Slap the cuffs on me...I want my lawyer.

[longhuntr74]

I met a member of the global kilt police today!! Actually, I was verbally accosted by him...

So there I was...

I spent this weekend at the Pleasanton Highland Games. Today I was circulating through one of the commerce buildings with my wife when I was approached by a man asking me which service I was a part of (I was in my SAMS uniform...which he recognized as being quasi-military in origin...and he was there with his brother who had recently retired from the Army). He called his brother over and we were carrying on a pleasant conversation when a fourth gentleman walks up and barges right into the conversation to bluntly inform me that my kilt is too short....In fact, those were his exact words..."Your kilt is too short!"

I replied to him "I disagree, but thank you for your opinion." He apparently didn't take the hint...and felt the need to respond again "No...it is...it's supposed to fall at the middle of your knee...yours is too short." I again responded..."thank you...I don't agree with you, but I'm not going to debate it with you..." As I was telling him this, he continued to talk over me..."If you kneel on the ground, the hem of your kilt is supposed to touch the ground...yours is above your kneecap...it shouldn't be that short, etc etc etc." At which point... I guess...he figured out that he wasn't going to accomplish anything by continuing to berate me and probably walked off muttering to himself as I said quite loudly to the two gentlemen that I was speaking with "That's why they say opinions are like @#$holes...everybody's got one!"

At some point during the whole exchange, one of the gents I was talking with said something to the effect of "jeez...what are we talking about here? 1/2" difference? Just pull it down a little bit and he'll be happy!" By that point, there wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to accommodate the wishes of Mr. Kiltpoliceman.

I wouldn't disagree that the middle of the knee is a perfectly acceptable kilt length...but it is not THE ONLY acceptable length...as he was insisting. I wear my kilt right at the top (or about 1/4" below the top) of my kneecap...which is where it was today when the man felt the need to issue me my kilt police citation. All I have to say is that if he walked around the entire highland games (claimed to be the largest in the US) correcting everybody he saw that didn't meet his exact standards, he surely was a busy man this weekend. Coincidentally...he was wearing...you guessed it...pants!!

[Father Bill]

Sounds like you handled it very... pastorally.

[Spartan Tartan]

HA! I believe you handled that better than I would have. Well done. Oh, and the entire read I pictured "Mr. Kiltpolice" as wearing pants...

[CDNSushi]

Good job on handling it well and not getting into it with them. Wouldn't have been worth it.

But it makes me think... How often do you get the fashion police accosting you when you're NOT wearing a kilt? "Excuse me, but your tie is tied way too short." Or "Your trousers are hemmed too long." Or "You're supposed to wear that kind of shirt tucked in..." Just doesn't happen. (Or does it? At least I have not had that...) Seems to me that it's something about kilts that instantly makes people an expert in the field and qualified to make all sorts of comments.

[madmacs]

Sounds like you needed a paper kilt police badge, warrant card and a copy of your miranda rights to give him... Of course then you might have had to explain it all to him...

[Nick the DSM]

Next we'll need a license...to kilt. *rimshot*

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.

[longhuntr74]

Sounds like you needed a paper kilt police badge, warrant card and a copy of your miranda rights to give him... Of course then you might have had to explain it all to him...

I was tempted to ask him if I could see his badge...which I know would have brought a bewildered look.

Hope this story gives people a laugh. I was both amused and perturbed by it at the same time. And I'm dead serious about my question...did this guy spend all day/weekend going around correcting everyone?? Or was there something about me in particular that made him think that I needed his guidance?? I guess it will remain a mystery.

[Dale Seago]

Aye, you do wear it as described. On the other hand, judging from this pic from yesterday afternoon, it appears that a lot of other Xmarkers may be equally "guilty":





It was great to finally meet you, by the way, as well as the others who were there!!

[Aspiringloser]

Those who most readily give opinions/advice tend to be those least qualified to do so. Banging your head against a wall is more productive than arguing with someone who can not be proven wrong.

[Downunder Kilt]

I must say gentlemen, that it is a long time since I have seen a group photo of kilted gents where all the kilt hems are, what I would say, of a very acceptable length. Great photo and a toast to all of you