And they call themselves men ...

[davedove]

And don't even start me on the times I've been in my manual chair and trying to upon a standard door at a business while rolling myself in. It's incredibly difficult, especially if the spring setting is too tight on the door or the door is heavy, yet rarely do others offer to help. I was at one business and it was a single door for entry & exit. I was fighting the heavy wooden door and a slightly higher than necessary threshold and not winning. In all honesty I was stock. Another customer got behind me and was waiting to enter but not offering to help. Finally she asked me to hurry up or let her pass! I told her that it would be faster if she held the door for me. She replied that women don't hold the door for men; men hold the door for women.

I had a room mate in college who was in a wheelchair, and I learned a lot about how difficult managing a chair can be. I do know that you don't just go up and grab someone's chair to try and help. That can be too much of a surprise and sometimes frightening to the person. I do however, offer assistance. Sometimes the person won't accept the help, but most are very appreciative of the offer.

I don't know about everyone else, but if I can help someone out with just a little effort, it makes me feel really good about myself.

Yeah, my actions may not change the world, but they help to keep the world from changing me.

[Kilted KT]

With the wearing of a kilt, you instantly become something more than just who you are. People who see you will ask about bagpipes, scotland, and all sorts of scottish/irish things. Others thing that you are capeable of great feats of strength ( caber toss, anyone?), and in many cases you become something of a sex symbol. It is as if you transform yourself from a regular guy to something else ( can't find a good word for it). It is almost as we are emmisaries for a time long past, where men were strong , confident, honorable gentlemen.

To wear the kilt and act as anything less than a gentleman would be at least a shame and at worst...well..who knows how bad it could be.

[Richland]

Well Put KT ...one term i can think of right now.
Honorable, maybe....? A kilted gent should have honor, and display it when-ever the need arises.

[Gillis13]

I was raised that you are a gentleman first and foremost, use of manners, addressing someone by their surname unless otherwise told, opening doors for ladies etc. It is sad what I see on a fairly frequent basis in public.

Remaining chivalrous to the end

Todd

[flyv65]

Something else that popped into my head after I hit "submit reply", was the applicability of the concept of Chivalry in our modern world. I'm not a mideval scholar (although I play one on TV ), but I understood chivalry to be (among other things) a defense of the weak, be they male or female. Now, 800 to 500 years or so ago this certainly would have included any one without the ability (or permission) to wield a sword such as serfs, peasants, merchants, and women (note: this didn't apply to you if you were the infidel: duck and cover, non-Christians [and some Christians better duck and cover, too]). Now in the 21rst century it is still possible to apply Chivalry in defense of the weak, but how do we define them? This is very shakey ground we tread upon my friends, and tied to societal changes of the last 100 years; sufferage, civil rights, equal rights, immigration, etc. People recently (in historical terms, at least) empowered can be sensitive to the perception, however unintended, that they don't really posess that capability.

I apologize for my long-windedness; I also apologize for the fact that I basically have typed "train of thought" without stopping to think if my musings have any real validity...but then again, there are more than enough true historians and philosophers here that it won't take long to point out the flaws in my logic.

Bryan...polite discussion is invited...

[The Supreme Canuck]

Sorry to break it to you gents, but this is only going to get worse. My generation has taken disrespect to a new low. It is actually desirable to be a lout and a boor. That's what makes you "cool." Being a selfish, drunken, loud-mouthed, disrespectful, brazen, violent, uninformed, opinionated, blunt idiot makes you popular. It's also what the fairer sex apparently finds attractive. They hang off of these degenerates, all the while taking abuse from them. And they love them for it.

I'll have none of it.

It may make me unpopular and it may make me a failure with women, but I simply do not care. I will not debase myself for something as worthless as social acceptance. It isn't right, and I won't do it. I may be an outcast, but at least I'm a dignified outcast. Better that than a cad.

[cavscout]

There is a saying in the Bible about not offering pearls to swine. I'd consider this one of those moments. If I see a female who's all tarted up and obviously has no clue of how a "Lady" should behave and therefore not a clue how one should be treated...I keep to myself. However, in the presence of a "Lady", especially those who are more senior than I, I extend the respect and curtousy they deserve and will appreciate. Pigs don't care about pearls

[possingk]

The Supreme Canuck

I'll have none of it.

You keep that attitude TSC, when you see the folks you speak of in a few years, you will be very happy that you did.

I love my school reunions, just to see some of the 'cool' people. For them not much changes as the get older, and although your personallity won't change over the years, your personality will get you a long way.

[Richland]

My experiences are different. My girlfriend is 23 years old. (She loves the kilt by the way, and wants me to wear it when ever possiable.)
She loves it when i open doors for her, set her seat at dinner, and even order for her at restaraunts. I love that about her. Her friends are the same way.
I spend allot of time with folks who are 25 to 35 year old, and all of them are prefect gents to all the deserving ladies. I also have never had a negative response fron strangers when i am courtious with doors etc.
Is it Boston, I dont know....

[Schultz]

There is a saying in the Bible about not offering pearls to swine. I'd consider this one of those moments. If I see a female who's all tarted up and obviously has no clue of how a "Lady" should behave and therefore not a clue how one should be treated...I keep to myself. However, in the presence of a "Lady", especially those who are more senior than I, I extend the respect and curtousy they deserve and will appreciate. Pigs don't care about pearls

At first thought, I agreed with this sentiment, then I remembered that Jesus went first to those who were "tarted up" and who the rest of the prevailing society at the time thought were beneath them, dined with them and basically treated them like the dignified children of God that they were, much to the dislike and disdain of the prevailing society.

"Those who are well don't need a doctor, but the sick do" (Matt 9:12).

Even a non-Christian can see that this is but a reflection of the universal "Golden Rule": Do unto others and you would have them do unto you.

For myself, it's bad manners to hold back good manners for any reason.