First Time Denied

[Jock Scot]

That's because you're too busy admiring the bridesmaids, Jock!

Dammit you have rumbled me, Bill!

[Liam]

Which is why they were referenced, and why I share them in this context. What gives me a smile in this thread concerning wedding-wear is that this is from a scriptural text used probably most often at weddings. Somehow a good fit.

I have heard it at many weddings as well, in the context of describing the feelings between the bride and the groom. Perhaps not as appropriate to describe the relationship between the bride or her mother and the invited guests.😉
To set the record straight I have never been asked not to wear my kilt to a wedding or any other event for that matter. Should that occur I would likely comply, however I would likely be curious why, and be mildly offended, (or depending on the situation politely decline the invitation). On the other hand I cannot think of a situation where I would consider dictating to a guest of mine what they could not wear to an event. Try for example suggesting to your wife what she should wear, or better yet your teenager and see how far you get!

[Father Bill]

Not sure I'd be as much "offended" as disappointed, Liam.

[Jock Scot]

Actually Liam I have never had any problems with telling my wife what to wear, I have never had the need to, however I have from time to time had problems with one son or another (i have 3 and 2 step children) on what to wear over the years. The solution is simple although hardly pleasant.

They wear the suitable attire or they don't go. The car will be waiting at say 1100 hrs and you either turn up correctly dressed or I leave you behind. The choice is yours. Sometimes they have arrived correctly dressed and in a sulk which hardly makes for a pleasant journey and sometimes they don't turn up. But the point is made and the choice has been theirs. It works.

[Father Bill]

Aye indeed, Jock, and Mother Bill and I often discuss one-another's potential raiment choices before departure.

[Liam]

Aye indeed, Jock, and Mother Bill and I often discuss one-another's potential raiment choices before departure.

And then you do you go and change?

[Liam]

Actually Liam I have never had any problems with telling my wife what to wear, I have never had the need to, however I have from time to time had problems with one son or another (i have 3 and 2 step children) on what to wear over the years. The solution is simple although hardly pleasant.

They wear the suitable attire or they don't go. The car will be waiting at say 1100 hrs and you either turn up correctly dressed or I leave you behind. The choice is yours. Sometimes they have arrived correctly dressed and in a sulk which hardly makes for a pleasant journey and sometimes they don't turn up. But the point is made and the choice has been theirs. It works.

My wife of more than 40 years wears what she deems appropriate and I would only make a suggestion if asked. It has been a number of years since my offspring were teenagers, however I recall discovering various articles of clothing in their backpacks, for a quick change before arrival at school. The biggest issue I find with my adult children is not planning for emergency situations when driving, particularly in winter. Good thing cars are so much more dependable now and cell phone are always carried.

[Father Bill]

And then you do you go and change?

Och nae - that's before we tog up!

[CDNSushi]

<snip>I have never been asked not to wear my kilt to a wedding or any other event for that matter. Should that occur I would likely comply, however I would likely be curious why, and be mildly offended, (or depending on the situation politely decline the invitation). On the other hand I cannot think of a situation where I would consider dictating to a guest of mine what they could not wear to an event. Try for example suggesting to your wife what she should wear, or better yet your teenager and see how far you get!

Once again, you've expressed yourself in much the exact same way as I would... Mildly offended (AND disappointed, as per FB's subsequent thread reply), but very much disinclined to attend at that point. Again, not out of sulkiness or to make a passive-aggressive or otherwise petulant point (even though many would choose to interpret it that way, I'm sure), but because at that point the event would have been rather spoiled for me and no longer something I'd care to attend. In particular, because I would feel awkward and not a little embarrassed at the thought that someone felt they needed to police my attire sufficiently to say something.

In our household, my wife and I have more or less grown to accept each other's idiosyncrasies when it comes to dress, and have taken on an attitude that is not entirely unlike the one we try to engender here on XMarks. If she or I comes out of the bedroom dressed confidently and without comment, then for good or ill, we keep our mouths shut. If, on the other hand, she or I comes out and asks: "Is this okay?" or "Do I look suitable?" then the invitation is open for the other to offer critique or advice. It's not a hard and fast rule, but it is something that we've been generally following implicitly. And even when that is not entirely followed, then it's usually a gentle suggestion, like "are you sure that fits the way you intend to appear?" or "do you really think those colours work together?" rather than, "you're not wearing THAT, are you?" or "don't wear that!"

[SeumasA]

Aye indeed, Jock, and Mother Bill and I often discuss one-another's potential raiment choices before departure.

In my case, that discussion usually consists of Mrs. SeumasA saying, "Are you really going to wear that?" right before I go change.