Days of the week?
Six Saturdays, one Sunday. Six Friday nights included.
Bedtime?
Midnight, and 3:00 pm.
How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it’ll likely take a half-day – say from brunch until naptime
What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
There’s not enough time to get everything done.
Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoelaces.
Why are retirees slow to clean out the basement, attic, or garage?
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult children will want to store stuff there.
What do retirees call a long lunch?
Normal.
Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
What does a retiree do all week?
Monday to Friday – Nothing. Saturday & Sunday – Rest.
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