I give up

**Alan H** · 2nd July 08, 03:30 PM

[RANT] He owns a kilt. He owns the whole kit; sporran, belt, hose etc. He looks good in it. He's friends with a mess of us who own and wear kilts. He even has coffee with us kilties, so he'll be seen in public with us wierdos.

But he's just too terrified of what other people will think to actually WEAR it. That, and his lady, who according to his words "is never wrong", informed him that at a recent event with a subset of American men with whom I have no issues but I would guess he would rather not be associated with, "kilts" were the most popular garment.

I've seen him at one Games, once with the thing 'round his body and he looked great. Since then, the kilt has disappeared. He absolutely no way at all will ever wear it outside of the Games environment. It's a Black Watch fer cryin' out loud, it's not like he's stepping on anybody's toes by wearing it. it's not like it's his clan tartan and means so much to him that he has to save it for special occasions, it's just a KILT. He doesn't wear it to "special occasions", either.

Whatever. He's about my size, maybe he'd sell his SWK Black Watch to me on the cheap, 'cause he for sure ain't gonna strap it on, himself.

**Alan H** · 2nd July 08, 03:33 PM

And what is it with these guys who have to send me every kilt-related thing they can find? I've gotten e-mails from 5-6 guys, multiple times, telling me "DUDE, this has YOU written all over it!!"

and it's an advertisement for Utilikilts.

I usually write back something along the lines of "I already have nine of them. When are YOU going to get YOURS?"

but do any of them dare to do this? No.

It's just bizarre.

[END RANT]

**Yaish** · 2nd July 08, 03:34 PM

That's alright Alan. He may be a nice enough guy, but it doesn't sound like he has quite the stones to wear a kilt, and with that lack goes the NEED to wear a kilt.

Just keep reminding him about approaching Highland Games and Renfairs and other places where wearing a kilt might seem more normal. Maybe once he's out in a time or two he'll feel more comfortable.

**Marshal Moroni** · 2nd July 08, 03:35 PM

Alan,

Never Give Up, Never Surrender!

OK, now that that's out of my system, you can drag a friend to comfort, but he doesn't have to like it. My guess is that you need to be working on his Good Lady, then she will convert him.

Good Luck,

Marshal Moroni

PS, if the Black Watch is too big for you, let me know, I don't have one yet

**Alan H** · 2nd July 08, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by Yaish

That's alright Alan. He may be a nice enough guy, but it doesn't sound like he has quite the stones to wear a kilt, and with that lack goes the NEED to wear a kilt.

Just keep reminding him about approaching Highland Games and Renfairs and other places where wearing a kilt might seem more normal. Maybe once he's out in a time or two he'll feel more comfortable.

Honestly, I have gotten so annoyed about all this....see, I spent quite some time helping him find the "right" first kilt....that if he doesn't have the cajones to WEAR the bloody thing, maybe I ought to just buy it from him.

After all, it's in pristine condition...hardly ever been worn.

**Panache** · 2nd July 08, 03:48 PM

You can lead a horse to water...

Alan, my friend your enthusiam for kilts (and life in general) is admirable.

As you well know, there are some people out there who have a certain comfort zone and aren't happy moving out from it. If you got your friend into a kilt and at a Highland game enjoying himself then you did well. If that is his comfort zone you need to respect it and encourage him to join the Nor Cal Rabble at the games and have even more fun. Maybe one day he will expand his comfort zone, but that is something that he has to do himself.

If his kilt and kit is worn well and enjoyed only a few times a year then let him enjoy it his way.

Not everybody can be a Panache after all.

Cheers

Jamie

**Howard Clark** · 2nd July 08, 04:09 PM

The thing is, it gets easier every time. I am full time for over a year now, with rare exceptions for working conditions that are unfavorable, and extreme cold.

Many in our present reality are fearful, of many things. Try to help him with that first, maybe.

Introduce his wife to real men in kilts. It may be the key to change her attitude.

**ixxo** · 2nd July 08, 04:21 PM

So, is he a homophobe and scared people will scream "Gaaaaaay!" at him?

That sorta worried me a bit actually I ADMIT, but I got over it....but really it was no big deal whatsoever.. but maybe he just doesnt like it, try a pink and yellow sarong and see if that works on him.

When I started wearing hats a few years ago, that was many hundreds of thousands of times harder than a skirt :P

ixxo

**Alan H** · 2nd July 08, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by Panache

You can lead a horse to water...

Alan, my friend your enthusiam for kilts (and life in general) is admirable.

Thanks! I'd hate to be boring!

As you well know, there are some people out there who have a certain comfort zone and aren't happy moving out from it. If you got your friend into a kilt and at a Highland game enjoying himself then you did well. If that is his comfort zone you need to respect it and encourage him to join the Nor Cal Rabble at the games and have even more fun. Maybe one day he will expand his comfort zone, but that is something that he has to do himself.

If his kilt and kit is worn well and enjoyed only a few times a year then let him enjoy it his way.

The thing is, he doesn't wear it AT ALL, and it's been, I think two years, now? Mind you, this is just a rant at the end of a long day where I spent many hours in the server room with cold air blowing up my pleats. I perfectly well realize that he's got every right in the world to buy a kilt and not wear it if he doesn't want to!

Not everybody can be a Panache after all.

There IS NO OTHER Panache!

Cheers

Jamie

**SteveB** · 2nd July 08, 04:42 PM

Alan H and others of the kilted brethren,

There are some kilted men, and a few are regular participants on this forum, who wear the kilt occasionally. For many years I was one of that ilk.
I respect your friend's desire to wear the kilt only to Ren-Faires or whatever it is that he will wear it to. It is my humble opinion that to him the kilt is a costume that he is only comfortable wearing at the costumed event.
For many years my kilt was only worn to funerals, weddings, christenings, and other ceremonial events. At that time I only had one kilt. It is a clan tartan wool kilt made in Scotland and sold to my great great grandfather on 3 March 1884. It is a 27 waist, with 25 pleats 5-3/4" deep, fully lined and a canvas support structure that could hold up a bridge. With that history it is kept for special occasions. During my last wearing of this tank around my very fat body ( last hole in both straps with my gut sucked in for six hours ), I decided to acquire a larger kilt for everyday wear. Then promptly sewed one of 16 oz denim in self colour, strapped it on and took a ride on the subway to do some research at the library. Response was a non issue, I have been kilted nearly every day since. Courtesy of this forum and its advertisers, I now have an extensive Kollection. I am not in Kompetition with Hamish on this at all.
As I look back on all the years that I regarded the kilt as being only worn for very important ceremonial occasions only, I see where Alan H's friend will have to find his own terms on when the kilt goes beyond Ren-Faire costume, to mainstream garment.

Slainte