And they call themselves men ...

[Panache]

Well, like I say, hats aren't really an issue anymore. I just wish that a bowler or fedora could be worn without getting weird looks...

You can blame president Kennedy for the lack of hats in modern America. Kennedy was handsome, youthful, and a trendsetter. He didn't wear hats and started a trend. On the positive side, he rather liked a little spy novel called "From Russia with Love" and gave Ian Flemming and James Bond a huge boost.

I have never gotten weird looks for wearing any of my fedoras, caps, berets, etc. Though people tend to remember me for being the guy with a lot of hats. The one problem I have with wearing kilts is they seem to go better with the soft caps and berets which are a bit harder to doff to a lady than a fedora. Bowler hats, like top hats seem to require a very specific manner of dress to pull off (three piece pin stripe suit and tux with tails respectively).

If you like hats, then by gum wear a hat! (Just not indoors )

[Iolaus]

I think the rest of the students in my classes at school think I'm weird for taking off my cap and hooking it over my knee when I sit down; none of the other guys do. I'll bet I look better to the teachers when I do that; it sets me apart from the others in a good way.

[The Supreme Canuck]

You can blame president Kennedy for the lack of hats in modern America.

Oh, and I do.

If you like hats, then by gum wear a hat! (Just not indoors )

Y'know, I just might. I'll be spending a lot of time in a three-piece suit anyway. Lawyering almost requires it.

I think the rest of the students in my classes at school think I'm weird for taking off my cap and hooking it over my knee when I sit down; none of the other guys do.

Heck, if you're going to wear a hat, wear it right! Good on you.

[Iolaus]

The one problem I have with wearing kilts is they seem to go better with the soft caps and berets which are a bit harder to doff to a lady than a fedora.

I think a general rule of thumb would be to "doff" anything that has a brim - something to grasp - which many of the soft caps have; if you have to pick up the whole cap by the sides to tip it to a lady, you're just going to look silly. I would think an acceptable substitute would be to touch cap at the forehead, thereby symbolicly tipping it.

[Tim Walker]

In these days of equality, one might no longer offer to give up a seat for a young lady but I would always offer a seat to an elderly or disabled person, regardless of sex. My wife is disabled and I recall being in the busy self service restaurant at Falkirk Wheel a couple of years ago trying to maneouvre my wife and a tray of food while looking for a seat. There were about four tables each with one person on them, all of whom took objection to my wife sitting down, claiming they were keeping all the seats for people further back in the servery queue. It took a lot of tact not to tell them just how selfish they were. Some of these people need to have a spell of temporary incapacity to teach them a lesson. Rant over for today.

I would place the handicapped at the top of the list; the elderly, second; obviously pregnant women next; people with babies or small children....

As for women in general, I would suggest a chivalrous attitude whether kilted or not.

[Beertigger]

Stretching things farther off-topic, regarding the hat portion of the thread: remember that some might have a religous objection to removing or tipping their hat....

I've discussed the "chivalry" thing with a few women over the years, and most (all, really) have said that they're more than happy that the patronizing attitudes of yesteryear have faded away somewhat. Not that common courtesy should have disappeared with it, though.

Stylizing our manners and attitudes according to ancient codes may or may not be the best approach in the twenty-first century. Perhaps maintaining a level of elementary politeness and treating others as we would wish to be should be the standard. It's the one I strive to follow; treating all with equal respect.

(Which, by my reading, is the point of the first article of the fourteenth amendment.)

[Iolaus]

I've discussed the "chivalry" thing with a few women over the years, and most (all, really) have said that they're more than happy that the patronizing attitudes of yesteryear have faded away somewhat. Not that common courtesy should have disappeared with it, though.

The other side of the coin is the dozens of women who express shock and genuine thanks when I hold the door for them, or give them my seat, saying, "It's nice to see there's still gentlemen in this day and age."

[ckelly327]

I was buying a bottle of wine today for Easter dinner and the owner came to the counter and started to wait on me. I told him that the lady next to me was first. She thanked me and then I told her that we had this thread going about manners today. She and the owner both acknowledged immediately the decline in good manners. I explained to her that we were a worldwide group and it seemed to be a problem everywhere and not just here.

Of course, when we left at the same time I held the door and said good bye and thanks for the conversation in the parking lot. I just regret not being kilted at the time but the weather is warming up and I left on my house shorts instead of changing.

[Kilted KT]

The other side of the coin is the dozens of women who express shock and genuine thanks when I hold the door for them, or give them my seat, saying, "It's nice to see there's still gentlemen in this day and age."

There are a few of those same women here. They seem truly shocked that someone actually held a door for them to pass through. The most shocked group of people I usually see are younger folks, still in school. They seem to have no idea why I am holding the door to let them pass.

it is an interesting study to see exactly who expects gentlemanly manners, and those who have no concept of what those manners are.

[GlassMan]

Well, like I say, hats aren't really an issue anymore. I just wish that a bowler or fedora could be worn without getting weird looks. People don't care about their appearance anymore. Casual work environments and all that. Dress respectably!

That's one of the things that I like about the DC area. Of all the places that I've lived or visited in the United States, this is the only metro area where a noticeable number of men still wear hats. I've seen fedoras, berets, a bowler, straw hats, and more when the weather isn't forcing big winter hats to show their furry selves. It's not a large number of men, but it's enough to make it seem not unusual.