See, here everybody thinks of Murphy's as "that thing trying to be Guinness". Beamish is "Guinness lite" and Smithwicks (pronounced Smit-icks) is, according to my friends, "the old man's drink". Carlsberg is used to wash off the pint glasses after hours, and Stella is what the lasses like. If you want a lager, you get Harp. Bulmers (outside of Ireland, it's called Magners) is good in the autumn, but once winter comes around the kids take to Paddys Irish whiskey. Bud and Coors Lite are kept on tap for the tourists, and the fanciest cocktail my barman Jerry (if you ever go to The Crane, say hi, he's great craic) will serve is a redbull and vodka, but it comes with a complimentary "look" and slow service...