KiltaHolic

**Freelander Sporrano** · 21st August 04, 10:50 AM

”Hi,
My name is David I’m a kiltaholic” He mumbled moving his feet nervouly and looking at the floor.

”Hi, David” they all replyed as if chanted.
”Tell us the strory David” the group leader said
”The story why your here today”
David cleared his throut and began .

”It all started like most things rather innocently.I had a mate that invited me to a party.It was the usual ”Bring a bottle ” or in my cas 6 cans. Well to cut a long story short.I got drunk and was just sitting in the sofa. When a guy came and sat next to me.He had a kilt on.”
I say” wow! That’s really cool”
”He says you want to try it on” We where about the same size.
Ok! I said …I was drunk after all.I thought It’ll be a laugh and afterwards all my mates will say what a laugh it was and that would be that. I’d just wake-up in the morning with a hangover.

Well I tried it on It’s difficult to describe the feeling of elation I got ”Freedom”I just had to have one.”The wool the cut the Feeel!

”David, David. Calm down .Take a deep breath and continue”. Said the leader

Well next it was up to Scotland and in to the first shop I saw. I squandered all my savings on a complete rigg out ”Prince charlie the whole shooting match.

They told me about the internet sites they knew of. I had no PC so I went to the bank and got a lone.I sat for hours just looking at the screen looking at all the different tartans that where available.Things were just a ”One stop click shop away”

By the end of the first month I’d got to the stage where I’d burnt all my trousers and people in the villiage I live had begun to call me Jock and mocked me.

No matter I moved.Sold my house and, bought a flat .With the extra I bought even more kilts. I saw tartan everywhere. I began to hang things in the wardrobe. I purchased items of clothing that only matched the kilts I had.

Still more.I started learning the Bagpipes.The neigbours complained. So I had to move…This time to a smaller flat and the extra went to more whisky and even more kilts……I started to skip work because of chatting on the internett.

The dowmward spiral was beginning.A friend (the one I had left) recommened I come here.

”Oh! Sorry we’re all here for the same reason” they all chanted
David ran screamming into the night

**GMan** · 21st August 04, 12:00 PM

David,

How come this all sounds vaguely familiar? Have I been at the same place? Was it at a different time? I am not sure, my entire reality is becoming blurred. My house is beginning to fall apart, my friends left me when I burned my trousers. But I have many new and wonderful friends who do understand what is happening to me. I am now seeing clearly, it is for my own good, my house is coming back into shape. As far as the burning trousers are concerned, I do not miss them one bit

**Graham** · 21st August 04, 03:52 PM

whisky doesn't help the spelling much does it!

**Rob Wright** · 21st August 04, 04:07 PM

You make it sound like its a bad thing.

Rob Wright

**Blu (Ontario)** · 21st August 04, 04:40 PM

Hmmm... I don't know about the rest of you but I was born with my addiction. Just as a moth is drawn to the light, I too am drawn to the kilt.

**Freelander Sporrano** · 22nd August 04, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by Rob Wright

You make it sound like its a bad thing.

Rob Wright

I was just having a bit of fun .All this talk of addiction and what have you.I have just listened to the old pyhon sketch about lads at a party passing round the cheese. Same type of thing really

Graham:sorry aboat the spalling I was a lottle tied so I mosspalled aphew worms

Smile out there you lot. You never Know who's watching.

**Graham** · 22nd August 04, 06:34 AM

Originally Posted by Blu (Ontario)

Hmmm... I don't know about the rest of you but I was born with my addiction. Just as a moth is drawn to the light, I too am drawn to the kilt.

Yes yes yes Blu, you know I've been going back in my mind (not out of it) to early times when I had occasion to wear various MUG's such as a time in malaysia where i wore a lungi and travelled to the island of Penang with it on. I remember how different it made me feel, I was 21 at the time.

So is it true that some are "called to the kilt"? is it predestined? (John Calvin would be happy)

All I do know is that in a kilt I feel that I am as I should be, no longer any conflict, whole...complete.