A muscian walks into a bar...

[jgcunningham]

Do you know the one about the soprano captured in the Far Pacific by cannibals?
She says, “You can’t kill me and eat me, I’m a soprano.”
The chief says, “Oh, yeah? Prove it. If you are, we’ll let you go. Sing something.”
The soprano says, “What? Sing something? Without my jewels, without my gown, without my fee?”
The chief says, "Yep, she's a soprano, let her go."




What's the difference between a kidnapper and a soprano?

You can negotiate with a kidnapper.

[auld argonian]

An accordian player is done with a late night job he was playing and is driving home but he suddenly feels himself getting hungry. He wants to stop to grab a bite to eat but he realizes that he's in a pretty bad neighborhood...but he's really hungry and he spots an all night diner. So he drives round the block and, lucky guy, he finds a good parking spot right under a streetlight. He parks the car, checks on his accordian which is sitting on the back seat, gets out and locks the car and heads for the diner. He has a seat and orders a turkey club sandwich and an ice tea...and it's delicious. He finishes up, pays his tab and heads back to the car. He gets about ten yards away from the car an he sees that the back passenger side window has been broken! He runs up to the car and looks into the back seat...and sure enough...somebody threw three more accordians in there!


Best

AA

(Piano, guitar, bass, flute, ukulele and....yes...it must be said...accordian)

[ohiopiper]

Definition of "perfect pitch"?

Throwing a bagpipe and hitting an acordian.

[HarborSpringsPiper]

I love puns, what can I say . . .

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.
After slamming several beers in quick succession (as bass violinists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!"

"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist.

"I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

"Well, of course," said her companion. "Don't you see?

It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."