Branston Pickle

[McGurk]

I'm sorry to spoil the fun of everyone teasing our transatlantic brethren, but...

If you're really desperate for a decent pickle, and have at little competence in the kitchen, you can make it yourself. My mam and aunt make gallons of various preserves in the summer, so here's their pickle....

dice two carrots into small (5mm) cubes
dice half a swede into small cubes
dice ten pitted dates into small cubes too.
finely chop six coliflour florettes, two onions, two apples, and ten gherkins.
you'll also need three crushed galic cloves, two teaspoons of english mustard one teaspoon of salt, juce of two lemons, some chopped coriander
and also, a pound of brown suger and 500ml of cider vinega.

now comes the hard part... put everything in the pan and bring to the boil.

let it simmer till its all cooked, but still slightly crucnchy, then pour into sterelized jars and sealed.

leave somewhere cool and dark for a few weeks, then open and serve! Voila!