What would happen if Chuck Norris put on a kilt?

[GreenDragon]

What is under Chuck Norris' kilt? Another fist.

That's the best!

[Phogfan86]

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents everytime he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books; he stares at them until they crack and give him the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution; only a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits.

Chuck Norris is why Waldo hides.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once went to a bachelor party and ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When Chuck Norris swims, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said, "Get a job." That is the story of the origin of the universe.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.

It takes Chuck Norris 26 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Sorry. I'll stop

[Mac Daibhidh]

What is under Chuck Norris' kilt? Another fist.

Now That was bloody hilarious!

[Monkey@Arms]

Phogphan86,

Those brought tears to my eyes.

Best regards,

Jake

[Detroitpete]

If Chuck Norris wore a kilt...

It would be a pink camo number. Chuck would wear a petty coat under it with toe shoes. He and David Hasselhoff would dance. David would lead. ;-)

[siva011]

These Chuck Norris jokes are like most of the viral internet humor: you either get it or you don't. I know many people who just don't think it's funny. I personally think it's hilarious! I love the wit involved to think up of this stuff.

A couple favorites that weren't on the list:

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight, but not because he is afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.


Moving these jokes into the world of kilting just seems like the natural progression. The "another fist" under the kilt was a riot! Anyone have any more?

Chuck Norris' kilt doesn't have buckles. It stays on out of fear.

[MrMayhem]

The only thing stopping Chuck Norris from putting on a kilt is the Techno Viking, the only person living that could possibly kill Chuck Norris...possibly....lol....

[davedove]

There was an episode of "Yes, Dear" where Chuck played himself. He was supposed to be shadowing one of the main characters, a security guard, for an upcoming part. Of course, the character was all excited to be around the action hero. That is, until it turned out that Chuck was just an ordinary guy, who asked for parenting advice and the like.

Of course, the episode ended with some guys in a bar attacking them and Chuck wipes the floor with them.

[Clockwork John]

The only thing stopping Chuck Norris from putting on a kilt is the Techno Viking, the only person living that could possibly kill Chuck Norris...possibly....lol....

Yes!!!! That guy has to be the single scariest man alive! Chuck has nothing on Techno Viking!


Anyone care to post a link to the YouTube video?

[Galb]

Techno Viking's power is fueled by Techno Music. Once that music stops, Techno Viking becomes a regular mortal again. Add in the fact that when Chuck Norris enters a club, techno stops and rock begins, Techno Viking becomes no match for Chuck Norris.