Very Angry with nephew.

[Downunder Kilt]

In relation to the handing down of the family "papers". I think it is important that any family member who wants a copy should get one. Hence more of a chance that they will survive into the future. As far as originals go, you have them in your custody now and as with anything else you have, you have the right to hand it down to whom ever you want to. Just because your nephew doesn't want to serve in the military, please don't rule him out. He may well be the person that has the most interest in exploring the family history. (only you know your family)

Now onto his choice of tartan. You have not listed any reasons as to why he wants to go for the female line. I gather he is not trying to gain some title or position that your family may or may not have had. I suggest you let him explore that side, in fact help him, I am sure that the more he learns and his increasing maturity will also get him interested in the male line too.

[Kaw-Liga]

I sense hostility in the OP.

There seems to be a lot of unsaid background info missing.

Where is Paul Harvey, when we need "The Rest of The Story"??

Kaw-Liga

To those readers not in US - Paul Harvey, now deceased, was a radio commentator who would produce in depth background information about people and things the public already knew a bit about. Mr. Harvey introduced these productions with "And Now For The Rest Of The Story ..."

[Slag101]

I am a Proud person, and I am doubly proud of my families heritage. I can trace my families history to 1803 in Honorable Military Discharge papers. My Aunt went to Scotland to verify some genealogy, she called ahead to ensure the information's location, and had a wonderful talk with the people in Scotland. They sent a "Flagged Limo" to pick her up at the airport. She didn't ask for special treatment, it is that our family name means enough to warrant that treatment. Okay, she also has the personality that makes people want to be nice. Still, I digress.

The nephew is aware of all this information, and more, he has even requested my collection of my families military papers. I informed him that I will only pass them on to the Niece or Nephew that receives an Honorable Discharge.

Maybe this is the root of the problem. He has decided to claim his maternal tartan, his mother's, mothers, tartan. Not his Fathers (my Brother, soon to retire from the Air Force.)

I am sure that I am "Over the Top" in my anger, but I can not help but be insulted. You know how people get so angry that they can't talk? I am hurt, insulted and angry as to be beyond that point.

I am aware that many of you will inform me to grow up, but at my age, I have done all the maturing that I want. Please be gentle, and rational, because I just can't understand his reasoning.

I'm sorry, is this a forum about kilts, or emotional support of dysfunctional people? You obviously need to be told to grow up. Who cares? I don't. I do however get sick of the me, me, me, and more about me mindset of people. You appear to be suffering badly from Borderline Personality Disorder. Get therapy, but not from here. I have to put up with people like you all day at work, when I get paid to, I am on this forum for leisure and enjoyment, not to be bothered by posts from the emotionally disabled. Use your insurance plan and see a psychiatrist, take your BS anywhere but here.

[Teufel Hunden]

To withhold family information is, in my opinion, inexcusable. You don't need to provide the originals. A day spent with a scanner and a cd burner will allow the whole family to share in the information. You can give the originals to the family member that meets your 'criteria'.

SPOT ON!!!

Inchessi, I view the withholding of family records as a FAR worse crime than him choosing the tartan that is not your brother's. So he's decided not to be a military man... so what? You've essentially told him he's not good enough to view the precious documents, so who here really has the lack of respect? I'm going to say it isn't him. The military isn't for everyone, to try and force some family tradition of service like that both cheapens the service that was done, and might be done in the future, and drives a wedge between family members. A poor choice of action on your part.

When you focus your attention on something, it has to start SOMEWHERE, he just chose to focus on the half of his family that YOU WEREN'T A PART OF. Unless there's some sinister reason for him choosing to focus on that part first, why would it bother you?

Also spot on.

Inchessi:

Basically you've told your nephew two things:

1) he isn't good enough to view the family history
2) it's disrespectful of him to honor his mother's side

In what way does this young man owe you respect? He doesn't. It seems you've been the one doing all the disrespecting around here, and honestly, with an uncle like you withholding documents and insulting my mother, I wouldn't want to honor that side of the family either.

Your priorities are all out of whack. You remind me of one of my favorite trilogies, the Lord of the Rings, where Gandalf is speaking of the decline of Gondor:

"...and counted the names of their descent dearer than the names of their sons. Childless lords sat in aged halls, musing on heraldry... "

Of course you're not a childless lord sitting in an aged hall, but you've certainly decided that musing on heraldry is more important than LIVING members of the family. You've snubbed your nephew twice, and also threw in an insult to his mother's heritage while you were at it, then have the nerve to turn around and be insulted yourself? I'm not sure how that works.

[Steve Ashton]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This thread has now been reported to the Forum Moderators twice.

I am going to temporarily close this thread until the Moderators have had an opportunity to review the entire thread and make contact with everyone.

We will post here when we have something to report back to you.