Understanding Comments.

**NewKilt** · 2nd January 06, 11:09 PM

James, a very insightful post. I fully agree with you. Even though people may use the wrong terminology, or assume that there must be some sort of special event going on, I believe thanking the person is the best approach. We have to realize that seeing a man in a kilt is not an everyday occurence for most people. They may mean to be compimentary and we need to recognize this and respond in kind.

I had to make a trip to my wife's work recently, and a woman in her office said, "I just love your costume." I simply thanked her and told her I was glad that she liked it.

Being repectful and courteous to the other person (even though they are technically wrong) goes a long way in promoting the wearing of the kilt. For instance, if someone said, "I like your skirt," you could reply, "thank you, I'm glad you like my kilt."

When we make a good impression by being courteous, then it benefits all men who wear the kilt, and helps to promote public acceptance.

Darrell

**Space Moose** · 3rd January 06, 02:49 PM

It's pretty hard to offend me. And I don't think anybody has ever accidentally said something that has offended me. To me it's the person's intent that matters. If they say something without thinking that might be considered tactless, why would I take offense, if none was meant by it? To me intending to be offensive is the definition of offensive. Fortunately I have the confidence and self assurance (read: 'enormous ego'

) to always give somebody the bennefit of the doubt that they're not intending to offend.

And for those that do actually intend to be offensive, I'm very, very rarely bothered by that, because often:

A) They're just some chowderhead, and not worth bothering about.
B) Becoming offended is simply playing into their hand.

The only reason somebody says something offensive is to get a reaction out of you, which will make them feel better. Taking the bait is only making their day.

Let's face it, making fun of men in kilts is as time-honoured and steeped in tradition as kilts themselves. I live in Vancouver, where it's not uncommon to see transgendered (or specifically transvestite) people walking down the street. I'm sure that the ammount of comments they get is much, much less than I get when I walk down the street kilted (though there's still the select few bridge-and-tunnel folks that civilization has forgotten). The reason? Because it's somewhat socially acceptable to make fun of a kilt.

Some of it is good natured ribbing, some of it is mean-spirited, but it doesn't bother me, and I'd suggest that it not bother you. If people making fun of your kilt don't bother you, you certainly won't be offended by people not intending to offend by asking a question using non-preferred parlance.

My response to well-intended and chowderheaded 'nice skirt' comments is the same, an honest: "Thanks!".

Craig