first time out kilted / almost get evicted for it

**Alan H** · 3rd October 08, 10:34 AM

You can't choose your family...

but you CAN choose your boss....and your landlord. I would suggest considering making some significant changes along those lines ASAP.

Maintain lots of contact with your mom...absolutely. I mean, she's your MOM, right? But it sounds to me like there's a LOT more going on here than just "kilts" and maybe it's time to strike a blow for independence by 1. getting another job, and 2. finding another place to live.

And whatever you do, don't accept money from her for a down-payment. Earn it yourself, you and your wife.

**kiltedsawyer** · 3rd October 08, 10:40 AM

Sathor,
Your young now, it's hard to deal with parents at this age. I would encourage you to not burn any bridges here for the sake of your son, but respect your mother's wishes in the work place. Beyond that...........wear your kilt proudly. It's evident that you and your mother have other issues. I would work on resolving those and who knows, in a few years, she might come around on the kilt issue. Best of luck,
David

**bunchdescendant** · 3rd October 08, 07:13 PM

When I first suggested to my wife that would I purchase a kilt, she kind of gave me that "are you out of your mind?" look. Once I showed her what it was all about, she then relented, just making the point that if I wore the kilt, please look nice in it. I have always done so, to the point of not wearing my black shadow tartan SWK with my retina-damaging Joe's Crab Shack tie-dye shirt.

Well, it might show up at the Loch Lomond Games ...

Instead of taking up a lot of bandwidth here, follow Alan's suggestions and maybe my SO's, too. Look good, wear it proudly and who knows, maybe at some point your Mom will change her mind. Maybe.

Take care,

Ray

**RockyR** · 4th October 08, 06:30 AM

Originally Posted by Alan H

You can't choose your family...

but you CAN choose your boss....and your landlord. I would suggest considering making some significant changes along those lines ASAP.

Maintain lots of contact with your mom...absolutely. I mean, she's your MOM, right? But it sounds to me like there's a LOT more going on here than just "kilts" and maybe it's time to strike a blow for independence by 1. getting another job, and 2. finding another place to live.

And whatever you do, don't accept money from her for a down-payment. Earn it yourself, you and your wife.

Ditto what Alan said. If you're worried about your mom's track record of "messing you up" (to clean up the language a little bit), I would not accept any money from her b/c it's one more thing to hold over you. Also, doing it 100% on your own (and with your wife) gives you a certain sense of pride you can't get elsewhere.

I'm not suggesting cutting ties with family... after all, they are FAMILY, but I'd suggest a bit more independence so that you have the OPTION to deal with her on whatever level you want to... not be forced to deal with her b/c you HAVE to. You may find that your relationship improves the more independent you become.

**Eric Peterson** · 4th October 08, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by Alan H

You can't choose your family...

but you CAN choose your boss....and your landlord. I would suggest considering making some significant changes along those lines ASAP.

Maintain lots of contact with your mom...absolutely. I mean, she's your MOM, right? But it sounds to me like there's a LOT more going on here than just "kilts" and maybe it's time to strike a blow for independence by 1. getting another job, and 2. finding another place to live.

And whatever you do, don't accept money from her for a down-payment. Earn it yourself, you and your wife.

Its really too bad how your mom feels, I totally agree with Alan H. As far as how my folks feel about the kilt..My dad has requested I make him one. I have definitely been lucky, they have always been supportive free thinkers.
At one point in my life I converted and lived in a school bus, I was a conversation piece, 'did you hear what my darn son is doing now?' Best of luck with your situation. I'm sure if you show the same independence in other areas as you do with the kilt it will work out.

**sathor** · 4th October 08, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by Eric Peterson

Its really too bad how your mom feels, I totally agree with Alan H. As far as how my folks feel about the kilt..My dad has requested I make him one.

When I talked to my grandparents on my (deceased) dad's side, they said that they think there was at least a few times that he likely wanted or tried to get a kilt, which helps solidify the hypothesis that my mom hates that I am like my dad.