others to do likewise.

If it’s peer pressure that is making thecompaqguy's wife so uncomfortable, then I can still empathize with her feelings of negativity toward the kilt. We are social animals, and most of us seek the approval of our tribes, likely out of survival instinct. I won’t say that her discomfort isn’t real or even “unjustified”. Even if she doesn’t enjoy the look, I hope she can see the strength of his confidence as a virtue… because it is, and that level of character should be respected.