If it's a civilian affair I usually will not wear my medals unless I know that active duty military will be there in dinner dress. For civvie affairs I normally wear the miniature enamel "ribbon" lapel pin that came with my highest award. You will probably have occasion to wear either white or black kilt hose. Get both. See what you think looks best with your formal attire. I mostly wear white because that seems to be what folks are use to seeing, but sometimes I wear blue ones to match the kilt.