Heart to Heart with my wife

**Splash_4** · 3rd January 07, 06:34 PM

Sir, my hats off to your wife for being willing to listen to your argument and to take the steps to try and understand. She is a treasure that you should continue to cherish! Just remember, of the two, the relationship with the wife is far more important that the comfort of a kilt.

**Blu (Ontario)** · 3rd January 07, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by cavscout

Over the holiday's my Wife and I had a chance to have a very productive discussion about each of our views on kilt wearing. Unfortunately it took an argument to help us have that discussion, but thankfully we had that argument.... etc.

You're not the only one that's gone through this "rite".

In fact it sounds very much like the "tete-a-tete" I had with my wife several years ago. We covered all of the standard non-sequiturs, misconceptions, and circular reasoning... the discussion varying in volume level. It was a productive discourse in which we resolved each others concerns and came to a solid understanding. We've not had a negative discussion on the subject since.

**starbkjrus** · 3rd January 07, 08:49 PM

I tend to stay away from these posts but I could not stay away from this one.

I have no sage advice to add other than my experience...

When I decided to wear the kilt my partner of 7 years said "Oh, OK,,." and that was the end of it. Seriously, no if's and's or but's. It was all on me to get all to accept it and deal with it. My family, his family and realistically (no one else matters) it has only been a matter of MY getting used to it.

er..If you''ve been with her for a while....tell her to ....well just get over it

. But not quite that way. As long as you keep a running dialog hopefully you're golden.

Best advice I can give.

I do not understand women.

Cloves?!? Any ideas??

**Warlock** · 3rd January 07, 10:38 PM

Glad to hear your Wonderful wife is willing to open her mind. My Lovely wife would like for her to step back and take a good look at you in kilt. She thinks that there is nothing MORE manly or sexy than a man in kilt. Feel glad that your husband isn't afraid to strecth the boundries of others narrow concepts. Be Happy and enjoy your Kilted husband. If you truely love him, what difference does it make what he wears?

**michael steinrok** · 3rd January 07, 08:49 PM

Some times the struggle makes us stronger, but, usually only when there is a strong basis. Congratulations on the firm foundation.

**McMurdo** · 3rd January 07, 11:00 PM

Well said Beuth Sim
My wife likes me in a kilt, but she wants me to save it for special occasions. I just keep telling her today is special, so far it works but I am sure we will have "the talk" sometime, good luck with it Cavscout. It looks to me like it will take your good wife some time thats all.

**Warlock** · 3rd January 07, 11:05 PM

Live each day as if it is your last! someday it will be. Don't worry about tomorrow to the point of not living today.

**Navyguy** · 4th January 07, 02:01 AM

I haven't worn my kilt out yet (except to the bar after a rugby game), but I do wear it around the house quite often, my wife has not said anyting one way or the other. I dont know if it will be a topic of a debate (we dont argue) or if she will be cool about it when I attemp to wear a kilt more regularly. we will see.

**Robin** · 4th January 07, 04:53 AM

Cheers to you and to your wife!

This forum can help understanding why men wear kilts, but I guess the main issue is Mrs. Cavscout's concern about what others think of it...family, friends, etc. Her concerns and doubts are understandable, because a man in a kilt will get noticed and not all will understand it.
A wife likes to be proud of her hubby and it can be disturbing when family, colleagues, friends and neighbours make "funny" remarks. What complete strangers think is less important, but still...

When I received my first kilt and went out for a first "test stroll" I was scared to death about what others would think of it myself

For some reason I was never afraid of what friends and family would think of it...they like it, or they'll get used to it. And indeed...some like it and others got used to it. Now they all expect me to wear a kilt...it's not a costume...it's the garment of my choise and all accepted it.

Why do I wear kilts? Because I like them! It's the beauty of the tartan, the pleats, the swing and last but not least...the comfort. Heritage would be a poor excuse for me to wear a kilt with only 2 drops of scottish blood.
I always liked Scotland and kilts, but it took me 28 years since my first visit to Scotland to get myself a kilt...it was my wife who triggered it btw.

My wife likes my kilts...theatre, restaurants, when we visit friends or family...and she proudly walks next to me (hand in hand) when we go shopping. People like to see a man in a kilt, so no reason for her to be ashamed.

My wife read this forum...what I post and she loves the pictures and the (often funny) stories.

To Mrs. Cavscout...it's not as bad as you think it is! Open your mind, grab your kilted husband by the arm and face the world with a huge smile...go out and have a nice dinner together. The waitresses will envy you!

Have fun!

**Improv1** · 4th January 07, 05:36 AM

I think the one thing we (I) have to watch is being too defensive on this subject. I suggested to my wife that I was going to wear my kilt to my brother's New Years Day party. She gave the 'are you kidding?' look... I started to get my back up when she said "You're going to be on the floor playing with the kids in no time... it might not be too practical." Oh yeah. I do tend to end up playing with kids, and some of my great-nieces and nephews. Had she not taken the time to explain her reasoning, and had I not taken the time to listen, this would have made for an uncomfortable day.
Open, effective communication is the key.
Lesson learned.