Ok, I try to be honest, but seriously, we all bend the truth a little at times. If my wife asks me 'if her jeans make her **** look fat'..well...you get the idea.

I was visiting my mother this past weekend, who lives in a small town in the Midwest that can only be described as the cowboy capitol of the US. We went to eat at a restaurant for a late lunch which had an adjacent pub in the small building. Mind you, my mother works at the local high school, and I KNOW word will get arund town about who she was seen with.

As we walked in, I noticed that we were being followed by 4 males, each in ripped, dirty shirts, wearing Wrangler jeans, and two in dusty, worn straw cowboy hats. Each needed a bath, a razor, and a toothbrush. They were snickering at me in my kilt, and I shined them on by opening the door for them, and being very polite.

I went to use the restroom, and while I was washing my hands, post-necessity and one of the 4 entered. He was the one who I caught snickering twice as we walked in.

He looked at me, and asked "What's with the pants, cowboy?" Imagine snide tone of voice.

I replied, "You mean my kilt?"

He said "A what? What's it called?"

(This is where my lying starts. I apologize if I offend anyone, but I just wanted to see how far I could push an issue with someone so ignorant and rude.)

I told him again it was a kilt. He was standing at the urinal, I suppose using it, yet carrying on this conversation with me. I did not think it was an appropriate time or place to get involved in a lesson, or to use some witty comeback.

I told him that I was from the British Honduras. (A Lie) I said it is very hot there (Truth), and that I am just passing through (A Lie).

He asked me if 'that' is what is worn 'there'.

I told him yes, kilts are, and we (still pretending to be from afar) do not often wear pants (Lie).

I could not contain myself much longer, without blowing my cover, so out the door I went.

The British Honduras are now known as Belize and it is located in South America.

I think I could have told the guy I was a direct decendant of Robin Hood, and my great uncle is Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons.