I came across this on the Web and thought others might like it. It wasn't credited so I have no idea who wrote it.

Ode to my Kilt

The Men
"Ho, there, yonder gent, do you
Sport a skirt, plaid green and blue?
No manner man are you, I guess,
To strut your stuff clad in a dress."

The Reply
"Clad in plaid? Aye, without shame!
But sport a skirt or dress of dame?
Nay! Fie for shame, your willie wilt,
For denigrating this man's kilt!"

The Ladies
"Look girls, a man who's man enough
To wear a mini! And his stuff
Is all expose-ed to the air!
I wonder what is under there..."

The Reply
"Under where? Or underwear!
This secret to my grave I'll bear.
Good girls don't ask. Good guys don't tell.
But bad girls find out for themselves."

(or)

So you can ask, you can say please
Or wait and watch for errant breeze."

The Balls
"Joy! From the denim dungeon freed!
We've not been so pleased since we peed
Outside, our mid-phalange unfurled
Against the civil, sterile world."

The Reply
"Enjoy the short-lived freedom, boys,
your airy, unrestricted joys.
For, alas, this day must end.
and I must sheath you from the wind."