Quote Originally Posted by Alan H View Post
You can't choose your family...

but you CAN choose your boss....and your landlord. I would suggest considering making some significant changes along those lines ASAP.

Maintain lots of contact with your mom...absolutely. I mean, she's your MOM, right? But it sounds to me like there's a LOT more going on here than just "kilts" and maybe it's time to strike a blow for independence by 1. getting another job, and 2. finding another place to live.

And whatever you do, don't accept money from her for a down-payment. Earn it yourself, you and your wife.
Ditto what Alan said. If you're worried about your mom's track record of "messing you up" (to clean up the language a little bit), I would not accept any money from her b/c it's one more thing to hold over you. Also, doing it 100% on your own (and with your wife) gives you a certain sense of pride you can't get elsewhere.

I'm not suggesting cutting ties with family... after all, they are FAMILY, but I'd suggest a bit more independence so that you have the OPTION to deal with her on whatever level you want to... not be forced to deal with her b/c you HAVE to. You may find that your relationship improves the more independent you become.