"put everything in the sporran that you ever intend to carry, then submerge it in a tub of hot water for 45 minutes, adding more hot water as the tub cools. Once you have finished soaking your sporran place it, without removing the contents, in your oven with the temperature set at 450 (or gas mark 4) and leave to bake for two hours. The sporran will now "form fit" those items you intend to carry..."

ain't no friggin' way i'm doing that to my scotch!