I apologize if this is innap, I need to release steam

[ccga3359]

Thank you for the correction.i don't know what sort of councelling you work place does but I'm rather shocked at the attidude of management and staff. I'm in no way religous but I'm offended that a Chaplain may not wear a cross nor a Jew his yamulka. It sounds that a kilt does not have a snowball's chance. I don't know US laws but I'm sure these are contravening rights and freedoms. All these were started by the same individual in a similar line of work. Somewhere here you may find very important information. Ignore any posts made by me, I'm there for smart-aleck retorts only.

Here are acouple of threads about wearing kilts at work.
http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...ork+supervisor
http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/h...ork+supervisor
http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/d...ork+supervisor
http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/m...ork+supervisor
http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/m...ork+supervisor

[BoldHighlander]

My anger and hurt comes from the fact that I have worked in this office for 5 years now, and this is the first time I have ever been degraded in this fashion (knowingly). The real sting is the result of thinking that I knew these people, and that I could enjoy a certain level of acceptance amongst them.

Betrayl always stings the worse.
If any good comes from it you now know the truth about where these individuals, and can move on from there.
At any rate I'm sorry as well that you had to experience this.

And if I haven't done so before:


...from the far nw corner of Washington state!

[JamieKerr]

I apologize for my poor wording. What I meant to state was that if I can't express my heritage or ethnicity, then why should a Jewish individual at the agency be allowed to wear a Yamaka, or a Christian Chaplain wear a crucifix. That remark was not intended to be against religion, those were just the two most tangible examples I could think of someone else's beliefs being stamped out.

[Bugbear]

I understand...; you needed to tell someone and talk. Guess you probably had that sick feeling in your stomach when you started to realize what was going on. Hang in there, and hope it turns out ok in the end.

Also, hope you are able to make lots of friends here at X Marks, Jamie. Best of wishes.

[Pleater]

Hello Jamie

The complainer probably has no real opinion on kilts - I get the feeling that they simply wanted to hurt you, and to show their power through their manipulation of the establishment and environment you work in.

I'd put money on their real aim being to get you to give them a show of just how angry and upset they have managed to make you, so I can only advise that you stay cool, calm and collected if/when the subject comes up.

I can't believe that anyone wanted to wear jeans to work so much that they would make such a fuss. Perhaps they have a problem with authority and dress codes.

Do keep it firmly in your thoughts that it is someone else who has the problem - you might even commiserate with the supervisors who have to deal with such petty 'office politics'.

[ccga3359]

I apologize for my poor wording. What I meant to state was that if I can't express my heritage or ethnicity, then why should a Jewish individual at the agency be allowed to wear a Yamaka, or a Christian Chaplain wear a crucifix. That remark was not intended to be against religion, those were just the two most tangible examples I could think of someone else's beliefs being stamped out.

Oops, I read that as being company policy . Depending where in WNY you are we meet monthly or so for kilt night (so far always in Canada). If you do a search for SOKS (Southern Ontario Kilt Society) you'll see where we are next meeting and you're more than welcome to join your fellow kilted brethren. Our next get-together is in Grimsby Ontario, February 28th which is about 30 minutes from Niagara Falls.

[JamieKerr]

I live in Westfield NY, but I'm in Buffalo all the time. That's most definitely not far from me!

[Mountain Scot]

May I offer some friendly and, hopefully sage advice to you? Well, I am going to! When you wear the kilt, you must be not only a man, but a gentleman. Being a gentleman requires that your reaction to perceptions of others be handled in a "gentle" manor. A) find ways to put people at ease through witticism. B) never take what people say personally as some people, (a remarkable number), are entirely ignorant of the meaning and importance of the kilt. Be gracious in your responses. C) be prepared, sometimes to give in, especially in the work environment, to the fact that the kilt is not always appropriate for all situations. Sometimes, we must defer to the fact that there are places in which, a kilt, as perfect a garment as it is, is not going to work.
I work as a Manager in a manufacturing environment. Everyone who knows, including all of my employees, that I wear a kilt. They have all seen me dressed this way many times as I dress sometimes to go to Scottish Events and am involved with the Scottish Society.(iescots.com). I go to company picnics, Christmas parties and all other company events in a kilt. In these contexts, I get very good feedback from them all.
When I am at work during the normal day, however, I would not think of wearing a kilt because, A) it is inappropriate to the environment. B) it is a distraction from my duties. C). In a work environment such as mine, it is a safety issue.
I wear a kilt almost everywhere I go, even some places no one else would. In the workplace though, I have to have respect for my position, the position of the employees, the position of upper management, and the position of CAL OSHA.
As much as I hate to say it, there are some environments in which kilt wearing needs to be carefully considered. I think you will find, from most native Scots, that when they go to work in the coal mine, the car manufacturer, the Psychological or Medical institution, they do not wear the kilt because it is inappropriate to the context.
By no means do I wish to discourage you from feeling free to dress as you please, and, at least in California, you may actually have a legal case in your defense, consider this:
if a Bavarian counselor were to wear his lederhosen to a therapy session, well, you can probably see what is going on here.
In the work environment, especially in your field, it is important to shed your own individuality in favour of the needs of your clients. It is the time to put their needs above your traditions. Wear your kilt proudly in environments in which it is conducive to good will. When at work, if your work is such, make sure that your professionalism takes precedence over your style. This will serve your clients well and will allow them to understand when you tell them about your kilt wearing. It will allow them to be at ease when you tell them you wear the kilt.
I know that many people on this forum may disagree, but this is offered with the utmost respect from someone who is proud to wear the kilt every day.

Best Regards to you,
Aaron

[Riverkilt]

Hey, I'm a State Licensed Professional Counselor and have "been there, done that" with my agency. Long stories and long threads. I got lucky and "won" after two setbacks.

Some thoughts.

Find out your agency policy on diversity...not what they do, but what they say. Should be in the agency policy manual or even on the wall somewhere in poster form. Likely your agency officially supports diversity. The concept of how one's ethnicity can possibly insult another person's ethnicity baffles me.

Go to http://tartans.byair.net/ click on K, then scroll down to Kerr and pick your favorite Kerr tartan and make it your desktop on your computer at work.

During the time I was "banned" from wearing kilts to work I wore tartan pants and tartan shirts. Orvis and L.L. Bean are your friends, plus whatever you may already have in your wardrobe.

I've also found and hung pictures of kilted Scots in my office.

I'm quite amazed that some agency somewhere is trying to so tightly control a social worker...us therapist types are usually given great leeway in our "style." You might wish to consider other agencies and use your Kerr/Viking courage to interview kilted.

To gain my "freedom of kilt" it came to me having to file a grievance - a poor choice of words - it was more of an appeal. In my agency I only had three days to do that so I was lucky I asked right away (hint hint).

What was fun was when I asked the Human Resources Department if I had any method of appeal the lady couldn't hand me the form fast enough. Its a step by step process at my agency. My clinical supervisor passed it directly on to the CEO who changed his "no kilts" edict rather than having me take it to the next step - a committee of the board of directors.

And, if your agency is receiving any Federal funding they're on extremely thin ice to squash cultural diversity. Its even more severe in that your ancestors were once banned from wearing the kilt over 200 years ago...they are replicating historic oppression. Try that with the Native American, Black or Hispanic culture and they'd be sued until they bled.

And there have been some successful threats to sue by attorneys who are members of clans. Wouldn't doubt that you may find some support from your local St. Andrew's type society.

Often, polite education is the key. Also look for coworkers who have Scottish names, if there are any. See what they feel about it.

Stay polite, stay cooperative, but don't give up. Persevere.

Ron

[SteveB]

Jamie,
First - a very warm from Boston, Massachusetts.
Second - You are not the one with the problem. Either a co-worker is out of line professionally, or is on the wrong end of supervision for cause. Whichever is the case, he/she has decided to use/abuse you as their personal scapegoat. I hope you can keep a professional air when the discussion comes up. I do not know the labor laws in the State of New York. If this were here in Massachusetts, the supervisor would be reported to human resources, with a suggestion for some culture/diversity training. I am an openly gay male, who is in a same sex marriage here in Massachusetts. I wear the kilt as a source of pride in my Scottish Ancestry, as well as for the comfort that goes along with it. Tuesday I was kilted all day in public as the supervisor of a precinct polling station here in Boston. I have had in the past a few rude remarks about the kilt. Most have been handled by some short words of education. I have been kilted over forty years, and have only had one person that needed education by being the caber that got tossed. I am also fortunate to live in a very culturally, and ethnically diverse city. I have been photographed on the subway while kilted, talking with another passenger in full Native American regalia.
At first, there were some issues. Over time they have faded away as more people here are showing pride in their heritage in their daily clothing.

Best wishes, Steve